Scared - Cardiac

[alex44]

Alex44
Skypilot

[alex44]

I have come to terms with things - as a minister, I believe when Spirit calls you home - I am going. They will NOT crack my chest, they want to - but i said no. the lord will provide.
Alex44
skypilot
Spiritualist Minister

[alex44]

I want to thank EVERYONE for their Support.
A.

[Mark N]

Alex, I hope you are doing okay now. What did they find that they wanted to open up your chest? I went through that with my thoracic fusion and it wasn't any fun so I know why you didn't want them to do that. I hope the Spirit isn't wanting you yet but like you I am ready when God wants me and won't have any extra effort to keep me alive. Sorry I missed your message earlier as I haven't been able to be on the computer very much the past week or so. I will keep you in my prayers and mind as you go through this and hope for the best for you and your SO.

[Kathi49]

Alex, you supported me when my mother went through this. Now it is my turn. I am not totally familiar with ALL of your medical conditions and like Mark, I would like to know what they found also. Anyway, as far as the cracking open of the chest, it really isn't all that painful. My mother's surgeon told her this and I found it hard to believe at the time. But she never really complained about any pain afterwards nor during rehab. The things he did emphasize was loss of appetite and weakness. And sure enough she lost a lot of weight and went through some other things as well that were not related to her heart. Anyway, she has long since healed and is doing very well for 85 years old. I understand your fear it would scare me too as it did with my Mom. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do. I just wanted to relay the pain aspect of it.

[alex44]

Thank You for your wonerful reply's. Medicine is my Avocation and I have spent Literally years studing it - it is fascinating - except when it happens to you. Basically, from the echo, I could see one Heart valve fluttering and not closing properly - thereby the doc wanting to replace it, along with an angioplasty - I could see the crud in my arteries. bottom line - He wants an angio-plasty ( i am SOMEWHAT ok with that - and then a valve replacement. That has me scared S-------. I do not scare easily but this one has me going I already deal with the Dragon (Hep C.) due to a blood transfusion, Chronic pain - a goodly dose of Ms-Contin, And IR for breakthru. I have been dealing with a lot of this for over 20 years and I am tired. I have tried 10 A/D's - none work w/O Severe side effects. The only thing that does work, I am not allowed, even though it is LEGAL in my state.
(MMJ) - I did it as a teenager and was suffering from more then just teen age angst - But I will Not break my contract - I always come up clean because I just say NO. He is also talking about roto-routering my legs because he does not like the circulation but I have three more tests, He is scared to put me on a treadmill but evidently they can do a Nuclear scan and stimulate my heart to see what happens. Please know, this is the first time I have given my whole history or at least most of it - I am tired - having been in the hospital too many times, and the state of P.M. today - As I have said before, I am a ordained Spiritual Minister and I am praying to Spirit for an answer. I will not leave my S/O behind but to say I am scared is an understatement. Thank you Mark & Kathy You have given much to pray and think on.
Blessing and happy Holidays
Alex44
Skypilot

PS - Kathy - I belive it was you that was going to have your mom? move in? I am sorry I have been so wrapped up in myself that I forgot to ask in my Post. I truely pray that everything went well and she is comfortable. If I am mistaken about the move, forgive me, my memory is also not so great. Have a happy holiday all.
Blessings
A.

[Diandra]

Alex,
I think you are smart to pay attention to your fear. It sounds like you strongly don't want to have surgery, so don't but please Alex, get the results of your latest test, don't interpret the results yourself.

My Mom had the nuclear scan last year because they did not think she should do the treadmill stress test and they also told her she should have heart valve surgery and like you, she said NO....she felt, I am 89 yrs old and way to old to have surgery. She also said she is ready to go whenever the time comes.

I also want to tell you that my father, for decades before he passed, was on Coumadin for A-Fib. The doc said he HAD to be on Coumadin. Because of cancer complications and other things, we took him off the coumadin because they would not come take his blood for testing but insisted we put him in the car and take him for a blood test each week. Well, they said he would throw a clot and die from that quickly. He was off Coumadin for months, he was FINE. A friends Mom is in an Alzheimers unit and the tests for Coumadin caused her enormous anxiety so 2 years ago they also made the decision to take their Mom off Coumadin and again, she is fine.

Alex, I hope, by example, these decisions give you hope and encouragement that making your own, gut feeling decision is what you need to do for yourself. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
Take care, Diandra

p.s. Kathy may have a Mom who is moving in but I also was in the process of moving my Mom into an apt we built but we had contractor issues and leaking plumbing and it is at a standstill until sorted out. Mom is living with my oldest brother right now.

