November chitchat

[agate]

Glad you've surfaced, Howie! Some things just take time and more time.

Virginia, you've had a very bad night! Do you think maybe the shot plus the errands caused you to be a bit too rundown, and maybe that's why you had this accident? I hope that the pain will go away soon but you probably need to take it easy for as long as you can.

I would have done exactly what you did under those circumstances. I wouldn't want to create a commotion or to be seen half-dressed. I would have spent half the night, as you did, just inching to a place where I could pull myself up somehow.

I sometimes wonder why I bother with this emergency button but it makes me feel more at ease. I know that if the time came, I would use it.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

I'm so sorry that you fell! Thankfully, you didn't break any bones and are able to function today.

I have learned that I have to think twice about anything I do to prevent an accident. I sit on the toilet or side of the bed to dress and undress. The risk of falling is much less, I think. My office chairs are on rollers, so I'm careful to check behind me and hold the chair by the arms to steady it as I sit or rise. I try to be observant about hazards in my yards, like stepping up or down from the patio slab, avoiding sprinkler heads, and roots. The older I get, the more I realize that I have to pay attention to everything.

You did an amazing amount of walking yesterday from your descriptions. I envy your ability to do that. And driving, and parking, etc. I haven't driven for a year, because I fear slipping when I climb in or out of the van. It has 2 steps. While I'm used to them, of course, I am not as agile as I was even a year or so ago.

Your Thanksgiving solution sounds wonderful! I'm glad it is all worked out now, so it won't be a source of stress for you.

Healing prayers on the way ~

Howie ~

Thank you for checking in with us. Good news that your pain is lessening, and I suppose that means the swelling is also down. I hope it continues to improve. Sounds like Sam is taking good care of you.

Healing prayers on the way ~

agate ~

Probably many of us don't want to be found in an undressed state of need. The fact that paramedics and EMTs have seen everything in their line of work doesn't give us comfort or thwart our embarrassment. However, if we need help, as in something is broken, or we can't, after hours of trying, get up, then we must make that call.

I've lost count of the number of times paramedics and EMTs have been to our home through the years. And every one of those professionals were compassionate, efficient, kind, patient, caring, and did everything they could to make me feel comfortable as a Mom or a Wife. We shouldn't be afraid to call them out of embarrassment. This is their job, their life career, to help others in distress, and they take it seriously.

So, if we are in a situation, where we need their help, regardless of our clothing, be assured that you will be treated with respect and given your dignity.

Maybe we have just been fortunate all these years to have received such loving care from paramedics and EMTs, but they wouldn't be in their jobs, if they didn't have a commitment to helping others.

The last time when Jonathan was in ER, the phlebotomist and nurse had difficulty placing Jon's IV. They called in a paramedic, who was rotating throughout the hospital departments to learn more about caring for patients in the field. A tall, handsome young man entered Jon's room, immediately made friends with Jon, and with me and Jim, began chatting about sports, and the next thing you know, the IV was in.

We should never be afraid to call for help, when we need it. Tell the 911 dispatcher that you are undressed, and ask if one of the responders could be a woman. It doesn't hurt to ask. And it won't be the first time they have responded to a woman in need, who is embarrassed.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[agate]

I have learned that I have to think twice about anything I do to prevent an accident. I sit on the toilet or side of the bed to dress and undress. The risk of falling is much less, I think. My office chairs are on rollers, so I'm careful to check behind me and hold the chair by the arms to steady it as I sit or rise. I try to be observant about hazards in my yards, like stepping up or down from the patio slab, avoiding sprinkler heads, and roots. The older I get, the more I realize that I have to pay attention to everything.

How very true! Having to plan every move so carefully pretty much rules out any multitasking, too, doesn't it? Years ago I had no problem talking on the phone while making a grocery list while fixing a button on something or other, and if the doorbell rang, no problem there either. That kind of activity drives me into a panic nowadays. That's exactly when I goof up badly and there may be an injury.

Yes, the patio slab! I don't know how many times I've very nearly fallen off that patio slab. What amazes me is that it sits only an inch or so above the ground, and yet failing to notice that dropoff has caused problems for me repeatedly. By now I like to think I've learned, but I probably haven't.

