Idiots Inc.

[Tweeker]

Hi

The following seems, to me, to be just stupid. Wife said this evening that she’s gunna cancel her excursion to Europe, due to her over riding concern about my health, during her absence. She’s scheduled to leave SF next Wednesday, May 30, for Austria, Switzerland and Germany. She’ll be gone merely three weeks.

Her decision is based on her recent fear that I might croak if she goes away. I gently assured her that I’m quite capable of handling myself, (sounds nasty, huh?), while she’s away. Then the uncontrollable tears, while reliving a couple of health incidents. So why, if ya felt this way, did ya book a trip to Europe, with your friend, eight months ago?

I’m not too concerned that the money for the trip will be lost when\if she cancels. It’s only money; they make more. What really bugs me is that I won’t get a reprieve from her continual monitoring of what I’m doing, with whom I may be doing “it” and, where I happen to be. No wonder I don’t own a cell phone.

Tweeker

Ya Can’t Argue With An Idiot

[agate]

Could you remind her that caregivers often get burn-out if they don't have some time off?

It would be a shame if your wife deprived herself of a trip she probably would enjoy. You can't shut yourself in a cocoon on the offchance that something bad might happen to you if you came out of it. People do die unexpectedly but you can't organize your whole life around that possibility. Are you hovering near death at the moment? If you were in a hospital and not expected to live, I could understand your wife's cancelling her trip but it doesn't sound as if that's what's happening.

She can make some arrangements for people to check in on you, can't she? In fact, she can probably check in with you herself by computer easily enough because many hotels and other places have Internet access.

[Tweeker]

Hi

Thanks agate for making my case. Gunna print your response, to bolster my argument for her taking the trip. Maybe me and Wife can have a calm, reasoned talk about her trip cancellation idea tonight.

You’re so right about caregivers needing a break. Once in a while, even the cared-for need a break. I’ve made it this far, right?

Tweeker

Ya Can’t Argue With An Idiot

[agate]

I remember some of your posts from years past, and I know you've had really serious health problems. You wrote:

Wife said this evening that she’s gunna cancel her excursion to Europe, due to her over riding concern about my health, during her absence.

It sounds as if your wife put it in those terms--she's cancelling because she's concerned about your health. That's quite a load to put on you.

Now is the time to show her you can get along quite nicely on your own, thanks. Even if you have to set yourself up with an emergency call button or with daily check-ins from reliable people--whatever it takes--I think you can manage for 3 weeks.

I know how I'd feel if a loved one said that to me. I'd feel really guilty. I'd do everything in my power to make that trip happen. Most people don't want to feel they're a burden.

[Barque]

Tell her YOU need a break from her. That aught to do it. I mean you HAVE 911 if something happens.

Or maybe she has changed her mind and doesn't want to go for some other reason???

[renee]

Barque said it for me.
Geez, sometimes the overly concerned can kill you.

It is nice to be loved but EVERYBODY needs space.

[Buttons2]

I don't know you or your wife,however I urge you to stand your ground! she's trying to lay a guilt trip on you for whatever reason. (unless something has changed for the worse with your health in the past 8 months that is)

wishing you good luck! and for her to go on the trip & have some fun!

[SalpalSally]

Have you told her how much you're going to miss her while she's gone (and you will)? Maybe that's what she needs to hear..

[Buttons2]

Tweeker,Sally has a good point. also if you read your post you have called your wife stupid & an idiot. not the way to get your way I'd say. I DO understand caregiver burn out so don't mean to be critical..... just saying......

[Tweeker]

Hi

Button2:

I read to my wife agate’s response regarding not going to Europe as planned.

I didn’t mean to imply that I consider my wife stupid. Over protective, yes; stupid, hardly.

My original post. Idiots Inc., refers to us both. After 35+ years of marriage, it’s become a rare, but applicable at times, understood moniker. We never use the term in anger.

With everyone’s guidance, the plan to cancel her upcoming trip has been rescinded.

I really do extend heartfelt Thanks to those who helped resolved my angst.

Tweeker

[Buttons2]

OK all's well then? had no idea Agate was your spouse! I'm not too familiar with the people on MS forum. just get caught up reading their posts from time to time.....they seem to be an active group & I'm glad for that!

(also,keep in mind there's a reason I'm on a brain forum....hehe.)

hope it's a wonderful trip Agate!

[agate]

Buttons2, I'm not Tweeker's spouse and in fact haven't met Tweeker.

When Tweeker wrote

I read to my wife agate’s response regarding not going to Europe as planned.

I can see how you could have misread it.

[stillstANNding]

OK all's well then? had no idea Agate was your spouse! I'm not too familiar with the people on MS forum. just get caught up reading their posts from time to time.....they seem to be an active group & I'm glad for that (also,keep in mind there's a reason I'm on a brain forum....hehe.) hope it's a wonderful trip Agate!

You gave me a good laugh, Buttons. One for Agate being Tweekers wife and one for "there is a reason I am on a brain forum."

It happens to us all. But this was funny and I thank you!
ANN