Hello. My name is patty and I don't get to this site as often as I should, I forget what a good resource it is, It is currently 4 am where I live(LI NY) and I am up since I don't sleep very well. I have schizo affective disorder bipolar type, and some autoimmune issues(lupus, hypothyroid colitis..)and have been experiencing low back pain sciatica and general muscle pain and fatigue, the the physical stuff is improving.I recently was in the hospital to change my psych meds, am now on depakote and abilify, taken off seroquel, I haven't been sleeping well since( body misses the seroquel) been tapering off it since the hospital( right after the hurricane I was admitted.)I have some symptoms returning/getting worse;I took 50 mg of seroquel a little while ago hoping that I can go back to sleep.I have been attending AA meetings regularly for more than two years(will have two years in march) I feel that people don't get that my symptoms are psychiatric and are always trying to "fix" me. was asked tonight after a meeting I don't usually go to if i was high......have been extremely anxious emotionally on a roller coaster,am experiencing some paranoia.hospital not an option at this point, I have two small children whose lives are disrupted every time i go in and I am sure this can be addressed outpatient. I feel very alone, even with numbers of those in AA very few seem to get where I am coming from.I am getting frustrated. Have a great sponser, but she too even as a nurse doesn't always get the symptoms. I still go through periodsof questioning am I really an alcoholic? is this all in my head? but then I look at my patterns of behavior and see my addictive nature.I sometimes wonder if I will ever be whole.....
patty
patty
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