Befriending Someone at a Pharmacy?

[Eva 14]

I thought I'd ask for some advice and opinions regarding this issue---thanks!

I recently went to my indy pharmacy to pick up a prescription. There was one other woman who was also waiting for a script to be filled, and we got to talking. She told me that she was in the process of having all of her prescriptions transferred from "W" chain pharmacy to this indy, and I told her I could definitely relate to her problems with "W" chain pharmacy. We talked and it was nice to have someone to talk to who's going through the same sorts of troubles that I'm going through with pharmacies and chronic pain.

She was about 45 years old and told me she was a long-time chronic pain sufferer. She was even telling me exactly how many mgs. of morphine she takes daily, as well as her other meds. I finally revealed to her that I also am a CP sufferer, but I didn't tell her the names of any of the meds that I was on. She told me she's in the process of trying to get disability, etc. She was really friendly and nice, and I kind of wish that I'd given her my name and phone number. (CP can be a lonely thing, and not many people understand it).

But I once read on this forum that it's a bad idea to ever tell anyone that you are taking C-II narcotics (unless it's family and long-term friends whom you really trust). Even though I did NOT reveal to this woman that I'm taking opiates, I DID reveal that I had chronic pain AND I was at a "specialty indy pharmacy", so I'm sure most people could put two and two together.

I don't know if I'm being overly cautious?

A couple of MY concerns were:

1. This woman was NEW to the pharmacy, so how could I really trust her, when even the pharmacy probably doesn't know or trust her yet? (She spoke to the staff and pharmacist a few times about how her prescriptions needed to be transferred RIGHT AWAY because she was out of one of her meds. The med in question was only Prozac, but still. I never understand why people wait till the last minute to fill a script, but if she really was transferring from another pharmacy, I suppose there could be delays.

2. She told me that she was on 90 mg. of morphine per day. I have absolutely NO problem with that, IF indeed she's a legitimate CP patient. But I suppose you never know who might be an addict, much as I hate to even use that word. IF I became her "friend" and she knew that there were narcotics at my house, that could potentially be a bad situation.

As I said goodbye, she asked me if she could take a picture of me, because she liked my outfit. I said okay---why not?---and posed for a pic. I (kind of) wanted to give her my email address, but my concerns about narcotics and privacy led me to just walk away.

Do you think I did the right thing, or am I being OVERLY CAUTIOUS?

My CP is pretty bad, and it's sad to say that I rarely get out of the house other than to go to doctor's appointments and the pharmacy. I amost feel that may be my only place to meet new friends.

On the other hand, I've read far too many stories of drug addicts. I know that IF someone has a drug problem, they likely will think nothing of STEALING MEDS from even their BEST FRIEND.

What would you have done in the above scenario? Would you take a chance and give out personal info to someone you met at a pharmacy? Or would you be cautious and NEVER give out personal info to someone you met at a pharmacy, for fear that the person may be an addict who is looking for "additional" sources of meds?

Thanks for any advice or opinions!

Eva

[Mike Weins]

Hello Eva

I for one think you handled the situation pretty well. It is my opinion that the more cautious you are about your personal info the better off you are. I would not reveal that I was on any narcotics or pass along my phone number either. I do have one or two emails that I give out to someone I just met if I want to keep in touch. Perhaps if you see her again you can pass along an email address, or tell her about BT and if she registers she can pm you, or send an email through our system (which hides your email address unless you reply directly to the person).

There are plenty of free email providers, perhaps you might consider creating one just for "new" people that you meet.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Eva))))))

My motto is "Trust Your Gut" in just about everything. Your gut told you not to reveal your meds to this woman. I agree with your gut.

Regardless of where you might meet a new person, it's probably a good idea to always play it close to the vest with respect to revealing personal information to them. Perhaps you might encounter this person again at the pharmacy or elsewhere, and with each meeting you might be able to gradually discern whether she's a scam artist or a sincerely nice person.