[Virginia]

Good reminders to pay attention to what we are doing at all times. I thought I had learned that lesson, but I guess in my case I just have to keep learning. In spite of getting the booster vaccine Thursday I had had one of the best days I have had in a long time. It was the perfect weather that one day I think. The humidity plays such a big part in my MS and my walking.

I very foolishly thought my balance was better than it was and I just kind of forgot about what I was doing. There are so many bad days that it is hard to explain what one good day does to me. I love having those days that come all too seldom, but they bring confidence that I can't afford to have in my abilities. If I am blessed with any more of those days I am going to enjoy them, but not become over confident.

I woke this morning hurting really bad in my right hip and knee. I know I need hip and knee replacement on that side and often do hurt, but this morning was worse. Also my hands are still sore. I will take it easy from the fall and I will recover and do my very best to learn from it.

I hope Howie is continuing to heal.

I would like to check on Jeanie today, but I don't like to call when I am feeling down.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

Are you concerned that you might have a fracture? Your hands must have hit the floor when you toppled?

I'm going to be a broken record again and recommend Witch Hazel! It really works! I wouldn't say that, unless it was true. It is safe, and it is not a horse dewormer.

I'm so glad that you had that wonderful day, but I'm so sorry that it resulted in your current pain and discomfort. And, I really get what you were feeling, euphoric that you had had such a good day. Some days, I have the energy to accomplish more tasks than others, and I'm proud of myself! We should all congratulate ourselves every day for whatever we accomplish. I always include, "Thank You."

If I push too hard, I have pain, so I stop. And, I continually think about better ways for me to do things to keep me safe. I stop and think, "What is the best way for me to do this?" We learn as we go, right? So, you've just learned as you went.

I understand too how you feel about calling Jeanie. Don't worry about that now, just concentrate on healing. Continuing to send prayers and positive, healing energy for you ~

agate ~

Ah yes, the days when we were young, more resilient, more active. If someone else had written a story similar to my life, and I hadn't lived that story, I would wonder, "How did she do all of that?!" I know this, because I look back on my life and ask that question.

Who among us could not say the same thing? You look back upon your lives, and you realize just how amazing you are. This is true for all of us. Ponder for a moment on all of your accomplishments and overcoming obstacles. And you are still in the race, jumping over hurdles, and running as fast as you can. Awesome and impressive.

As for slabs, we have a few, and I know them well. My biggest challenge is taking out and bringing in the trash bins. Our driveway is sloped, and there are a few bumps along the way thanks to earthquakes. I have to gear up for it, and visualize every move I make, so that I don't miss a step. When I'm done, I just give thanks and rest.

All that any of us can ever do is our best.

Healing energy and prayers for all to be safe, strong, and recover quickly ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[Virginia]

Rose, no fractures but just a lot of soreness. But I think my hands are sore more from trying to inch my way along using my hands and the side of my body that I landed on. My legs were pretty much useless because one was under the other and I couldn't get it out until I was propped against the side of my bed and I lifted my other leg off of it. I feel very thankful, I could easily be in a hospital with a broken bone right now and I realize it. Still it is hard for me to accept.

I do know that the witch hazel works because I used it on my worse knee one time when it was giving me trouble. If I am not much better by tomorrow and if a hot shower does not do a lot of good I will get it out. I didn't get my shower today, I just sponged off because I didn't feel like it but I plan to get one of my long hot ones tomorrow.

Thanks for caring and for listening.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

We're all in this together, and we all need as much support as we can get. I am grateful that you didn't break a bone. Do you have any bruises? Witch Hazel is anti-inflammatory, which reduces swelling and bruising. I hope that you were able to get in and out of the shower easily today, and that you are feeling better this evening. Healing prayers continuing ~

Today, we had strong winds with gusts up to 35 mph. I am so glad that I had my tree trimmed. When I started peeling and chopping veggies for my dinner this afternoon, the wind carried a familiar smell ~ fire. I checked for notifications, and a fire was burning about 40 miles from me.

