It's Happy...NPR

[hummer]

Thank you....Ray...Alex44....Jo6...and Mark N....

I am back from my trip....I have read your words...and been 'petted' by them...for I am in an excruciating amount of pain...home yesterday..but didn't even move from my chair....except for trips to the 'girls room'....today about a bit more..but still not able for long sit at computer...and...I must go out....but wanting to thank you....and I do have stories....good ones....

And...

Ray....I had a dear friend that did bee sting therapy...for years...live ones...doctor administered...and then I would go and work on her legs afterwards....after a few years...the doctor injected the bee...is it venom..?...with a wee bit of pain med included...she used to get about 30 stings/shots at a time....

It helped her tremdously....can't remember about the pain...but with the therapy she could control leg spasms...an effect of her disease..that were strong enough to fling a person across a room....and control her bladder....loss of bladder control another symptom of her disease....right there I think it would be worth it for that...how horrible to be out in public and lose your bladder control...

I just remember those talks...as it was some years ago...but I do remember getting her foot in the face one time in a spasm...talk about whack....having some control over that was huge...too.....

Already...I start rambling...but body is saying...not even saying..but threatening...violence....if I do not stop sitting....

Will come back when I am allowed....ha...

Blessings on us all.........

[Jo6]

many (((((( Hummer)))))) Just take a hug out of this bundle I'm leaving in the corner. I miss you and hope you are better soon s

[Mark N]

Hummer, I hope your body recovers soon and you are up and about without too much pain. My big trip is coming up Thanksgiving weekend and I dread thinking about it. Six hours in the car and sleeping without my chair turning around and driving back six hours I will be down for a week unless I get pleasantly surprised. Get feeling better soon.

ps our trees have put on their coat of many colors at least until tonight's thunderstorm, this followed yesterday's wind storm. The trees held on tight to their colors and some still are showing off their blazing glory. Most of the trees in our area are gold and orange with a few reds so the hils look like they are covered in gold with a few red rubys sprinkled about. Summer brings the water sports and picnics but Fall is the time for nature to go to the final Ball of the year. They have worked all Spring and Summer taking in enough food to prepare for Winter's cold stretch and the side effect is they head into Winter showing off their finest colors.

[alex44]

Hummer - your lovely words struck a chord with me - I lost my dad to Alzhimers - He had to go to a nursing home - what a lonely place - He passed peacefully but not before we talked and talked - I will not go to a nursing home, My S/O will see to that, we have done the paperwork. When Spirit calls me, I will not fight, I will go home as Spirit intends - Hospice will be called at the appropriate time. I will do the same for her. Don't mean to be a downer but i get the picture part too well. Be well and god bless.
Blessings
Alex44

[Mark N]

Alex, not a bummer in my mind as I am taking the same approach. I know however I may get to be a too big a job for my wife to handle but I hope she can hire in some help to keep me at home. When it is my time there is no fighting it. I have even told my family that if I have a terminal disease I won't take treatment unless it is something with a very high rate of cure. I think too many in our society don't see death as part of our life and go to unbelieveable ends to avoid it for even a few months. I think it is a shame that most of our medical expense come in the last six months of our lives and we could really reduce the amount of money spent on health care if we would accept death. I am not talking about accepting death when there is a good chance of extending life for several years. I hope I haven't offended anyone as this is just my belief and I don't think badly of anyone that makes a different choice.

[alex44]

Mark - thank you for your reply - you put into words that which I could not - i agree - too many do not see death as part of the natural order of things, which it is. As part of my faith, My own personal belief is that we simply move on to a higher plane - the soul is energy and as such can be niether created nor destroyed. I stopped being afraid a long time ago, it is Spirits grace that I am still here - too many close calls but I believe Spirit has a reason for me to be here. Again thank you and have a happy thanksgiving.
Blessings
Alex44

Ps - these are MY views and are not meant to offend - blessed be - to each thier own belief - Also, I am going thru my normal holiday blues but i would NEVER hurt myself or others.
Blessings
A.

[hummer]

Hello....

I am going to see how it goes...sitting here...and dare I say...mind wise....where will my mind wander...always an adventure...that's my husbands joke....