[alex44]

Diandra - Thank you for the reply. I fully intend on getting the tests done and getting my results as I am NOT a doctor. I am sorry to hear you are having problems with your contractor - Good help is hard to find these days - sigh. These days, I always check with the BBB, check to make sure they are licenced and have pulled the proper permits. How is you Mom, I fell bad she is having to bounce around, Moving is trumatic enough W/O having to stay in several digfferant places. Again, thank you for the reply, Give my best to your mom, I will pray for her, and I hope YOU are doing O.K. as I know this is probobly streessing you out. From your previous posts, You sound like a strong person - So I have confidence you can handle it. Have a happy holiday and blessings to you and yours.
Alex44
Skypilot

[Kathi49]

You are welcome Alex. I don't know if I helped that much and I wouldn't say she sailed it through it but she did well considering her age. I do know she never really complained of much pain. Again, it was other issues not related to heart. Oh, and I didn't want to detract from your thread. But about my Mom moving in. :) My husband is getting ready to retire at the end of the month. We would like to put our house on the market and either build or go to an existing condo. My husband, bless his heart, asked my mom if she would like to live with us as she is alone in the condo she has. So, she is thrilled and we are happy. It is nice and a good thing to all be together as we can all look out for one another. But this is going to take some time. :) Diandra, sorry to hear about the troubles. But again, I think it is nice to have our mothers with us. The way I look at it is this. It is my turn now. :) Okay, Alex, best wishes with whatever you decide to to. But have a good talk with your doc about your fears and perhaps he can put your mind more at ease.

[alex44]

Thank all of you who have given me such great advice. Kathy, Your husband sounds like a real gem - I am glad your Mom is thrilled, It gets harder as we age to adjust to change so I am happy for you. Diandra, bless you for taking such good care of your mom. Both you and cathy and S/O's sound like angels to me. I spoke to my primary today and from what she said, I may not need Open heart surgery - they evidently have robots now that can do a lot of procedures, BUT i am going to have all the tests, listen to the Doctor, then I will pray and listen to my heart (no pun intended) as no way i could leave Cindy behind - I am still very scared but prayer and meditation have helped greatly. I hope everyone here at braintalk in all forums has a happy holiday.
Thank Ya'll
Blessings
Alex44
Skypilot

[Mark N]

Alex, it is good to read the info others have given you from their experiences as make serious health decisions isn't easy and hearing other's experience helps. I understand how you feel as I have gone through enough surgeries and recoveries I don't want to do it any more but I also wouldn't want to leave my wife alone too early. I have talked to my fmily about my approach and this is what I have come up with; I won't go through any severe effort to save my life especially with a low % that it would work. Along with that brings up that I will go through medical procedures that have a high chance of working so that my family doesn't have to deal with my death before I really have no options. Hearing that they can do the work without open heart surgery is good news and from my perspective changes the prospects that you face. I pray that you have good options and you are able to improve your circulator system enough to extend your life for a number of years.

[Eva 14]

Alex, I hope and pray that you are doing okay now. I totally respect and understand your decision re: treatment, whatever it turns out to be.

I can relate because four years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer at a relatively young age. The doctors were so aggressive: They wanted me to have a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation, the works! When I told them I didn't want to do that, they told me "it's either the 'treatment' or you'll die of cancer!" My God, did that ever freak me out!

I listened to my mind and body, and also did TONS of research into breast cancer. I consented to a lumpectomy, but refused the mastectomy. I also refused both chemo AND radiation. 4 years ago when I refused their treatment, I had no idea if I'd live or die. A few people in my life thought I was pretty crazy to be refusing the "treatment", but it's MY BODY, not their BODY.

Four years later, I don't doubt for a minute that I made the right decision for ME. I'm still totally healthy (except for my migraines, which are NOT related to my breast cancer diagnosis). The doctors MAY have misdiagnosed me (it DOES happen). Also, through my extensive research I became aware that there ARE some breast cancers that will NEVER spread, and I think that's what I may have had. Anyway, I DID allow them to cut the lump out, which seems to have been sufficient treatment.

I don't know much about heart problems, but read and study all you can. Try to find a good doctor whom you really trust who will answer your questions so that you can make an informed decision re: whether or not to have the heart surgery. I know how scary surgery is----going through that lumpectomy and then waiting for the pathology reports was sheer hell.

Alex, best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do. Keep us updated! I'll be saying a prayer for you that all will go well. Happy Holidays!

Eva

[Mark N]

Eva, like you I would do the research and make the best choice. I believe we have to balance out the pain we go through and the rare chance it will improve with the pain and discomfort of the treatment we would need based on the diagnosis we get. I have talked it over with my family and even though they don't agree with my choice, if I have to ever make it, they say they will respect it. I explained that it was going to be based on the chances of recovery from whatever disease & treatment compared to the life I would have with continuing pain and the treatment. It isn't an easy choice you made or than any of us will have to make but one that I have thought through and am comfortable with making.

Alex, I hope you are doing okay and getting more info for your situation.