This reminds me of November 2019, when there were fires all around us, and as John was taking Jim and me home from Jim's radiology treatment, we could see flames next to the hospital. Years before Jim was diagnosed, I remember a November, when there were fires surrounding us, and we could see the flames in the distance from our front yard. Ashes and debris were falling on our home/yards.

It is 85 degrees here today, and we're expecting the same weather for the rest of the week. We have many deciduous trees, including a sycamore, which dropped all of its leaves on my backyard today. So, it looks like autumn. In a parched, drought-ridden state, dry, crackling leaves are fuel for fire. That's what autumn looks like in California.

Stay safe and be well everyone ~ and please check in here to let us know how you are. If you haven't checked in for awhile, please know that you are missed.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[Virginia]

Well, I have some new help in my house today. Laura talked on the phone almost the entire time she was here two weeks ago. I really was kind of mad. She had been working in my bathroom for about an hour and all she has to do is clean the shower and the floor. I do the sinks and the vanities. Finally I got up and walked in there just to see what was going on. My toilet and my shower are in a little room separate from the vanities and other stuff. She was sitting on the toilet lid with the shower door closed and the water running in the shower. She jumped up when she saw me but didn't put the phone down. She worked all day with just her right hand. The left hand was holding her phone up to her ear.

I still had not planned to say anything, though I should have long ago. But then she called me Sunday night and said she wanted to come Monday. I told her this was my week to get my hair done. I said Laura I have people coming in to my house this week, please don't do this to me. She said she had an appointment to take her baby to the Doctor. This was obviously not an emergency. I kept thinking why is she calling me at 8PM on Sunday night. Why didn't she give me more notice if she had an appointment. She kept trying to get me to change my appointment and I told her that was not an option because the lady who cuts my hair stays booked solid. She said she would see what she could do. I asked her to call me back Monday before I left. I was so angry about this that I got up early Monday morning and searched for this lady's phone number and called her. The baby Laura is referring to is her Granddaughter, but I am just not sure she had an appointment.

Laura did call before I left yesterday. She was still trying to get me to change my appointment. I said Laura the outside door mat is still laying on my front porch. I had bought a new one and asked her to put the old one in recycling two weeks ago. She said alright. Later I asked if she had done it. She said she would do it when she started to leave. It was a heavy one and I couldn't lift it. Anyway I told her over the phone that since I didn't know if she was coming or not that I had gotten someone else. I don't know how Carmen is going to work out, but she at least uses two hands and is not constantly on the phone.

When I interviewed this lady a number of years ago, she would not commit to coming every two weeks and I doubt that she will now. She has a 5 year old and a ten year old. Right now I am enjoying the sound of someone trying. I have had to admit that I am not up to keeping up this place. I wish I had someone I could just turn this part over to and feel that it is taken care of. I think Ann has two good ladies and her Mother has one, maybe I will get lucky.

Well, Carmen is gone and this one time I am impressed. She really is a worker. She is willing to come every two weeks, but she wants to stay only 3 hours. She says she can do everything she did today in 3 hours, but I tell you she really worked and there are other things I would like her to do. She insist she can do it in 3 hours. The way she went today I don't see how, but she is coming back in two weeks. I will miss Laura if I loose her completely, which looks probable but the constant talking on the phone was really getting to me. I really don't have anything I have to do today and when Laura was here I did all the vacuuming and Carmen even did that.

Went to get my hair done yesterday and to the grocery store. I got quite a few things.

My nephew, older brother of the golfer, just bought a small townhouse and he is so excited. He said he thought we were the two conservatives in the family. I just told him how proud I was of him and didn't mention the fact that he is far from conservative, but he does work hard. He is out of town working 5 to 6 months a year and travels a lot for pleasure during the other part. He is going to Aruba (which he does twice a year) next month. His painter is coming over tomorrow and we are going to discuss my painting needs. Hope I can afford him. My nephew has been telling me the paint colors he is going to use in his townhouse. He is having it painted all over, new flooring, new counter tops and on and on. I am smiling to myself and thinking "this is suppose to be conservative?"

