Hope again
What is out there that should give us hope? MS long has been an illness without hope. We may be members of the same club as those living with most neurological conditions. And what about those fighting other diseases? About 33 million of us have at least one chronic condition. We are not alone in our pain and frustration. Hope can be a commodity in short supply everywhere.
Let’s stick with MS. I’m about to have an infusion of Rituximab. I should say, another infusion of Rituximab. I’m told that may slow the progression of the disease process. And it may not. What the hell. I do it. Why wouldn’t I? We take what we can get, and our options are limited. The notion that the drug or any other builds hope to me is magical thinking.
A friend sent me a small rock with the word HOPE carved into it. It was a thoughtful gift. I stared at it for a few minutes. It was noteworthy that she sent a rock. That is exactly what we have to become. Stone is durable and strong. That rock was not a message that something great is coming. No suggestion that the Calvary is on the way. I think the meaning is simple.
Be strong. Tough. I am my own hope. Over the years, I have become a survivor. Haven’t all of us? I have no illusions of anyone discovering a cure in time to change my life. Even a drug to stop MS in its tracks seems distant. My life is what it is. Our children probably will fare better, should they have to travel the same road.
I simply hope to keep going. I hope I can live gracefully with life’s harsh challenges. I want to keep riding the wave, treacherous though it is. For us, life’s victories are small. I understand that. I want to continue the fight and stay upright, literally and metaphorically, as I move forward. I transfer the idea of hope away from myself and to my grown children. They are whom I care about most. I will take care of myself.
What is out there that should give us hope? MS long has been an illness without hope. We may be members of the same club as those living with most neurological conditions. And what about those fighting other diseases? About 33 million of us have at least one chronic condition. We are not alone in our pain and frustration. Hope can be a commodity in short supply everywhere.
Let’s stick with MS. I’m about to have an infusion of Rituximab. I should say, another infusion of Rituximab. I’m told that may slow the progression of the disease process. And it may not. What the hell. I do it. Why wouldn’t I? We take what we can get, and our options are limited. The notion that the drug or any other builds hope to me is magical thinking.
A friend sent me a small rock with the word HOPE carved into it. It was a thoughtful gift. I stared at it for a few minutes. It was noteworthy that she sent a rock. That is exactly what we have to become. Stone is durable and strong. That rock was not a message that something great is coming. No suggestion that the Calvary is on the way. I think the meaning is simple.
Be strong. Tough. I am my own hope. Over the years, I have become a survivor. Haven’t all of us? I have no illusions of anyone discovering a cure in time to change my life. Even a drug to stop MS in its tracks seems distant. My life is what it is. Our children probably will fare better, should they have to travel the same road.
I simply hope to keep going. I hope I can live gracefully with life’s harsh challenges. I want to keep riding the wave, treacherous though it is. For us, life’s victories are small. I understand that. I want to continue the fight and stay upright, literally and metaphorically, as I move forward. I transfer the idea of hope away from myself and to my grown children. They are whom I care about most. I will take care of myself.
Please Note that my posts may have been arbitrarily altered by a Moderator and may not reflect my original content.
Comment