Alex44...and anyone else....
As far as this thread is concerned...You can write or say anything you want...and it can take any meandering path....or a straight shot in a hurry...to what ever rises within...because...that is what I am going to use it for....talking...sorting...coming to grips...laughing...loving.... searching...wondering ...what ever-ing...and...I am going to share it with whom ever...has the 'luck'...or fortitude to come here and read.....

Fair warning....to all.........

I have been and come and gone...and gone some more....I can't even remember what was last said...and I am not going to read the whole post...just the last few....

Mark N....love your prose....my trees...most outer trees have lost their leaves...and can see through the skeletal trunks and branches...faint images of houses across the wash and up the hill....It takes away from the delusion of hidden....but...really I am still very hidden....

The huge trees in my yard...are just starting to drop their leaves...and they are crayon yellow...they look like they are lit up by electricity...their color so alive and glowing....My winter grass is beginning to fill more of the ground....I spread more seed...as it was to rain....then if the leaves fell...I could leave them to incubate under their blanketing....but...it didn't rain...it was a trick....

Today...I hope....I am going to plant flowers...my little sweet Winter flowers...I have flats of them never planted...I told my husband...I was going to buy a bag of dirt....we are on a tight budget...but...I bought two...oh the luxury....my husband laughed...said good...I can tell the guys at work....I hooked my wife up with some dirtbags...cause she likes them...He is such a goof....

The sun is rising...out my window...everything is the palest...liquid wash....of pink....everything is a glorious watercolor hue...images seeming unreal...changing from moment to moment...even through the window...my skin is so pretty....when it gets like this....I love to go stand in it and have a skin bath...did you know...there is a scientific study....about color...if you put a pink...color cell...of a certain frequency and shine a light through it...and you skin bath under it...it reduces...and stops....wrinkles in your skin...pretty amazing....supposedly meditating that color has somewhat of the same effect.......I took a course for something else...but there was a section and a research project by the instructor...about how color and it's frequencies affected the body and the brain/mind....VERY interesting....

Well...rambling....leaping about....here goes another dive....

It was the time of the art exhibit...I have been in for years....I didn't make anything...I didn't have the mind....or the body of strength....for it...it was really hard to tell the Curator...but...she didn't care...she just was worried...I would still be able to help with the installation....YAY....I look forward to doing that...and this year...was special...as the exhibit was to be in a brand new location...different city...where a major part of my family lives....so they might actually see what I have done...and the exhibit space was huge...10,000 square feet....lovely...the last few years the museum it was in....the space was really too small....for the amount of people...on opening night...

I didn't fare well physically this year....I was in a lot of pain...horrific pain....too much standing on my injured foot...and....we had to be out of the museum by 8:00 p.m......the last musuem...let us stay till 10:00....which I thought then was a bummer....I liked the exhibit hall that let us stay 24 hours...at least I knew I could get it done...even if I stayed up all night...which was often the case....I don't come in to do what I do....until the last 3 days....and the first day....nothing is placed so I can't do the physical part...I just come and look...at the art...and jewels...and other objects...and start creating what goes where...and how this goes with that....and this year...the curator and I went back...one day...and I got to help...just her and I...place everything...which is THE MOST FUN....

They had a new guy helping....he had been there for the week before....doing construction and such...then I showed up....and was expressing my opinion...about everything...and saying...NO...I don't like that...and he finally just turned on me...and went off a bit...about how no one cares what I think...but...we explained...that...they had been waiting for me to do just that...tell them what to do...and I wasn't saying I didn't like the art...I was saying I didn't like where it was....or what it was next to....You have to place things in a complimentary way...so that...each peice....is set to it's best advantage...so that the eye actually stops and sees....You can't have a $20,000.00 piece....next to something that makes it look unapealing...or your eye passes right over it...on to the next....you create a path...a circle for the brain's vision path.....

I can do that....I can make a path...that the brain registars everything...it doesn't pass over...I don't know if that is from my brain injury...or from before....but it is like doing these huge puzzles...and the puzzle pieces are these...exquisite pieces of ART...by the most famed of talent in their field...it is an extraordinary experience...and I get to hold these objects in my hand...I get to feel them...the quality of the materials...and then...the energy the artist's infused....by hundreds of hours....of intense concentration...and talent...that alone is exceptional...but then I get to make collages.....small little works of art.....in another way....putting them together on the pedestals under glass...or now...pexiglass....before the tops are screwed on....it is JOY JOY JOY....

