What Next?

[alex44]

Hi All - Have not posted in awhile - too much too quick going on but always looking for answers. I have been here a looong time, . I am currently suffering from P.N. in my feet, Numb or hurting, Shingles in front of my heart and too the rear on my back, Hurts like the dickens, May go to E-Room tomorrow (UGH I HATE HOSTITALS - esp. since the local one is nicknamed the Morgue, you check in but not out)) but have to go Monday for a retinal bleed) at a VA hospital that is excellent so we shall see. Just diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and am in Chronic pain ant my doctor says I can't have my Phyicaitric meds and pain meds. Go Figure. (the VA of Course) Wondering if there is a connection here as I am in serious pain, the last drop in (Pain Meds) about killed me and then the shingles came along with the retina thing, where does it stop? Add that to depression and the holidays, Yes I get to see a shrink but that is every 3 months - the Lex-pro seems to be helping) am going to get a second opinion since I have Medicaid as well as a second on the diabetes treatment - the VA is doing NOTHING except to give me Sagoplastin(SP) no blood glucose meter ("we don't do that except for people on insulin" - what BS - the literature for the med clearly say to monitor you Blood Glucose) so we shall see. never checked my feet either, My Mom had diabetes and I know well the consequences of not treating it. She is only a RNP - I feel that I deserve REAL DOCTOR - nothing against RNP's's but I feel she is out of her league with both my Pain Management and my Diabetes. Anyway, a full plate, I will survive, the lord will take care of me as well as the doc's and I have a strong will to live but I will NOT GO Quietly into the Night - Look it up as I Will Rage, Rage into the night but also to get Proper medical care that I have earned. Hope everyone is having a nice Holiday Season and is in the best health they can be. We ALL do indeed have much to be thankful for, even though we all have our Maladies.
Aless 44 (AkA Skypilot Steve)

[Lil E]

Hey Steve,
Nice to see you here, I check once in a while. Definitely get another opinion, most docs give meters for free and you can get one for around $14 at a drug store. What gets expensive are the testing strips. I get mine from Amazon it's a lot cheaper, lancets too. I actually have a zillion lancets that a friend gave me, I use the tiny ones now, I can send them to you if you want. I may also have a meter, I'll look. PM me if you want them. You have to keep on them to get the treatment you need or they will just let you die. I have recovered from my disc surgery and the reconstruction of my thumb joint, I also found a good pain doc so things are finally getting somewhat better. It's always something it seems. We're still looking for a place to move and have considered Arizona and New Mexico in the lower altitudes, we'll see how that goes. Hope things get better for you, keep up the fight.

Pat

[alex44]

ask and thou shall receive - I had to ask what's next - I found out and it isn't pretty - I crashed and burned and am so far of the reservation I don't know what I will do as I am in the weeds.. Between a bad fall, Shingles Diabetes and a fall from grace (slip), blowing up my support network, I am aware of the reasons, a lot of it the holidays. I will salvage things, I will get better, AFTER the holidays. I am very bitter right now, but this too will pass as hope springs eternal. Please pray for me, I need all the help I can get right now.
Blessings to all - enjoy the holidays. I apologize about the bummer post but I am just being real
Blessings
Alex44 (aka) Skypilot Steve

[jingle]

- Wishing you the best (((alex44)))

[stillstANNding]

Prayer said for you, Alex.

ANN

[houghchrst]

Hi Alex, I can tell by your post that you are struggling. With a lot of things. I hope you are using your faith to get through. It has always been strong in you. One wonders why, what is the point, where does it end, where do I get help? It is painfully frustrating. The government feels that their hands are tied when it comes to meds and the abuse of them, they don't know how to fix it so those of us who really need help suffer dearly. As for your RPN, your doctor may be having her treat you because he doesn't really want to deal with it. Just trying to keep you pacified by 'treating' you. The only thing my primary does any more is ship me out to someone else and keep my meds refilled. My clinic is state run and does the bare minimum. I want to try to find a doctor in private practice that accepts medicaid. I have a terrible HMO and am considering switching. Enough about me. I hope you find a moment here and there of peace and light over the next few days. Hang on to those moments as they are so very important and when gathered together they shine enough to keep on moving. (((((((HUGS))))))) for you friend.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

As you can see, you are not alone. We are all praying for you and sending you healing energy. Here is a Unity prayer, which has helped me through difficult times:

The Light of God surrounds you
The Love of God enfolds you
The power of God protects you
The presence of God watches over you
Wherever you are, God is!

