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    #1

    fifty ways to leave someone

    I do not usually post here, I amusually in the C/P fprum. After twenty years, I am ready to call it over with me and ?S/O. I know i am depressed, I see a psch. and a therapist, niether of which i can go into detail with B/C I am on Pain management and the fear that my meds could be yanked. my ?partner is always talking bad thoughts, she smokes MJ, which is OK, I don't. Founf out her "connection may be into Meth ( a horror story - won't touch it - don't want to be around peop;e that do) anyway, the relationship is getting toxic for me, her wanting to do ... Making me out to be the bad guy, i keep up the house and everything else, she seems to think money grows on tree's - I ask her to stretch a pack of ciggerettets and she smokes more - has to be name brand too. We are both on SSI - the house is paid for , in my name only,thankgod - if I sound cruel, walk in my shoes and I just cannot take it anymore. I am quite ready to scream - a/d's dont work (tried 9). I give up she will have to go and that causes more depression but rhe old question arises - am I better with her or with out her? Got my own sanity, without. sorry to vent but I am crying now, I dom't know how to breakup but I see no other option.
    Blessings
    A.
    Tags: None
    #2
    alex,

    you are such a nice positive person and you recognize this woman is toxic to you and is giving out bad vibes.

    it IS hard to leave someone after 20 years, i know that. i am sure she wasn't like this when you met her 20 years ago, but she has changed. but i think this is just a bad situation waiting to get worse. if she's on meth or hangs out with people on meth, she might let them in the house when you're gone and they can steal your valuables or your pain meds to sell.

    you're supporting her and she's blowing your money up in smoke, almost literally. she's not trying to save you money and worst of all, she's manipulating you to make you out to be the bad guy. she does NOT have an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE!

    alex, i think you're in a situation that might be close to domestic abuse and i want you to please think this through seriously. most people who are in these situations are in the most danger when they start trying to get out. so i'm going to give you some advice, of course you are free to take or leave any of it according to your situation.

    1. find out how you can evict her from your home. you might have to call the county sheriff or you might have to call the civil court in your area and file papers to have her evicted and pay a small fee. if your county allows it, have her evicted in 30 days.

    2. when you know the eviction papers are going to be deliverd to her, have a friend at your house in case she gets angry. this is VERY important.

    3. make sure to say in the eviction papers that the day she moves out and takes her belongings, that she have a police officer of sheriff's deputy with her. you don't want her taking your stuff or bullying you into taking stuff that is your's. also have a friend of your's present that day.

    4. DO NOT tell her what you are doing when you file for the eviction notice, cause she will be on your case until she gets the notice from the sheriff or the court.

    alex, you are such a nice, positive person. you know that what you give out comes back to you. keep giving out light and love and it will keep coming back to you.

    but please leave this woman, cause she's not light and love and i think she's close to dangerous.

    big decisions alex. but i think your health and safety are worth it!

    take care of yourself and i hope you get through this okay.

    light and love to you also,
    jeannie
    Last edited by tic chick; 09-20-2011, 02:54 PM.
    WE ARE BT!
    "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
    "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
    "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

    Comment

      #3
      Tic-Chick - thank you for your support. At this point, I am between a rock and a very hard place due to the fact that she is disabled also and I cannot just throw her out, it's just not in my heart. I don't know what she would do, twenty years is a long time and we do depend on each other. She is not on any hard drugs, I would know, but she gets into my xanax, which means I go without, which is not a good thing. At this point, You have made many good suggestions, ironiccally, way back when, I was a counselor for battered women, and yes men, it happens more then people realize. I am not in that situation, but the emotional toll is telling. I am becoming increasingly bitter, and hateful towards people - something I never though would happen.
      n short, I don't know what to do. I am praying for answers, I am a man of faith. Got to go.
      Blessings
      Alex44

      Comment

        #4
        Alex if you don't have anyone to talk to in person, perhaps you should seek counseling, and eventually (hopefully) couples counseling.
        Question: Why can't I post links or pictures?
        Question: Why can't I have a signature, avatar, or profile picture?
        Question: What's wrong with my account?

        Answer: You are in the "registered users" user group. This group is very limited in what it can do. This will annoy spammers to no end Just keep posting once you have been registered for 30 days and have made 11 posts your account will be "unlocked".

        It's really easy to put someone on ignore and it's strongly recommended that you do so with people who's posts you don't like.

        Step 1 - log in
        Step 2 - click on the "settings" link
        Step 3 - click on the "edit ignore list" link on the left side of the screen
        Step 4 - type (or paste if you copied and pasted it) the username of the person you want to ignore
        Step 5 - click the "ok" button on the right of the screen

        Easy peasy and will lower your blood pressure. One important note though, this won't hide quoted posts. It's an oversight on the developers part and it's not an easy thing to "fix." So if someone quotes someone you have ignored, you'll see the quote.

        Alternatively when you click on a person's name and view their profile page, underneath their avatar, there is a option that says, "Ignore this person". Click that link and then click the yes button.

        Comment

          #5
          Alex I am so sorry. So many hopes and dreams go down the drain, guilt, resentment, anger, helplessness, all these things plus more come in their place. Maybe it is time for the ultimatum. We get help or we separate. Hard to do because her being disabled you do get that feeling of throwing her to the wolves but you have to remember that she is also an adult, she is making choices that are harmful mentally and physically to both of you. She most likely has friends or family that would help her in a pinch.

          As for the Xanax I would consider that a hard drug if it is being abused. Benzos and pain meds are what the kids are killing themselves over these days. If you are being denied a medication you need because of someone else it is illegal, immoral and abusive. Can you consider it abuse if someone passively lets another tamper with their medical care? Yes, I think so.

          I hope you find your strength to weather this storm.

          ((((((((hugs)))))))

          Comment

            #6
            Thank you everyone

            For the wonderful advice. This is a difficult situation that i am in and I don't see a way out yet. I will be talking with her doctor, we have the same one, and I have POA and HS as she does on me. The xanax issue, yes it is a hard deug, but sometimes when she need to calm down, she will take maybe a >5 mg. - she does realize that she gets overwrought , screaming at the world. I am already in therapy, A talk therapist and a psyh. so that is helping. what o meant by hard drugs is she does not touch any illegal street drugs, niether of us do with the exception of MJ, I don't, she does. It is Supposed to be legal here, it was voted on and passed, but the Gov. threw a monkey wrench in the works. I don't see any harm in that, it does calm her down - it is the expense that hurts - She is more underastanding about the finances now - I simply laid it out - said this is what we have and this is what we need done.
            Once again, got to go
            Blessings and tyhank you
            Ales44

            Comment

              #7
              Lest anyon misunderstand

              in my previous post, I wish to clear up a FEW THINGS. i AM TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT. SHE MAY TAKE .5MG OF THE XANAX ONCE IN A WHILE. i DO NOT AGREE WITH THE mj - i DON'T SMOKE AND WON'T. tHANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING. i ONLY HAVE ONE COMPUTER NPW SOP i HAVE TO KEEP IT SHORT.
              bLESSINGS
              aLES44
              Last edited by alex44; 09-22-2011, 05:29 PM. Reason: SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS - MY BAD - ALEX

              Comment

                #8
                alex ,

                it's been almost 2 months since you last wrote on this subject.

                have things gotten any better?

                just wondering, cause i care,
                jeannie
                WE ARE BT!
                "The world is a better place when you're barefoot." Mark
                "Don't go there unless you know the way back." TC
                "...there will be an answer. Let it be." Paul McCartney

                Comment

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