Party room- a place for fun, pity, commiserating, or any other thing you come up with

[Mark N]

Sandi, your MIL has gone through a lot the past few years with her health. I wish she could get medication to deal with her pain as thoracic pain is really bad. I understand you missing when she needs help with her health and getting into the hospital.

Julia, I would definitely want to move to SC if a island isn't possible. I was in Charleston for a week when I was in the Marines and I loved the city. If our stacks do what I hope [not likely to happen but maybe - I took a chance with a few thousand dollars for 3D printer companies] then Penny will get her wish or if we become multi-millionaires LOL then my wish will come true and we will find a place on an island.

The kids and granddaughters are coming over for dinner today. Tyrel was hoping they would be over. Tyrel got a full time job with WalMart this week so that is a blessing. Back to dinner, I asked Emery if she would put on a puppet show and she said yes. I have to get out the theater I made for her, the one she helped paint, and put on a show for her dad and Tyrel that hasn't seen one yet. They have had a problem with her in school because she won't say a word to anyone. She is fine around people that she knows well but very reserved around people she doesn't see very often. The teachers said it took her 3 days to do the testing to see where the kids are. She is very bright but if she doesn't answer questions it is hard to know what she knows. The teachers have found out that looking her in the eye is the wrong way to get her to talk. Of course my parents said I didn't really talk the first 5 years and I was reserved in school. I always thought it was due to moving to so many schools but much of it was my personality. Later as a football coach I talked in front of people with no problem including talking at national clinics and my wife said I should have been a motivation speaker [I could have done that if it didn't keep me from coaching]. Megan is a bit concerned like Penny is but I think Emery will figure out what is going on and talk enough to do good in school.

Another snowstorm is coming through but we are only supposed to be getting mixed precipitation so I guess we will luck out. Out for now.

[sandi1016]

Hi Jo and Mark,
My MIL is still in the hospital.........and not doing well. She called me in a panic the other night, insisting that the nurses had taken her down to the morgue and they wouldn't let her out......she is confused, and in such severe pain, that the medications seem to be making her confusion worse than it has ever been. It took me several minutes to calm her and get her to understand why she is in the hospital and that she is okay.
The night before last, when my husband was there, she kept saying that she wanted to stand up........it was her last wish, and would either make her better or kill her..... it is breaking our hearts to see her in such pain and there is little that we can do to ease it.
They took her down for an MRI yesterday and left her down there for 5 hours.......of course, by the time she came back to the floor, she was in such uncontrollable pain again that the meds did nothing to ease it......
We are a mess, trying to keep positive for her and for each other, but also recognizing that she is not doing well at all. I have never felt so utterly helpless in my life and if there was some way to ease her pain, i would gladly take it, and carry it for her.
please keep her in your prayers and us too , if you are so inclined.
I also finally managed to see that other doctor...........the news was not good, but I was a bit impressed with this doctor none the less. He wants to know why thefu first and second surgeons never bothered to address all of the original spine issues at my first surgery and wants to back track what was not done and why. He is really concerned about how my spine got in the shape it is, and why none of the other issues were addressed in the first place, leading to where I am now. He says that while he can stabilize the spine, he is not so confident about all of the neuro issues since they have existed for so long.........that being said, i knew that anyway. So I need to track down all of the imaging done since 2005 when all of this started, so he can do what he called his anthropological back tracking to see what went wrong and make a plan to try to stablize things.
of course, that means a fusion from l1 or 2, he's not confident that l1-2 disc won't go , and is sure that l5-s1 will so that will be included.......and of course, the CES thing is always an issue. He also said something about there being some inflammation on the vertebral bodies at l3 and L5, s1 as well. i am not sure what that means but guess that i will find out......

[Mark N]

Sandi, sorry to hear what your MIL, you, and hubby are going through and I will keep you in my prayers. It is hard to see others in pain as we know what it is like but often we can't do anything for them. It sounds like your MIL is about where my wife's dad was. Finally he and his wife moved into a place with 24 hour care because his mind was mixed up and she couldn't take care of him and herself. It was tough for the family until he died last year as it seem like something kept coming up putting his life in danger.

