Minimizing

[Sunshine]

People have different ways of responding to others misfortune. It’s an awkward thing.

Like today at a doc office, a well meaning nurse took me in and asked how I’ve been since it’s been over a year. I said my disease has become viscious.

She said she was so sorry to hear this. I liked that response. Then she added, But look, you are still able to walk.

Or like if someone loses a child one might say, At least you have another child.

I get why they do that. It’s due to awkwardness.... But still..
...

[agate]

I've heard remarks like this too. Maybe the people are trying to cheer you up, getting you to see the positive side? Maybe they're afraid that you'll dwell on something negative, and the conversation will become depressing.

There are people who have been taught to be relentlessly cheerful at all times. Many are overdoing it these days, IMO, but that's just my opinion.

[Sunshine]

I had to say to a friend, “you don’t have to cheer me up”, during a time of loss in the past

[Sunshine]

That relentless cheerfullness May mask depression. It’s exhausting

[Virginia]

I've had many of those remarks. I couldn't begin to tell you how many people tell me that I am doing so well with my MS. That is after having asked and me saying "well you know it is progressing". One woman even said told me that I was no worse than I was at first. I am so much worse. That was the most ridiculous statement that I have heard.

I have found that many people minimize MS, by saying things like well, you are still walking, or you seem to be doing fine with your MS. Sometimes they might only have been around me for 5 minutes or less. I usually just don't bother to respond anymore. I think this is one reason I feel fairly comfortable being alone with my books now. It use to would have been very hard for me, but now not as much because I don't have to pretend cheerfulness when I am not up to it.

[nuthatch]

Most times, when someone asks how I am, I answer "I'm okay". I don't want to sound like a downer, after all, it could be much worse, but I also don't want to sound like all is hunky-dory either.

Yesterday I called a friend whose husband is fighting very aggressive brain cancer. I was surprised when he answered the phone, so of course asked him how he's doing. He answered good, then inquired how I was. Good, I said. Then we both laughed at ourselves and admitted we were both just being optimistic and didn't really know how to answer that question! Taking it one day at a time. Isn't that what everyone is really doing. No promises of tomorrow for anyone.
When I think, why me, I remind myself, why not me?

[Pegakafarmgirl]

they may be well meaning in their thoughts,, and give advice,, which I totally get selective hearing,, some people don't think before they speak,,like,, someone once said "MS is a disease that kills people",, is your will made out ?"
I just asked her "are you a doctor ?? are just plain nosey?"

[Sunshine]

Love it!.....

[agate]

Eek, Peg, the person who said that should get some kind of award for cruel tactlessness.