The curator and her assistant....whom I love and adore....he loves me back....told me they couldn't wait for me to get there...they had a surprise....The curator who has both my coats...cause I don't want them in my house...brought them both and put them in the exhibit....I was kind of cringy...but glad to have something in the exhibit...The curator even made me talk about them....to the docents....she was taking on a tour.....never gave me any warning...just came and pulled me off my displays...and told me to talk...If you know me at all....my fingers flail....but not my mouth to strangers...but...I think I did okay...and they asked questions....and they had all wandered past me before...without a second glance....but looking at what I created...I got a chorus of oooooo's and ahhhhh's from about 30 adults....it was a small choir of sounds....that was a bit fun...until I had to start talking...I was glad when I was done...

Okay....spine says quit...right now...I am not even going to proof read....

Blessings on us all....thanks for sharing....you.....with my rambles....

[alex44]

Hummer - Bless You - I actually remember when you made your last coat and was posting about the trials and tribulations you went thru making it. I LOVE what the Curator did, putting your coats in the exhibit - what a wonderful man. I am building the raised gardens as you suggested and will get get some supersoil when the budget permits... I hope you had a nice thanksgiving -I know how hard it is sometimes but Spirit is always with us and does not allow it to become too bad, even though it may feel that way sometimes but as bad as we have it, as others on this board do also, we could be worse, many are. May they also be blessed. I hope this finds you and your family doing as well as ya'll can - and as pain free as you can be, as well as everyone else here.
Blessings
Love and Light
Alex44

[Mark N]

Hummer, I had forgotten about your work with the exhibits and this post brought back a lot of memories about your projects and efforts with the exhibit. I am so glad you were able todo it this year despite the excruciating pain as I know the joy you felt overcame the pain at least for a short time. It is clear you had a wonderful time and enjoyed being part of it.

Alex good luck with your raised garden. I hope you get the bounty you are expecting from the plants you are putting in.

My basement project continues a bit at a time. I have the flooring done in the family room and we just got the tile for the bedroom part of the suite. I have started the wainscotting on two of the walls which will give them some architectual detail to the walls and help define the area as separate from the bedroom area. I hope to have it finished and painted by Christmas but it won't be easy to do at the rate I am going.

[Burr]

Mark N ,
I noticed you are working on your basement. I would think you have a concrete floor to start with. What flooring are you using ? I see your using tile in the bed room. Is it ceramic, vinyl, or what, and do you use a barrier between the floor and concrete? What did you use in the family room ? We used carpet once and are now removing it. It's a little damp down there, and the carpet started to smell. Trying to figure out what to do now. Thanks for any help.

[hummer]

Hello....
I just have to mention...that...I LOVE..LOVE...LOVE....the colors of the forum when you are not logged in...I keep myself logged in...but having some computer issues...so opened to the forum not logged in...It is so pretty...I love those colors....and they are complimentary colors on the color wheel...so it creates the balance that my brain just went into full relax mode...in an instant...and of course I adore Christmas...

For years after my accident..and during my recovery...after filling out mountains of forms...every visit...and every different doctor...after a while...in the space where you list what do you do...I mean really...I was still having people help me walk and put my brace on...clearly I was barely functioning...and still I kept getting these forms to fill out...so I started filling in those spaces with....I am Santa's favorite Elf...and on his year round staff....that...and to some secondary question...I wrote....Saint in training....

It was soooooooooooo funny...the looks on their faces....and I was dead serious in my responses...so they just kind of left that section...as there was real questions about my brain function and reality...(not that far gone...to know)...but...I always felt there was a little bit of truth in both statements...so I was very convincing...it still makes me laugh...because....

I am Santa's favorite Elf....on his year round staff...and most certainly....A Saint in training...(like so many of us here.)

See...you haven't heard from me since...?...and I go right off on a ramble....

Alex...

The Curator is a woman....and has a mind...I so admire....endless patience...and can do 40 things at once...but still tells me...every year she couldn't do it without me...and learns things from me...I find that astonishing...!....because I marvel at what she creates...and her ability to process and handle conflicting schedules...and the minds of so many 'Artists' at once....as most Artists...as a group....are not founded in the time line realities...that enable things to run smoothly...that is an understatement....

