I am about ta go ape poop

[houghchrst]

Oooh I am so mad I am about to start a family war. Jo yer right FB and family don't mix.

Now to the tirade.

Went to the yearly New Year's party at the princess's house last night and my baby bro was there who I have not seen in over a year because when my mom died and I got the house he was flaming I guess. I know he couldn't possibly have thought that my mom wanted he and his family to move in here. If so he was delusional. Anyway he hasn't been speaking to me but he was there and was well into his cups and was moved to express some kind of reaction similar to brotherly love though I could tell he was unsure of how he felt and how I would react. I behaved and he behaved and all was happy until we went to the bar for last call for a friend's birthday.

I of course was DD because I don't drink so took three drunk people including Princess. Couldn't get brother to leave. He kept trying to hang on the hoochies. Think he was thinking he would get lucky and when finally pressed he said he had a ride. Mind you all the cab rides were free last night from the bars.

This morning I get up and CJ is getting ready to leave to go get my brother and take him back down to the bar and that stretch of road to look for his wallet! He was walking home and two women stopped and asked him if he wanted a ride and he said sure and when they asked him if he had any money the dumbarse got out his wallet whereby causing the girl to promptly smack his hand and knock the wallet out of it and she grabbed and jumped back in and they drove away. Then a couple minutes later, while he is waiting for the police they drove back by him. So he was hoping maybe his wallet was in that area somewhere. The hoochie he was trying to hang on most likely took a $100 bill off of him. Idiot.

So today on FB I see my nephew post that my brother was abandoned at the bar by friends and got mugged on the way home. So I let him know he wasn't abandoned he just chose not to leave. No details nothing. My brother chimes in that he is okay and not to stress over it and I told him I was sorry it happened and was glad he was okay. That was to be the end of it because I can't stand people who air dirty laundry on FB but I tell ya I just became one of them.

His woman.....ugh....anyway she comes on and says that he will say anything when he is drunk and I should know that cause he is my brother. Well I tell ya..........I cannot tolerate this woman and I have spent years putting up with her, making nice for the family. The entire family has put up with her. She is a horrible mother, she lies, she makes commitments she has never kept, she is a hypochondriac to the 'nth degree and you can bet that if you got something she has it worse or has had it. Now supposedly she has Leukemia and was diagnosed at the beginning of the year. My brother and her split up around then and though they live in the same house he is planning on moving soon. Supposedly she has decided to not do chemotherapy and I haven't heard what her reasoning is but I think she is hoping that refusing to do chemo will get him to stay.

I responded to her post and basically told her that my brother is a grown man, I refuse to be responsible for another drunk ever again, I did it for years and that quite frankly last I knew it was none of her business. Then I posted an apology for my nephew for his post getting hijacked.

The top of my head feels real heavy and hot. I think I may just unload on this broad and give her a piece of my mind. What little I have left. I am furious. I don't think my brother wanted the facts to come out about what really happened and I never mentioned the hoochies so he is safe there but I will put her in her place .

rant rant rave rave

[Porkette]

Hi Christina,

I'm sorry to hear that you and your brother are having family problems. Just like you I am dead set against drinking and my brothers wife isn't easy to get along with. Tell your brother to stay away from the alcohol and it might help him
because often a person will get a violent temper after drinking.

In regards to your families house being left to you. My family wanted to leave half of their home to me and half of it to my brother but after I saw what kind of attitude my brother had towards me I requested that I be taken out of my
parents will so there wouldn't be any arguing between my brother and myself.
You did the right thing apologizing to your family and trying to talk to your brother but often pride gets in a persons way and they don't want to face up to what they have done. I look at things this way: "We come into the world
with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing." I guess I'm just not a materilistic person and that bothers some of my family.
Tell your brother that to much drinking can lead into epilepsy and I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone. Also remember to tell him: "The worst heart disease is a heart that doesn't love."

My prayers are with you and your family that all goes well. Wishing all of You nothing but the best and May God Bless each and everyone of you!