So that has been my last couple of days, how has everyone else's been? The deal with Laura has kind of worn me out. I am very conflicted about Laura. I don't want to hurt her, but I just can't afford to have her come here to stay on the phone. This has been going on for a long time now, so I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but still I am sorry all this has happened and I am just tired though I haven't really done anything today.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

How is the soreness from your fall? You must be better to have been able to get your hair done and vacuum.

It seems that you haven't been satisfied with Laura's efforts for quite awhile, like ... years? Perhaps she has been taking advantage of you, knowing that you wouldn't want to hurt her by letting her go. In this situation, she is creating stress for you, because your brother is coming to visit, and you want your home sparkling for his visit. Stress is tiring, and you've had quite a bit of stress this year.

Housekeeping can be strenuous, which is why you need help. This is a job, an income source, for Laura and Carmen, so they need to do their best for you, as well as think of referrals from you to other clients.

Are you hiring them from an agency? If so, you have the option of complaining to the agency and requesting another person to clean your home.

As Benjamin Franklin said, "Time is money."

I hope the painter shows up tomorrow, and you have a successful meeting and can decide on colors.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[agate]

Virginia, the cellphone problem was big even back when I had helpers. I know how big a problem it is. I had helpers making and taking calls while driving, which wasn't allowed by the agency rules but they did it anyway because they said their kids were having an emergency, etc., etc.

I made excuses for them quite often. I didn't want to complain. I didn't want hurt feelings--and of course the loss of income for people who were depending on it. I knew they weren't getting nearly as much money in their paycheck as they should have been, and I knew their situations were usually pretty stressful (abusive family members, out-of-control kids, illness in the family, severe financial problems). But the time came sometimes when the work just wasn't getting done and I needed to have it done.

Sounds as if that time has come for you too, Virginia.

I may have mentioned Merry Maids before but I've forgotten whether that wasn't an option for you. Anyway I've known people who have had good luck with Merry Maids, which is nationwide. I believe they don't do laundry though? I looked at their Website just now and see no mention of laundry but I'm not sure laundry has been one of Laura's tasks?

Those phones seem to be irresistible. I wonder if nowadays you could have a firm rule that a helper should have her phone turned off while she's on the job with you?

[Virginia]

Rose, I went to the hairdressers and grocery store yesterday. Carmen did the vacuuming today. Laura never vacuumed my house, I always did that before today.

I am not going through an agency to get my help right now. I prefer to stay with an individual if I can. If I can't stay with an individual I had planned to
call Merry Maid.s. This lady really impressed me today. She did so many little things that I used to do when I was doing the cleaning, and Laura never did them. After she left I kept finding things she had done on her own. She is not going upstairs to clean up there, but as long as Laura was here she didn't do that either. Tonight I am just glad to have a clean house, but I don't believe she can do this good a job in 3 hours.

Rose, I expect I am really tired from staying out yesterday and then talked quite a bit to a neighbor who gave me Carmen's name and number years ago. She doesn't use a maid but did use Carmen one time back then and was very satisfied.

After that my nephew called and he and I talked quite awhile.

If all of you notice more typos than usual I am typing most of the time on my tablet with it in my lap.

[Virginia]

We are a little scattered out on here and I can't remember what has been posted where, but since we only have 3 or 4 threads going I guess it doesn't matter much.

Yesterday my two brothers from here went to pick my older brother up about an hour away. They brought him to my house and left. He doesn't look well to me, but then he and I tried to figure the last time we had seen each other and we think it was at least 4 years possibly 5. We had a good visit. Then one of the brothers from here came and got us and took us out to the bar-b-que restaurant where we were eating. I could see why he chose that place. They had a large room off to the side and we rearranged the tables so we were more together, which they told us we could do. They also had bar-b-que chicken and some seafood such as oyster stew, flounder, etc. I decided to have the bar-b-que dinner which had in addition to the slaw, two vegetables. It is a kind of off to the side type place and not upscale, but the food was good.

We had 15 adults and 2 children, one of them included our new baby. He just smiles at everyone. The other one is 4. Two of my older brother's daughters came to see him. He knew one was going to be there, but the other one was a surprise. His step Granddaughter and her fiancee came over to where we were to pick my older brother up and take him back to where he is staying. I liked them and hope they do get married, my brother does to. His wife did not come with him and I was sorry she didn't. They have a small dog who is elderly and has dementia. The dog is having anxiety attacks and my sister-in-law's daughter has a really big dog, so they did not want to leave their dog alone there.

