Read this thread please

[Mike Weins]

Yes I have closed a few threads. While some points might still remain/things to be said, it won't do any good to continually fan the flames.

There are a couple of ways to resolve this conflict.

#1 Since we're all adults here (at least the ones that are actively participating are) we can hash it out in this thread (that is not a link ... I mean this thread you are currently reading) or via pm's. Keep it respectful.

#2 Those that are not getting along can simply place each other on their respective ignore lists (alas this won't hide someone quoting someone you ignored ... a flaw in the core software that is hard to work around.)

#3 I can force those not getting along to ignore each other, and if any of them remove the forced ignore before whatever time frame I determine is needed will be suspended for a spell. I don't like this option all that much.

These forums are here to support everyone and anyone that needs them. Personality conflicts/clashes are bound to happen from time to time. It's how each individual, the "non involved" members, and staff handle these situations that either make or break the forums. I'm pretty lenient when it comes to posting, and am happy to see that this approach works well.

If someone posts something that you think is against the T.O.S. ( Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register... ) then report it. Unless you're name is Moderator #(whatever number here sorry I didn't get the color right :( ), Mike Weins, David Hosobuchi, or Dan Hoch, you have no business telling others how, when, what, or where they can post. The T.O.S. is old and a little hard to navigate, I never did get around to re-doing it all of those years ago

If someone is harassing you, then pm a moderator or myself. If you're getting harassing pm's then forward them to myself or a moderator. The forward option is in the lower left corner of the pm in question and looks like this ... <----- click the white space to see the image, I'm too tired to "fix" it tonight

The mods and I don't have time to read each post in every thread, that's why there's an "Report this post" link. We rely on you folks to give us a heads up. If you don't report it, we can't fix it.

Remember, all posters are human and have feelings and bad days. Too many things to list really, but the gist is ... be respectful or gtfo

The following (if it fits) is from about 9.5 years ago, and most of it still rings true.

Hello folks

sarcasm This post may jump around a bit or seem like the ramblings of a drunkard /sarcasm

Everyone is welcome here at BrainTalk. As long as the rules are followed everyone is welcome to stay.

The life of an internet forum is just as life is in the "real world". Every forum has it's ups and downs and each forum is unique. It's members can be from almost anywhere in the world and still have one or more things in common. It's what they have in common that draws them together and helps to form the bonds of friendship and love that spreads like wildfire over the world wide web.

Every post on a forum has a feeling of it's own. Some are upbeat and happy, some are funny and make us smile, some can make us stop and think about things we've never considered before and possibly wouldn't have ever considered had it not been brought to our attention. Some make us cry. Some posts can hurt us because we've been in a similar situation and it brings back painful memories. Other posts can hurt us because of our empathy for our fellow human beings. Still some can hurt us by being abussive, callous, or just down right mean. Occassionally posts such as this are not ment to hurt anyone but to try to convey one's own feelings of hurt. Other times these posts are made to hurt others. These are the posts that we must try ( it's not always possible) to avoid making at all costs. It's these posts that can tear a forum apart and ruin friendships.

Compassion is always stronger than bitterness or anger.

The internets anonymity makes it easier for us to be hurtful towards others. It also allows us to open up in ways we never would be able to face to face with someone else.

It's very hard to respond to posts that hurt us or anger us in an objective manner. Often we lash out and try to hurt or anger the ones that have done so to us. This leads to flame wars, chaos, stress, and in worst case scenarios, loss of the forum we've come to cherish, and the loss of friends we have made along the way.

There are steps we can take to limit the hurtful posts that are impossible to avoid.

You don't have to reply to each and every post/thread made. If you come across one that you think is inappropriate then please report the post to the moderators. "The Report this post" link in the bottom left corner of every post is there for this very reason.

One way is to type out your replies in a third party program (ie word or notepad) and then proof read them before posting them. This isn't as easy to do as it sounds.

Read your reply outloud. If you're ashamed of or angered by what you've just said then do not post it. Again this is not always as easy to do as it sounds in the heat of the moment.

You could always place the poster on ignore. Doing so will keep you from seeing any of their posts and stop them from pm'ing you. You will still see any parts of their posts that others quoted. I will explain the steps at the end of this post.

Another way is to try and place yourself into the other persons situation and try to understand what they're saying and where they are coming from. Again, this is not as easy to do as it sounds. In fact it may be the second hardest of my suggestions.

The hardest thing to do is to not respond to the post at all.

Sometimes the best thing for the moderators and admin to do is....nothing. Let the few turbulent threads run their course and let folks vent. Just because you can't tell if anything is/was done doesn't mean that we aren't aware. Again if you find a post that you think is inappropriate, the best thing is to report it (the red and white triangle) and not respond to it.

The recent "off topic" posts while they may not be everybody's cup of tea, are still valid posts.

Our lives, our beliefs, our feelings, our very souls are represented in each and every post we make.

How to place others on your ignore list in 5 easy steps

• Step 1 click on the User CP link in the upper left corner of every screen.
• Step 2 scroll down the page until you see the Buddy / Ignore lists link on the left side.
• Step 3 click the link Buddy / Ignore lists.
• Step 4 type (or copy and paste) the persons screen name into the Ignore box (the one on the bottom)
• Step 5 click the save list button

Private messages...are just that private. Posting any part of any private message will result in a two week suspension. If you receive a harassing pm, forward it to an admin. DO NOT post about it on the forums. If you are getting pms from someone and you would rather not, place them on your ignore list.

Posting and threads. First of all unless they violate the tos anyone can post on any thread. Secondly, if nobody is responding to you, or not posting on threads you made...oh well. Nobody has to post if they don't want to.

[Catdancer]

I am sorry for any trouble I caused, advertantly or inadvertently. Cat.

[Lazarus]

I posted more than ever yesterday....! I did this to keep moving the board's focus away from the arguments. Turned out that there were some interesting discussions about our common symptoms.

Thanks for your post and attention to these spats.

[SalpalSally]

Mike's our man!!

[Parsi]

I apologize if I fanned the flames. That was not my intent, just the opposite. Again, my apologies.

[Virginia]

Thanks you so much Mike.

[Cherie]

Thank you Mike and good to see you back Cat. And Lazarus was right, I posted more than usual to try and keep things moving and conflict free and there are some interesting threads now in our little corner of the world.

[agate]

I think this board did a fine job of keeping the peace.

Someone who was hurting came to us but may not have felt well enough to deal with a message board just now. I think everyone here understood that and kept their minds and hearts open.