The surgeon sure talked about the right things so it seems like he knows how to improve your spine as much as possible. Our friends' brother had terrible results from his spinal surgeries but was able to find a surgeon in Cleveland Clinic that could do a good job and is now doing well without any pain medicine. There is hope if you are willing to go through another big surgery with the chance it won't make life much better for you. I know my wife made a comment that too bad we couldn't afford to go to Cleveland clinic for 3 months and make my spine better and pain gone. I had to remind her that my situation is different because it wasn't the surgeries but the disk that have gone bad as the years have gone on. I have accepted my situation even though I don't like it but we have to be realistic about how much we can improve our spines.

Julia the snow isn't gone yet as we got a snowstorm that dumped 9" in our area, it sure makes the town look pretty though.

Not much going on here other than Tyrel started his job this week. I still use my inclined table to keep my back muscles stretched and relaxed. I can tell a different if I miss a day with it. I am just stuck in the house looking at the snow for now but we are getting warmer weather this weekend and flooding is possible due to all the snow that has been coming down in the middle East and the East this year. Last time I remember so much snow at this time of the year we had bad flooding as rain melted the snow. I hope we just get warm weather to melt the snow and not much rain.

[sandi1016]

Hi guys,
Just an update. My mother in law passed away, two days ago. After battling with the hospital over not giving her pain medications in a timely manner, and not treating an infection in a timely manner, either, we were called to the hospital after leaving an hour or just a few hours after leaving, only to find that some nurse made the decision three times in less than 24 hours not to give her pain medications for extended periods of time.....one almost 13 hours in duration. When her pain was spiking, and not giving her the pain medications, created her confusion and panic.......when she was given her meds, she was able to rest somewhat comfortably.
It is a long story, and one that makes me extremely angry...
I am trying to reconcile that she is not in any pain any longer, but the suffering she was subjected to by some of her caregivers in the hospital is going to lead to us filing a a complaint with the state.
Tomorrow is her wake and then she will be placed with my father in law, on his birthday so that they can be together again......as they were for 35 years.

[Jo6]

Oh Sandi, I am ever so sorry... Like you, I am glad she is not in pain anymore, but it does not make you and your husbands pain go away...... I think I can feel at least a little like you are going thru and what your MIL went thru before she passed on.

I have spent so much time in the hospital starting in 2010. The first stay they did not give me some of my meds. and they caused me to have grand mal seizures. After surgery a couple of times they allowed me to have more seizures. They had my records, my husband and daughter fought them tooth and nail every time they would not give me my meds. They knew which meds. caused the seizures, just no reason at all for the nurses to withhold my meds. I was a horrible time ,my husband hired a sitter 12 hrs. at night so I wouldn't be mistreated. The Dr.s would put on my chart in the morning, how much and when and by late afternoon the fight of the meds started again. I was not allowed out of bed without someone with me at all times.

I have not been in the hospital since July 2014. For that I am thankful. Sandi, my heart aches for the suffering your MIL went thru. No need at all for this to happen. I hope you do report this to the right people. My prayers and thoughts are still with all of you and while you go through this heartbreaking time.

all my love, Julia s

[Mark N]

Sandi, such sad news and to top it off the news about the nurses delaying her pain meds. I thought DRs had come to the conclusion that terminal patients shouldn't be denied pain meds but some hospitals didn't get the message. It is such a barbaric decision that you don't want people to become "addicted" when they won't walk out of the hospital.

Temps have warmed back up and we have had light rain so all the snow is melted. The birds are chirping so that you would think Spring was here.