Sue

[clouds z]

dont talk to strangers

alone and drinking? how dumb

he also didnt explain on facebook?its best to avoid relatives at times

[tic chick]

(((chris))),

i can see the steam coming out of your ears from here .

when you deal with idiots you sink to their level and you get upset doing it.

your equanimity gets shot. stress raises the level of cortisol in your blood which causes inflammation and....pain. i know you don't need anymore of that.

serenity prayer.jpg
jeannie

[houghchrst]

well by golly Jeannie you weren't trying to tell me something were you lolol. Yes steam, all betta now. She has opted to keep her mouth shut after I popped her bubble and I am quite satisfied. Oooh I am not a vindictive woman but she is the only who gets me going like that. She spent years lying to my mother and to my brother and I kept my mouth shut for over 15yrs. I have no ties to this woman and quite frankly besides her kids feelings I have no qualms about telling her how I feel. My brother has no idea how many lies she told my mom, how many broken promises she made, how many times she 'borrowed' money, on and on. Mom always kept it to herself and never told my brother about the money or her not showing as promised to do this or that because she considered it between the two of them, well.....and me, and didn't want to stress my brother out even more than he already was. Mom is gone and I have no such reservations now that they are no longer together.

So today I feel better lolol. Been wanting to set her down for years. One down and ........NEXT

Thank you Sue. My mother died a terrible death last year from alcoholism. We all saw it. Alcoholism runs in the family and while I got sober the other two out of three brothers didn't. One is hopelessly lost but the baby bro has always gone through phases where he drinks for weeks then something stupid happens to him and he backs off and keeps it casual or to a weekend every now and then. He can quit and said as much yesterday after all that happened to him. When my mom died last year he started drinking heavy again then he and his girl broke up, then his girl gets diagnosed with Leukemia which brings on the guilt so for him it has been one long downward spiral. I get it. I only hope that he meant it.

We all have always been close but my mother passing and my moving in created a rift. My mid brother is an alcoholic and lived here with my mother. As far as I am concerned he killed her. I have never said that to another and I know it is not a fair accusation but my mother was pretty much bed ridden and he stole from her and bought he and her booze cause he figured as long as she had booze she wouldn't be mad at him for stealing money and food. She supported him to keep him from living on the streets and because when he was here he kept the house running. At least those things he didn't ruin or throw out, then when I moved in he was still here but understood that when his inheritance came in he was to move out. My mom left the house to all 4 of us kids with the understanding that I was to move in. It was always that way even before she actually inherited the house. I told her to make it legal but she didn't. I think she thought I would take care of him even though I once told her not long ago that I would not take care of him, he is a grown man but I made sure that he had smokes and food from April until his inheritance at the end of October. He is 42 going on 14. He didn't move out but went back and forth from his whack job girlfriend's house who is about 2 miles from here from the time he got his money at the end of Oct 2010 until it ran out just after Christmas a couple months later.

Thought he was coming back whenever he wanted and stayed drunk and stole from us for a couple weeks but we padlocked the fridge and had to keep it that way even when we were here, and kept his bedroom window locked he got the hint and left. Came back twice hammered and tried to stay but when he realized he was getting nothing from us he left. Has popped in two other times to get some of his things and tell me he hasn't been here cause he is afraid of me. Good as far as I am concerned. He so much as uses my toilet paper without permission I will file theft charges. He has stole from the entire family since he was small. From what I gather through the grapevine on any given day his girl kicks him out and he has to find a place to stay. It has been about a year since he has spent the night here and I plan to empty his room and move my little guy in like it was meant to be here soon. His stuff can go in the garage with all the stuff he inherited from my mom.

Eeee gads I have gone on and on, I am sorry and I am sure it is all here at BT in bits and pieces and many are familiar with my rants lol.

[Buttons2]

Chris,unfortunately I've come to realize just about every family has at least one drunk. you needed to vent! it's too bad peole use facebook to tell their lies. get the room cleared out,move Shortcake in,then let go (as much as possible). you're not responsible for your brother afterall. and the GF might be a total creep but ask yourself who else would put up with him? as you know I speak from experience.

best to break the ties with toxic family members. otherwise they control us forever eh?

