Getting old ........ I'm turning 80 in a couple days. I've already gotten old.
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ok hi how are u?Comment
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Thank you clouds :)
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Old? 80 isn't old! it's just a number like a lot of other numbers.SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) 12/20 - 3/19/24.Comment
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Hey all, figured I was due for another check in. The last ten weeks have been hell LOL. Last time I was here I had thought that the bulk of my withdrawals from the Klonopin were gone. Sadly I was wrong. I called my primary and she put me on a different benzo so that I can titrate down properly. Unfortunately, that didn't last long because about four days in I noticed I was getting irritable and then two days after that the horrible depression started in and that is when I remembered that I cannot take Valium for any length of time. So went back last Tuesday and she changed it to Ativan. I had no idea how insidious benzos are. I joined a benzo withdrawal FB group and it was filled with people who are suffering due to Benzo withdrawals. Some people wind up with neuro damage, some it can take up to two years before they start feeling some sort of normal. I did tons of research and found the hyperbolic method to be a newer, safer more successful titration technique. There are many horror stories on YT. After I had done a month of intensive research I tried to help some of those people in the FB group but between that bad advice and the stupidity of people, I had to leave. It was stressing me out too much. So today has been four days and I feel much better. Not back to normal but better.
Had blood work done and with all of my supplementation and other medication cutbacks the results came back much better. I lost another 25 pounds bringing my weight loss to a total of a bit over 100 pounds. I cried when I got off the scales. She did complain about my blood sugar being high. I keep telling her it is always high in the mornings and that I only eat in the evenings before bed. As I go through my day it goes down. That is common among women and I can't remember what it is called. She put me back on Jardiance, I will take it for a while and she wants me to record my readings a couple times a day. So I will do this to appease her and do some research into lowering glucose levels with supplements. She also said that my blood levels had gone down, I was making more than 'normal' red and white blood cells. She said my cells are a bit oversized so I will see what the heck that is. Hopefully she can get my MRI approved. I took in a list with dates of injections, xrays, and ablations to send the info to the NIA. I noticed about a month ago that the knobs of my collar bones are not even. One sits back farther. Pretty sure the chiro did that to me. My thoracic hurts all the time but intensity fluctuates.
Still doing my Stamet Stack though I don't microdose on a regular basis. I still do my daily lion's mane and niacin. I have added Glucosamine/Chondroitin originally based on research that was done a few decades ago and then was buried of course. It has reemerged and says that it is good for keeping your organs and circulatory/heart systems lubricated to prevent a build-up of plaque. It works like the slime that covers a fish, protection. Not to mention keeping joints lubricated. Doc is adding B12 also, and I have been taking D3-K2.
So today is a good day, a great day. I required to tell myself that, one because it is true, two because it is a form of gratitude, and three because starting your day that way can help set the mood for the day. So every day is a great day LOL.
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Thanks for the update. It's a shame you're having to go through so much torment. I hope you'll soon be on your way to better, calmer days.
That is quite a weight loss! It sounds as if you wanted to shed the weight, right?SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) 12/20 - 3/19/24.Comment
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Morning all, yep time for a check in. Phew the last three months have been rough. I went back on my Klonopin on Tuesday. The Ativan just wasn't working and made me feel horrible. Dizzy, vertigo, nausea, brain fog, and by 3 I felt worse and by 5 I was feeling faint. So I told her on Tuesday during a telehealth that I wanted my Klonopin back. I am adjusting but even after two days I could tell it was better. I am irritable when I wake up but for some reason the cats have been waking me about 5 again. I figure once I stabilize it will go away.
A lot has gone on with me emotionally, mentally, I do have a bit of a depressed mood but that's better than the depression I was living in. I unfortunately tend to go down a few rabbit holes and now I know more than I ever wanted to. About Big Pharma, Big Ag, China, our own government and so much more. Things are way worse than anyone ever dreamed. From religion and the bible, science, economy, wars, the deliberate poisoning of our food and hey Big Pharma funds about 80% of the FDA's backing. So pharma and the food industry are in cahoots. Living in the US it is virtually impossible to get away from the food because it costs so much more to eat healthy. I cry every time I order groceries or plan a meal. Almost every single food in the US has a toxin in it. Kraft makes mac and cheese for the US but sends a healthier version to other countries. I'm just gobsmacked at the sad tragedy of the whole thing. If I could afford to move to a different country I would. There are beautiful places where I could live very comfortably on less than $1000 a month. It's funny to me now that people still believe that voting makes a difference. People think the president runs the country. I see young influencers talking politics and think you poor soul, you still believe in the government, too young to know any better. Duped.
I often have to fall back on my mentor's teachings to regain control of my ego which is clamoring for entertainment constantly. Nothing happens without a reason. Everything is as it is meant to be. Nothing that occurs in the outside world affects me in the long run. The mindset is meant to bring peace. I am afraid I may need to disconnect from TT and YT LOL. I am going to do a big dose again. I need it. Terence Mckenna says anything less than 5 grams is child's play LOL. So that is my goal. Trying to make sure I am in the right mindset so my trip is not negatively affected.