[Mark N]

The cold weather is back but it will turn around to warmer weather this week. It has been a tough week with pain, sleep issues, and fighting a cold but I hope with the warmer weather coming back things will look better at least. My T4-5 is really acting up and I am hoping for the best that it is just a flare and not a real deterioration. I sure feel it with just a slight movement and that is what bothers me. If it hurt at a constant level I would think it was just muscular and I could let the muscles calm down. With the current change it reminds me too much of the nerve pain that started with my T8-9 before getting much worse leading to surgery. I don't need to try and keep working like I did with T8-9 so surgery isn't even in the picture as I will deal with the increased pain and discomfort.

I hope others are seeing signs of Spring in your area. We are seeing plants pop up out of the soil and pushing right up. Lots of green starting to show and the early bloomers are really growing. It is still too early around here to put out annuals as we still will have too many frost days until the 1st of May. We have our perennials established so we shouldn't be buying too many annuals this year. We just use them as splashes of color to breakup all the green although we do have many flowering bushes. Best wishes everyone as I sign off for tonight.

[Mark N]

We got our plantings and put them out yesterday so most of our work is done. I still need to do some Spring edging and trimming which will take time but people have already been commenting on waiting to see how our flowers look this year. The kids and granddaughters walked over Friday. The little one was in the wagon and Emery was riding her new bike [with training wheels] and was very excited about that. It is nice to have the stop by on their walks as they went to the local drive in/walk in shop for dinner and continue the walk over to our house. Emery came over early at our house before pre-school so I got to play with her while Penny was getting ready for work. We read books, draw pictures, play hide and seek; we also went on a couple of walks one day as Emery says it is her favorite activity.

We kept Penny's boss's daughter the other evening and had the two granddaughters over. The little girl is a peach and when she got out of the car said Hi Penny [the girl has stayed in the office a couple times when the babysitter was sick] and then when she saw me said Hi Grandpa. Her mother says she calls all me grandpa. It was good for our granddaughters because they don't have too many opportunities to play with other kids their age. Penny thought it was cute, so did I, when I help the girl set up the castle and she said Good Job Grandpa.

Tyrel is working at Walmarts car shop and enjoying it better than other jobs he has had. He is saving up money to start up college and he is paying us some rent [far cheaper than any place in our town] just to offset some food cost and utilities not to mention he is using my SUV right now to go to work. He is getting is life in order and it is good to see as he went through a rough spell once he got out of the Army.

Megan and Darrin are doing a good job with their girls and both are good workers doing what they need to pay the bills and keep the girls in clothes as they are growing so fast right now.

[Mark N]

Not a lot going on this week as I had a long sleep to catch up with missing sleep. Still I did get out and plant our flowers and got started with all the trimming and edging to make things look nice. The grass is growing so fast right now I had to mow twice this week. I got a dentist appointment set up to finish up my crown that I was suppose to do last Fall but Penny and Tyrel need crowns and they were in pain where I don't feel pain from mine. I do have several cavities that need to be taken care of, more than I want but that happens with the meds I am on.

Spring seems to have settled in and it is nice to see all the green around here. Dogwoods are in bloom and flowers are starting to bloom so color will be sprouting out soon. We have had a lot of rain this week and now need to see a lot of sunshine so the trees, bushes, and flowers can keep growing.

[Jo6]

Well, it's been a month and nobody has posted here.

Sandi, I think of you often and wonder how you and hubby are doing after the death of your MIL. Just because they have passed on doesn't mean we have already grieved. If anything it is worse in some ways. Please know I am thinking about you all and sending up prayer's for you.

Please take care and hope to here from you soon.

Mark and Penny, I am so happy you are getting to enjoy your granddaughter's. We are enjoying our Great-granddaughter's, and are exspepting our first great grandson in June. We are looking forward to this event.

I hope more will pop in and let us know how they are.

all my love, Julia s

[Mark N]

Hi Julia, I have been visiting every couple of days but got tired of posting to myself. It is good to come here and see you have checked in. At least I know you have been avoiding stays in the hospital lately. I have been struggling a bit as my T4-5 is getting to be a bigger problem. Thankfully it hasn't caused any neurological deficiencies yet so it is just a pain in my back for now. I went over to our daughters house to help install track lighting. I came home and was hurting a lot since I over did it and told my wife I don't know why I lie to myself so much. I keep thinking if I could get a handle on my sleep issues, fat chance of that, I would be able to work again. I just forget about how painful my day is when I try and do some work for an hour or so but it keeps me from feeling so down. I know it is just a defense mechanism and there is no real chance of working or doing any major projects any more. I have even accepted that we need to hire someone to paint our kitchen ceiling as it is beyond what I can do any more.