How happy that you are building or gathering for the raised planters...and when you get the soil...you will be amazed at how easy it is to grow things...I have tried all kinds of soil over the years...and some...by the same company...what ever I put in it...dies...but then another brand...of the same company...nothing dies...everything lives...and flourishes....you can use that soil year after year...just adding some new along when you replant....and don't forget...when the blooms start to become kind of slow...add some feed...every so often when you water....

It will make you so happy....far more than you would think....you will be suprised....at how much...It is making me happy....just thinking about you....being so happy....now I am laughing....outloud....

Mark N....

I didn't realize you were on the forum so...so...so very long ago....It is a wonderful thing...this place has helped us out for that many years....!...

It sounds like quite the project you have going...and will be wonderful when completed...I have faith you can meet your deadline...at a certain point...things roll along faster...as you near the goal...don't you think...?...but...then we can have a lot of mental plans...that our bodies are not 'on board' with...so take it easy and just go until....something in you says stop....I have a tendancy to push on...and then the recovery takes too long...as I really go down and out....

How was your Thanksgiving trip....did you fare well.....I seem to think you were worried about it a bit...

Burr....

Sounds like you are doing a project too.....good luck with it....I have a few projects I would love to tackle..but my lifting limit is too wussy...for anything major....

Well....my sleeping husband has risen....and my day is about to go to other's time schedules....so...Have a happy day...everyone....I hope good things happen to us all...and mostly....I hope we get to laugh so hard...our sides ache and we have tears running down our faces....the best kind of laughing....

Love...Love...Love...to each and every one of you.........

[Jo6]

my dear hummer it is good to have you back. Thank you for "defining the thread" because I tend to ramble on and on.......

My health seems to be declining by the day. Maybe I'll think happy thoughts and that will send me some relief.~~~~ It's good to have a place to come to and talk to wonderful friends and I don't even have to brush my hair!

I love you all, isn't that something, ......we can really have good fellowship with each other and never lay eyes on any of you. I would love to meet some of you. Who knows, maybe someday?

Well, enough rambling, back and all other ailments are screaming to lay down. I also wish you all a good day.

my love, Julia

[hummer]

Hello...Jo6...

Hey...I am writing back....sitting in my house jammies...my hair...wildly untamed...and I haven't even brushed my teeth..!

But...just as I write these words....I hear the early morning...lumbering shuffle of my...don't talk to me...I haven't had any....coffee yet...husband...

It is so hysterical....If I am in the kitchen when he comes growling in...he doesn't make a sound really...but I hear it just the same....bear growls...low rumbles......I tell him to go sit...in the darkened livingroom...the cave....and I will bring him his coffee...it is easier...than...cleaning the coffee stains from the carpet...as he seems unable....to not....leave a trail of coffee...dribbling from his wobbly cup...to his chair....

This hugely strong fellow...is incabable of holding...the cup of coffee...level...His morning brain...all strength...deserts him...he can't hold it level...it invariably starts tilting downwards...Once in frustration.....I made him scrub....the long trail of coffee spots on the carpet...down on his knees brush in hand...scrubbing the cleaner into the carpet...waiting...to vacumn it up...doing it over when it wasn't enough...and the very next morning...there he was...unable to hold his cup upright...."I" was the one who 'got it' then...He really isn't awake...

Even now....he just got his coffee...set it by his chair...and lumbered over to me...sitting at the computer...turned his back the the screen...so the light doesn't shine in his eyes...then he scoots over really close...so I can lay my body against him...and he lifts one hand...and kind of....DROPS...it...like a giant paw...over me...rubs my back...and pets my head....and I get to hug on him....all that silent grumbling loudly...going on....and then...THAT'S OVER....and he rumbles his way back to his chair....the morning ritual for...action...done....and he will sit...in the dark...and drink coffee for an hour....before his brain is okay for the day....

Me....my eyelids raise.....and BOING...I am awake...and ready to sing...leap...and fly....

He is lucky too....Jo6...for me having this computer....and all of you to talk to.....otherwise...I might be having to talk to HIM....!!!...oh the horrors....I am laughing....early on in our marriage....like day 1....he said to me...I don't talk in the mornings....you can ask me questions....but only if the answers...can be...yes or no....

You all know...how my fingers can flail...and my lingering on and on rambles....I will occasionally tell my husband...He has no idea....at the Blessings....of my restraint....sometimes when I talk....I know he isn't listening...and then he will look at me and smile....and say...."Chirp...chirp...chirp....my little bird."......

