I have decided God hates me....

[houghchrst]

Naomi thank you. I appreciate hearing from you always. I don't really blame God, not really. I know he isn't doing this to me but I want to know what the heck the point is. I am almost useless physically, not far behind mentally. I feel absolutely useless. I am scared to death and I want to know what He wants me to do, what do I have to do so he will take some, not all I would be happy with some, of this pain, depression and anxiety from me. My mantra is more like 'please, please' as I rock and sob.

As for those who use their religion to judge and point fingers make me angry and are the reason that I don't do organized religion.

I'm a beggar, I beg to be relieved. Yesterday was the lowest I ever got. I have hit my bottom. Only one more step to go and six feet ain't so far down. I probably should be in hospital.

theres always a new day

[Jo6]

Yes darling Christina, yesterday is gone forever tomorrow has yet to come. Today is just that, Today! What we do at the moment is what matters. Thinking about it all that way the burdon doesn't feel so heavy.

I tell you, I was freaked out when Thanksgiving was getting near. I won't go into it here, but Ken had some complications from his eye surgery and had to have one re-done! then thanksgiving night we discovered he had a staff infection. I Know he got it from the needle the nurse had stuck him over and over and even jerking the needle out when she leaned over the bed!!

I was driving all over and I have not been driving too much lately. He wasn't able to do anything to help me and my asthma was really acting up. On & on it went. Thanksgiving morning I was really frantic. My dear sweet daughter came to my rescue!!

All went well , most of the family were here and even though it wasn't like my home cooking I had to cut many things short. Nobody seemed to mind though. I was aching all over like you wouldn't believe. Still am for that matter. lol lol

So, when you get down call me and I promise I won't complain at all, but will listen to you with love. Isn't thats what friends are for? Caring for each other.

I'm very happy you have made much progress and things are looking up for you!!

I love you dear one, Julia (((lil'queenie))))

[Buttons2]

[B]Chris,wrong thread but wanted to say I'm glad you are off the Klonopin. and you do seem to be better since the therapy sessions or whatever they were called. next time you get that down please don't hesitate to seek help!

and Jo,you had one of the most horrid holiday's ever,hope your booby burns are OK! that must really be painful.

I have nothing to complain about today after reading some of the posts here today on BT.

[houghchrst]

Hi guys and thank you.

I am glad to find that I really didn't need the Klonopin that badly and quite frankly my brain is not racing like it was so I am beginning to wonder if that little bitty dose was making things worse after all this time of taking it. I may still have moments when I will wish I had one so am thinking of maybe keeping some on hand just in case of anxiety attacks but not taking it all the time.

I don't know if this can happen but ever since I tried the Saphris I have had almost daily headaches which if left to their own devices will quickly turn into migraines, my severe fibro that keeps my trapezius singing it starting to flare up again. Ever since the short bout with Tegretol I have been having heart palpitations, they are slowly decreasing in frequency though. cant ask the doc cause i aint got no stinkin insurance

I am wondering if my short bout with these two meds or one or the other could have affected the efficacy of my Pamelor which was controlling a lot of my fibro and migraines.

I know if I bring it up to anyone but my psych I will get a 'that just doesn't happen' but my psych knows me and how med sensitive I am so she always leaves the door open for any possibilities.