What if she was scamming you? A good way to do that is to initiate a conversation, in which she reveals everything about herself to you, thereby encouraging you to feel like you can do the same. She could be telling you her private information as a means of gaining your trust. It is wise to err on the side of caution.

Her request to take a picture of you, because she liked your outfit, sounds a bit odd to me. If a stranger asked me that, I would say, "Thank you, but no. I don't like having my picture taken." You just never know what someone might do with that photo.

It's sad that in today's world, we have to treat every stranger as a suspect, but it is safest to do so. She may be a lovely person, and you may bump into her again, which will give you the opportunity of sussing her out. If I were you, I wouldn't share anything with her, or any other stranger, until I had met that person a few times and engaged in conversation. Take time to get to know a person, so that either a friendship can develop, or sinister motives can be uncovered.

Love & Light,

Rose

[Pharmacist.steve]

You could have used "third person" when talking to her... "I have a friend" .. that is chronic pain pt... I can relate to your problems because I know how many problems he/she has.. People who abuse drugs.. tend to be very chatty... trying to distract those around them to what is really going on... or their real intent... it is best to be skeptical... with such encounters...

[Mark N]

Eva, on of the problems with CP is it is lonely and we don't associate with a lot of people so you can be more likely to give out too much personal info. As Rose pointed out the lady may have given out so much personal info because is was hoping you would do the same and she would gain info on you that would help her steal your identity or your medication. It isn't easy but the best advice, I think you handle it well, is to go slowly until you have seen her often enough to know her better. Maybe she is just very lonely and that is why she blurted out all her personal info but until you get to know her better it is best to go slow. Our society seems to be a hurry up society where we have to make friends fast and give out all kinds of personal info IE FaceBook instead of the communities that grew up with each other and knew each other before sharing personal info. I like Steve's idea about inviting her to join here and us PMs to get to know each other in between pharmacy visits.

[alex44]

Good job, Eva. as others have noted, identity theft can be a very bad thing ( Mine was stolen and I had to talk to the FBI) - Pictures of me - NO - unless I know you very well. Good job on not giving out info on yourself. Hope all is well with you.
Blessings
Alex44
Skypilot

[Eva 14]

Thanks so much for your replies and advice!

It did seem odd that this woman revealed so much about her meds, her insurance problems, etc. I would NEVER be that open about personal info with someone I'd just met. I think I did the right thing by walking away.

Also, her request to take a picture of me struck me as odd. I did say "okay" and let her take a photo. She did this just as I was leaving, so I didn't have much time to think about it. Right after I left, I thought about the fact that there IS such a thing as "facial recognition technology", but hopefully I'm just being paranoid. I figure that anyone can steal someone's photo off of Facebook or other sites. Hopefully she can't steal my identity with just a photo.

Interesting to know that people who abuse drugs can become very "chatty" because that's definitely what this woman was. And it would make perfect sense for a drug abuser to try to befriend people in pharmacies. The clerk called out my name in front of the woman, but hopefully that's not sufficient info for identity theft. They have to call out your name in pharmacies if you're waiting for your meds to be filled.

Yes, unfortunately in this world we have to be VERY cautious about whom we trust. Thanks for the advice; now I know I did the right thing by walking away.

Best Wishes,
Eva

[Diandra]

Eva,
I agree you handled it well and Rose was right to say trust your gut. Like Mike, I keep a spare email address for situations where I don't want to give out my main email address. The picture taking would have spooked me too, most people would have said, "I like your dress, where did you get it?." On the other hand, all of this could have been purely innocent, a friendly person who really did like your look outfit.

I understand the loneliness...do you have the energy to seek out support groups for others with CP? The therapist I see is in a group of therapists and they run various support groups, one of which is for CP. I have not gone yet as I am short on energy lately and just getting to the therapist is an effort but best to make friends in a place like once trust has been established you slowly and comfortably form friendship.
Take care, Diandra