Well...that was my early moring...."Chirp Chirp Chirp".....off to fix his lunch.....

I will add...along with Jo6....more love....to all of you....have a good day....With LOTS of Laughter...too...

Blessings on us all.......

[alex44]

Thank you Hummer - i hope to have the super soil by Jan. - Today i realized what i am missing, besides living on the water (Boat - Small). is in my part of Arizona, A one Stoplight town that is similar to where I grew up, So I love it, Is the lack of TREES and their changing colors - The desert is beautiful. So are the mountains, Which are way old and will talk to you, if you know how to listen,which i know you do and so for all of nature for your wonderful words of knowledge. I still miss the trees. Hope this finds you well and as out of pain as possible.

Blessings
Alex44

[hummer]

Dear Alex44.....

You live on a boat...?...How did I never know this...I had a friend who lived on a sailboat...it was very interesting....His was on the Ocean....it was like living in a rock-a-bye lullabye....I loved it...it was as if his home was alive...how wonderful it felt...just the sounds...the lines clinking on the masts...and the smells...the Ocean...wet..water..smells...my hair and skin were so different...everything was elevated somehow...and then of course...you just hoisted sail...and were off.....no trecking through traffic...and covers...and...and...and....

My husband and I moved from a very verdant river valley....to a place that was 5 hours to the nearest town...in any direction...some directions it was many more hours than that...to the next site for humanity...and there were NO trees...for hundreds of miles....I remember we just kind of looked at each other...and said..."Where are the trees?"....and boy...were our eyes big....I remember I used to tell people that living there was like living on an island...only instead of being surrounded by water....you were surrounded by dirt....any time you left there...it wasn't a jaunt for fun....it was a real journey....and you had to prepare for any contingency that might arise....I will say...that if you were stopped on the side of the road....EVERYONE...if and when they came by...stopped to make sure you were okay....and You stopped too...if you saw a vehicle off the road..

It is weird to realize that people were so far and few between...and distances so vast...that breakdowns could just mean...death by the elements...and did...for a great many people...

Where I live now....I have huge trees in my yard...that were still hanging on to most of their leaves...but....from one day to the next...cold came...and now...no leaves on my trees...NONE...they are all a thick...fecund...carpet across my lawn....and over my plants...and cars...and steps...and..and..and....

I am leaving them there for a while...to incubate my winter grass...

It was so odd....the leaves were there one day...I stood under the trees...pointing my camera skyward...under their canopy...took photographs...of the designs they made in sillouette...against the evening sky....

The next morning...a hard frost...everything was ridgid and still....no breeze...but as the Sun reached the tree tops...the leaves began to fall...a steady falling....like snow coming down...it took me some moments to figure it out...it wasn't a breeze making them fall...it was from the Sun...thawing the frozen leaves...and the weight...of the movement of moisture...draining....was releasing them from the branches....

It was another ballet...slowly falling...in a twirling pirouette....thousands...upon thousands of dancers...silent...and yet not...for they would bump against each other...and there would be a small dry clack....there was a certain...rhythmic beat...of melody....all the different distances...East to West...ground to sky...from my ear...to where they touched...changing the tones...just that little bit...to make a tune...all its own...

Once again...Nature's Symphony...a slow tempo...steadily playing...for hours....until later in the day...a breeze blew...the dancers a more frentic pace...and added...dry scattering scurls of sound...and some whirling waves....of dancers overlapping their partners....fallinging into heaps...to once again scatter....at the whim of Nature's directing....

From one moment to the next...things change....a green and yellowing landscape turned mostly browns and shades of dulled flat Umber....the gloss mostly gone...until you see...the bits of color...peeking through...My Sweet Winter Garden...the surviors....the ones...that endure....the non defeated...their beauty more vibrant...because they can take it...when so many give way....

They are like us...we all shine...in our own way...in our individual worlds...because...we survive...what has happened to us...we may fall down...when hit by the frost of pain...dissapointments....and fears...but there is some lifeforce...we feed from...because we endure...and that is a shining beauty...we call our own...for we are the undeafeated...

We survive.....

Blessings on us all....strength...love...laughter...and may we always see...no matter how we look...our own great Beauty....