Julia keep healthy and keep playing with the great grandbabies. Sandi, I hope you and your hubby are hanging in there as it isn't easy to lose a parent.

[Mark N]

Last weekend we had a terrible storm that brought 60 mph winds that did some damage around town. Thankfully we have had better weather this weekend. We have kept the two granddaughters last night and most of this afternoon and evening as their parents were in the wedding party of a friend. Penny took the two girls to the lake and they had a great time. I fixed some chocolate ice cream and they gobbled it right down. Finally Penny took them over to their house to settle into their bedtime routine. She got back home about 10pm tired and ready for sleep. I have been sleeping each night for the past week but so far it hasn't come tonight. I was hoping to keep the streak going as it was good to be up during the days and sleeping at night. Today will be a lazy day for us once Penny gets the grocery shopping done. We don't have anything planned and Penny needs the break. My thoracic spine has been a real pain this past week and I hope it lets up soon. If not I am trying to get a massage scheduled which will help out.

[Mark N]

It has been quiet here in the room. My cat is meowing at me right now as he is starting his morning. I am still recovering from the trip North last month but now I have another trip up North as the State Championship will be recognized for its 20th anniversary. I am looking forward to seeing all the guys once again but I am not looking forward to the trip there and back. I will incorporate a trip to my mom's house which will break the trip up for me.

Tyrel is trying a different bi-polar med and it has been a great change so far. He is happier and seems to be enjoying life more than before. I know the medication he was on before left him exhausted and irritable. It has been a rough stretch trying to get him diagnosed and on the proper medication. Penny went to the park with Megan and her family. Megan took Audyn down the big slide and got her as her leg got caught under her and bent backwards. It happened because she felt Audyn's leg going under her and Megan didn't want to hurt Audyn so mom sacrificed for her daughter. She thought she torn a ligament in her knee but she saw a orthopaedic surgeon who read the MRI and told her no torn ligaments but she did have a torn muscle that should heal quickly. Her GP put her on crutches but the surgeon told her to get rid of them and walk on that leg the best that she can. I hope all are doing well and have your pain under control.

[Jo6]

hello Mark, Sandi and all your families. I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering our families go thru because of ignorant hospital Drs. & nurses.

I have been in the hospital again, with pneumonia and Shingles. A real wicked combo. I'm still trying to keep the COPD at bay and suffering from the Shingles. I almost made it a year with out going to hospital. Of course I went thru the same old fight with pain meds. This time I realized I had to ASK for it or beg for it in order to get it. It took me 8 weeks of PT to get on my feet this time instead of 4. I has been slow go. It is too bad health care people do no do what they need to do. It makes me very sad for all that die because of neglect.

Mark, I'm glad Penny didn't break something, but sometimes something torn is worse than a break. I hope your sleeping is getting better. Sandi, I hope things are getting better for you and hubby in the course of action you decide to take... I get so angry when I think of cases like your MIL's. I have another friend that died in a Nursing Home because of the same type of neglect. So very sad.

Well, got to rest my back. Hope you all have better days ahead.

all my love, Julia s

[Mark N]

Julia, it is good to see you visiting the room again. Sorry you had another spell in the hospital, you sure know how to pick the worse combination of illnesses. I am glad you were able to at least shame them enough to get your pain meds. It is good to hear you are back home and I hope you can stay a while.

Not a lot going on here other than having a big lumbar flare after I fell down last week. It is now settling back down and I hope to have it under control in other few days. My sleep is still messed up again, I sure enjoyed the month I could sleep at night and could be awake most of the day. take care