WEnt for a walk in our woods the other day. I haven't been in there in almost ten years. I had meant to do a walking meditation around the pond and take some pictures but once I got in there I came across the opening in the fence and decided to trek into the woods. There is a spot in there that many in the neighborhood hang around in and there are four wheelers that get ridden back there. As I was going in every slasher horror movie I have seen popped into my head. Then I realized I was almost out the other side. I found a bright blue piece of plastic that was part of a kids chalk board that had been discarded so couldn't leave that laying in there. I snagged it up and worked my way out and of course as I was leaving I spotted a tent set up. I know sometimes the homeless set up camp back there so beat feet to get back to 'safety' lol. I considered calling out to see if they needed anything but thought better of it. Then when I told brandon he freaked out and asked if I was crazy LOL. Well.....maybe a little. It felt so good to be out there I was high off of it for two days. I even climbed over a log and it was huge and as I was going up to it I didn't think I could do it but man that muscle memory kicked in and I swung my leg over and so many mental and emotional memories came up. Just touching the log brought such a connection to everything all at once. Was amazing. I just can't express the feeling. If I told half of what I feel and the synchronicities that come up and the amazing things that happen now that I am connected to the Creator in me many would think I was nuts. I even had to check in with my mentor to get reassurance that I was not crazy.
Okay I have said a whole lot of not much LOL. Hope everyone is well.Comment
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I think I can really understand this feeling. Every time I do something I haven't thought I was able to do for years, I'm celebrating. The other day I realized that often I'm walking around the apartment without the rollator any more and even able to bend over and pick something up off the floor without the reacher (sometimes)--and I'm amazed.I even climbed over a log and it was huge and as I was going up to it I didn't think I could do it but man that muscle memory kicked in and I swung my leg over and so many mental and emotional memories came up. Just touching the log brought such a connection to everything all at once. Was amazing. I just can't express the feeling.
Sometimes a person just has to do something soothing. For some odd reason I read (listen to) true crime books quite often. I wonder why I'm finding them soothing when they're about murders. I think hearing about some problems that are far worse than mine puts my situation into better perspective.
Sounds as if you're doing everything you can to get a handle on your emotional and physical health, Chris.SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) 12/20 - 3/19/24.Comment
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Good for you Agate! The more I move the more I am able to move if that makes any sense LOL. My mother was a huge fan of true crime novels, despite the fact that they gave her nightmares more times than not. I prefer my horror to be fiction, I am well aware of the horrors that people are capable of and it just sickens me.
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It's forecast for our temperature to go to 41* tonight. FORTY-ONE DEGREES!! That's cold, winter cold. That's unusual for the first week of September. I think I'll dig out a blanket!Comment
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Today, 01:29 PM
Girl I had to run the furnace last night. 42 degrees. Usually the house will hold the heat of the day for quite a while but since it was only 60 yesterday there was no heat to hold in LOLOL
Last edited by Moderator #2; 09-10-2024, 06:06 AM.Comment
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Hey all, figured I'd check in today,
Jingle, I am in Michigan. Winter decided to come the day after Thanksgiving. I always said the day after Thanksgiving until the day after New Year's for winter. I can do without all the cold at the beginning of the year.
I'm doing quite well, mentally anyway LOL. My pain is a constant nagging companion and I am sure that my activities have not helped. I finally got granted my Thoracic MRI, it only took a year, 9 denials, about 60 pages of info faxed and I made some phone calls over my insurance's head. I am changing my insurance after my MRI because I am pretty sure they mismanaged my information and were holding back on the info they sent to NIA.
I got my acre pretty much winter-ready. I have been paying the neighbor down the street a bit here and there so he can haul off a huge load of brush for me once I have it paid. That will make me very happy. My garage is pretty much sorted out. Just some minor things to attend to. I have been setting up my tools so that I can get back to building things.
Now that it is too cold to be outside for any length of time I have been working on the inside of the house. Washing walls, trying to put my bathroom back together, reclaiming my craft room that I had turned into my foster room. I no longer foster, my son's cat Lucy is in there but the door is open and she can come and go whenever she wishes. She chooses not to LOL. I do still roam in the foster and rescue world but mostly networking, and advice, sometimes I might be in a good place to make a small donation for vetting or food. That is not often but makes me happy to be able to do it. I have also been dealing with emotional clutter finally. Boxes of knick-knacks, beautiful things that were my grandmother's, some of which are worth money. I am considering selling some of that and putting it towards a car. Things I had forgotten, things I collected. So much to get rid of. So many pretty things. Some I cry over, some I wonder why I kept lol.
Been really struggling trying to get off of the pharmaceuticals. Especially after my doc told me it wasn't likely. I am down another so I have gone from 18 daily and 4 as needed to two as needed and five pharmas most of which are psych meds. Titrating off of them is so very hard. Had I known how hard I may not have even started them. I fired my psych and my primary is helping me titrate down. I am down on all of them. My bloodwork came back at great levels. So thyroid med was most recent drop. Unfortunately, none of the docs know anything about titrating off of meds, they don't teach them that so I am doing it on my own with her as backup. I did not know how bad Klonopin was. I was in withdrawal for about two months. It was awful. One of the worst experiences I have had with meds. My doc got me back on and I have managed to drop the dosage already. Starting to feel stable enough to possibly make another small cut in a month or two.