Love & Light,



Rose

[alex44]

Thank All of you for your prayers. I am sitting here alone, on christmas Eve, Which sucks. I have not heard from anyone, although my phone number constantly changes, but then again, most people know where I live and company would hae been nice. I am seriously considering going back to Florida. I Don't know. I am reading my Bible to keep the faith. which is strong, I am a survivor, one slip in thirty years, well, stuff happens. again, thank ALL of you for your prayers and hoping all of you have a happy holiday. It made me very sad today to have to cancel a roomate arrangement)left me crying) But lifestyles were too different and I will Not put myself in harms way. God Bless All/
Alex44
AKA Skypilot Steve

[stillstANNding]

Good that you did not put yourselve in harms way, Alex. You made a good decision.

Merry Christmas.
ANN

[alex44]

THANK ALL of you good people who respondwd to my cry for help. I USED to run with a fast crowd - NO more - I was sorely tempted tonite - With a lot of silent prayer - I DID NOT slip into old ways and and I have this group and the LORD to thank for that. Now that Christmas is over, which I spent in prayer and thankfullness; I am concentrating on improving my life - I may yet move back to florida if I do not find new friends that do not do things that i don:t/Won't do this is a small town, I can deal with that, I can't deal with a lot of the BS going on. I have my faith; just unsure if that is enough and that is what worries me. I have a friend,, who I am trying to stop, she is free falling right now, who told me the LORD is challenging me right now. she is right but what do I do for Her? She is a grown Women, but I am hating life because the road she is on will only lead to ruin and being a close friend, it is breaking my heart. I do not judge, that is not my place. all I can do is be there for her and pray and counsel her when she is open to it. Again, thank ya'll for the prayers and encouragement.
Alex44
AKA Steve=Skypilot
PS Rose - I found your prayer very inspiring Hope you and your family are doing well - Blessed Be S.
Chris = Thank you
Ann Thank you for the prayers and yes I will stay strong - tonite was challenging but I stayed strong - thanks in large part to this forum
Lil E - thank You for the advise = Blessed Be for your thoughts and good wishes and prayers
everyone else =Blessed be - Hope everyone is doing well

[alex44]

I don't know if this is the right forum but I do know this is where my friends are. Hy Support network is crumbling and I don't know what to do. The closest person I know and who has helped tremendously in the past has gotten involved with a younger man 54/27 and he is feeding her POISEN (street drugs and she is so wrapped up with him I am scared for her I am still in her life but think I need to back off, I have tried talking to her but I have the feeling that it is going in one ear and out the other. and no, I have no feelings for(romantically) her only love for a really great friend who has been there for me and still is but I don't want her to ruin her life. I had my own struggles, I put ALL the BS down thirty-forty years ago and will not endanger that 1 slip was enough to remind me what I have to lose - therefore I do not hang out with her when he is around - what do I do?

[houghchrst]

Oh Alex, how heartbreaking, even worse having been there and knowing what waits for your friend. You must love from afar. Let her know you are there for her but for your own self keep far away but you know all this. You have a headstart. You've been there done that so have a measure of protection. You are at a vulnerable time right now so wrap yourself in light and love and prayers. Be a friend but from a distance, it is hard. She is going to need you. Be strong. Prayers for you both.

[alex44]

Chris = thank You = She is not answering phone calls or texts - supposed to be a new years eve party this evening - HOPE to see her then - Yes I will always be at a distance for now - Yes, Been there many (30+ years ago, been right since, Indeed, pray for me, I will not follow her down that road, I will just simply be here for her. Hope this finds you better and in good spirits,
Happy new year
Alex44 AKA Skypilot Steve
And yes, I do love her very much as a FRIEND
S.