((((hugs)))) Pati

[Porkette]

Hi Chris,

I'm glad to see you vent and get all of this off your shoulders, it's never good to keep things (feelings) locked up inside of a person because then they might reach a point when they get upset and explode. I have 2 cousins that were killed by
drunk drivers and my father was a heavy drinker which is one reason why I can't stand alcohol. I agree with Buttons you need to vent. Give it time and let your brother come to you and show you that he loves you. Don't let his problems effect
you and your life! I wish you only the best in life and May God Bless You!

Sue

[Jo6]

My dearest sneezie, will you clean out you PM mailbox so mine will go thru? lol What a shock when my little words refused to get to you. lol

Now, You are doing good, let it all just come out and get to feeling better. I understand about FB and now I have some news from FB, and don't know how to handle it. Oh well, I'll think on it when I get to Tara, but don't you go running off to Tara without me. all my love, Scarlet

[houghchrst]

Well bashful I am going to assume you are speaking to me lolol and it is supposed to say queenie? I tried to find a dwarf name that wouldn't be insulting lolol. Or do I get a new name!!??

Just in case I shall do so. I know it needs a good cleaning out but I have my best messages in there and I hate to get rid of them lol. If you aren't talking to me then I will have a few less messages to clean out later.

Sorry guys, don't know where the over information about my other brother came from, guess it has been built up. Thought I was doing well ignoring that door at the end of the hall. Guess the holidays are over and it has been at the front of my awareness since I wanted to start after them. I just feel so guilty and mad at the same time.

[houghchrst]

Oh yes and she deleted her post and I have deleted all of mine. So now my son's chime in looks a bit out of place.

[Jo6]

OK lilqueenie, I'm talking to you. I couldn't think of another dwarf's name except dopey and that would be me. Maybe there isn't one named dopey. I'm just that though after I checked MY email and had some emails from FB!!

What I had to say will keep until morning. Even then it wouldn't hurt if it didn't go thru at all. I forgot what I wrote. See, I'm dopey and sleepy so I'm going to bed to get some shut eye, I hope!!

Honey, you don't worry about letting your feeling out. They will poison you if held in long enough and you were due. You are a good person and too good to some, but you go right on doing good. I admire you for that.

my love to lil'queenie so she'll know it's for her big queenie

[houghchrst]

LOL Jo I had to look them up, I knew there had to be something in there besides dopey and grumpy. I'll still be here in the mornin'.

[LeoX3]

You go, Chris!

I can sympathize. As y'all know, my wise mama lives with me, but wise mama is an alcoholic, and a couple weeks ago she fell off the wagon, down all twelve steps, pick a metaphor. And her being boozy caused me to fall---reinjuring my pelvis, b/c oh yeah, I so need that, ack!!!---and she's now bein gall sober again.... and of course the one therapist I see was all snarky with me about the whole "you can' thave a drunk in your house, you can't fall, you're undoing my work" and like you, I swore my head was gonna pop if I didn't say something. I looked at that therapist and I said in my best PO'd lion way, "It wasn't MY idea to fall, and I am NOT to blame for my mom going back on the booze, and I am the one doing the work here, not you!" I was so mad I was shaking! DH got mad, too, he found her boss and got her in such trouble.... And we don't even have FB to contend with!

Point being, yeah, when someone in the famliy has an issue of any kind, there's always *someone* who thinks the rest of the family ought to wave the magic Fix-It wand. If only we had one!

Anyway, hugs, and I love your rants, you say it like you see it!

[Buttons2]

Chris, i cannot imagine what you feel guilty about.......but I urge you to STOP that negative thinking right this minute! go take a good look @ Shortcake. he's the only one you are responsible for! and he deserves to have a room doesn't he?doubtful any of the brother's are wasting one second feeling guilty about using mom,using you,all the lies,ad naseum.

Leo,you do manage to meet up with some strange medical pro's eh? I've wondered for years where they learn their manners. this is the year you will HEAL & look back on all this pain with scorn (and knowing you probably a big dose of humor too).