I have been doing a lot of supplementation. Still doing the Stamet Stack but I don't do the microdose as often. I really don't need it regularly anymore.
Well that's all I can think of for now. I am sure it is more than enough LOL. Hope everyone is well this holiday season.
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What does fluoride do to your mental health?
Chronic exposure may be linked to decreased intelligence, memory deficits, learning difficulties, and ADHD. There is little work on the effect of fluoride on internalizing disorders such as depression and anxiety.Dec 7, 2021Comment
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Clouds, I'm repeating my previous reply to you here.
In the article linked below you'll find this:
The NTP monograph concluded, with moderate confidence, that higher levels of fluoride exposure, such as drinking water containing more than 1.5 milligrams of fluoride per liter, are associated with lower IQ in children. The NTP review was designed to evaluate total fluoride exposure from all sources and was not designed to evaluate the health effects of fluoridated drinking water alone. It is important to note that there were insufficient data to determine if the low fluoride level of 0.7 mg/L currently recommended for U.S. community water supplies has a negative effect on children’s IQ. The NTP found no evidence that fluoride exposure had adverse effects on adult cognition.
Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...SPMS diagnosed 1980. Avonex 2001-2004. Copaxone 2006-2009. Glatopa (glatiramer acetate = Copaxone) 12/20 - 3/19/24.Comment
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Morning all, figured I was overdue for a check in. Things are going here. Yes you read that right. They are going, that's about it LOLOL. I am scheduled to have knee replacement done on the 1st of July. I fell on the 3rd of may, through a whole comedy of errors I might add, and while the damage wasn't severe is was bad enough that I went to urgent care four days later and got an xray, then my doc wanted another xray from RMI and then that showed a necessity for an MRI. Sooooo...my knee is pretty much destroyed, it wasn't really the fall, though I do have a vertically torn meniscus, it was just something that brought the whole mess that is my knee into light. Doc says bone on bone, meniscus tear, big bone spur which is what I suspect has been bothering me for a while, fluid, particles, tons of scar tissue from damage and previous surgeries. Yes this is the one I had the ACL reconstruction done on in 2006. That, by the way, has pretty much completely deteriorated. I was terrified of getting a new knee, I just wanted them to go in and clean it up. I received a lecture when I asked about having that done about his medical ethics code, and was told I would eventually need a new knee, so why not do it now. He said I deserve to have a new knee after almost 20 years of trouble with this one. I didn't mention that it was originally damaged in a concert mosh pit in the mid 90s LOL. I have been limping around here since then, have made an actual dinner maybe 4-5 times and besides the guilt I do not miss it. Got my youngest handling dishes, trash and laundry, a bit of yard work. Brandon is working full time. He runs a kitchen at a major campground out of town. Yes he is still here. Funny he said he ony needed a month but I gave him two. It was 3 years on May 7th LOL. The economy here has been terrible and while I am ready for them both to get out I suspect I am stuck with the youngest til I die.
STill got 5 kitties here and my Dash just turned 13. He had to have a dental done a couple months ago and they removed two teeth. Which for an old Dachshund who never had a dental is pretty darn good. I found an organization that helps seniors with senior animals get vetting. They paid $500 and I had like $76 left to pay. Brandon's cat turned 17 last February. She has really slowed down. I will be surprised if she makes it another year. She is healthy though. Just slow and a bit unstable on her feet so I have to be careful when I pet her not to surprise her or do it too hard or she stumbles.
I am pretty sure I am down maybe another 20 pounds since here last. I have no pants to wear so took B's car up the road to the discount store to find some leggings. At least those stretch while my weight fluctuates up and down a couple pounds here and there.
I am still purging though now I have come upon a problem. My emotional clutter. I had cleaned out the basement and had a lot of lovelies so reclaimed my sewing room and put things up in here and in my bedroom. I still have too much. I dont' want to dust this stuff for the rest of my life LOLOL. I cried while I took pictures and posted some things. A friend I haven't seen since precovid happened to have just moved back to Michigan and asked for the box of stuff I posted. She is coming to visit today. I attempted the sewing room closet but after cleaning out the shelves I moved to the first big bin and started crying after seeing all of the stuff in it, actually only the very top layer of stuff. I never made it deep. Most of which came from my grandmother. I put the lid back on and stuffed it back in the closet for another day. It is like the closet of broken craft dreams LOL. I am considering selling some of the craft things as a lot. Only issue is not knowing what I want to keep, what I will use, and when I think about it, I think well, heck, I can use it all. Also getting my garage in order so I can start woodworking again. I found a lovely builder gentleman who has brought me some of his leftover wood to get me started. Beautiful wood, cut offs and left overs. I met him on the NextDoor app.
I haven't been microdosing. I no longer need to. I have down moments but that is life. An up and down flow. Learning how to handle the down times and understanding that they are transient is key. Seems like there is more but I think I have said more than enough LOL.
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