I could not help it, I teared up when my older brother left, but was able to keep from breaking down. I was afraid he was going to do the same. He told me and my other two brothers said he had told them that if not for seeing me he would not have made this trip, that it is just too hard on him. My brother has never drank or smoked and his weight is good, but he has a ton of things wrong with him. He was in a lot of Agent Orange in Vietnam.

After getting home I sat down in the living room with my tablet and was going through my e-mail. I came up on an e-mail from a Frank Sullivan and at first thought it was another one that I would have to delete. I looked under his name and in parathesis he had (John Sullivan). I thought, I know a John Sullivan, so I opened it. It was John's twin brother saying that John had passed away on November 6th. Among his things was a folder titled "Do this First". There were people in this folder to be notified. I was one of them that he gave an e-mail address for. It gave a link to the memorial services that were held for John. The services were on U-tube and I watched it all the way through. They said during the services that John had bone cancer. I was a good friend of his wife's and went to their house for a long time for a weekly meditation group. I have probably known them about 35 years. I wanted to watch the service again because it was sweet and they quoted a lot of things from a blog that John had started. It was introspective as you might expect from a kind person. I thought I had saved it to a special folder I set up, but when I tried to pull it up this morning I could not find it. I tried to find it on U-Tube and was unable to do so. Rose, I know you get around U-tube well, if you know of a way for me to pull it up please let me know.

John's brother Frank does not live here, but gave his telephone number. I had planned to call him. The minister said Jane and John had moved into an assisted living facility. It is one in a small place South of Raleigh. I don't know if Jane is still there or not. She appeared to be walking with the help of some kind of walking aid that rolled on 3 wheels. It looked like it was kind of shaped like a wheel barrow. John was 76 in September. Jane is a couple of years or so younger, so these are not real old people. Their house is still listed in their name, so it has not been sold.

Rose, if you have some time and can see if you can find this on U-Tube. The information would be John G. Sullivan and I guess it would be under Memorial Services.

[agate]

Virginia, I just sent you a PM that may have the video you're looking for.

I hope to write more later today. My "morning hands" don't want to do much today.

Rose, I didn't mean to horn in on a question that was addressed to you--but I happened to be here and was able to bring up the video (I think).

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

How wonderful for your entire family to be able to gather and enjoy time together! I'm so glad for all of you, because we know that time is precious and life is fragile, so we need to make hay while the sun shines. I hope that everyone took lots of photographs of the memories you made.

Your poignant parting with your older brother brought tears, as I imagined that moment for both of you. You are all blessed to have each other, and this reunion was possible by everyone chipping in.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I also sent you a PM with a link, possibly the same link agate sent to you. (And, no agate, there is no such thing as horning in, when someone needs help. ) If our links aren't the correct ones, then I suggest you go back to the email from Frank, and click on the link he provided.

Once you get to the proper link for John's service, I recommend that you "Bookmark" the page. Then, you can return to your Bookmarks and find it.

I hope you're enjoying all of the food your sister-in-law sent to you. Sounds like a feast!

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[Virginia]

Both of you did an excellent job and I appreciate it so much. I think I will call the church they went to and see if I can get a copy of one of the booklets they made up of John's blogging. He really wrote some very kind and loving things at a time when he knew he was dying. He was a very smart man, but soft spoken and gentle. When one man from the meditation group spoke of sitting with John on the glassed in porch, I thought I know that porch so well. I use to sit there with John and Jane when they invited me over to eat. It was so peaceful. Also, when the meditation group met we first went to Jane's den and had about 1/2 hour of social time together, then we all got up and went to the glassed in porch and that is where we had our meditation. In the winter it was heated and if it was a pretty day in the summer we would have the windows open. You could hear the birds. So many memories were made there. We had two men in the group who played guitars and a couple of times we had an extra get together and they brought their guitars and played. Most every Christmas we were all invited to John and Jane's and usually they brought the guitars then also.

Thanks again to Joan and Rose!