What would YOU do?

[alex44]

Thank You - I am now in the weeds - I don't know how Hospice feels about using other things(legalll where I am) scared to ask, they don,t check and I am responsible with use - only when it gets emotionally bad, trying to stay connected to friends, not easy, talked to VA primary today, she said it has metazizes so I may have even less time, don't know, waiting for answer is hard, Gotha go.
Edited to say - this is recent - and it was only after a great deal of thought. NO - I will NOT repeat any of the rest of my past - I am still conflicted over this choice and even more spiritually conflicted over my choice to not fight. - though it will not change.
Blessings to all
Alex44

[houghchrst]

Alex you may be surprised how hospice feels about CBD, which with straight CBD, it does not contain THC so you can't even drop dirty. They are there for palliative care and if it is legal I am sure you would not be the first or only person to ask. My aunt had cancer and they did home hospice and they let her smoke THC for the pain and appetite. That was in the 80s. I would discuss it with someone and make it more of a query instead of a 'this is what I am going to do'. I will tell you that a little bit of THC in your CBD can have huge added benefits but some people don't like the way it makes them feel or object to its use.

I hope hospice is keeping you comfortable, I hope your faith is comforting you. Stop with the guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty about. God is with you and all around you. Don't forget to look around you and be comforted by his presence. Listen to the sound of the wind in the trees, or the rain on the roof. Go watch a sunrise somewhere high. I like our local parking ramp LOL. Keep at his side and he will calm your spirit. Listen to your favorite songs, loud, and sing at the top of your lungs. Start that book you always wanted to read. Keep busy, well as busy as you can. Maybe once a week do something you always wanted to do. Doesn't have to be major, like leaving the state but doing little things you always wanted to try. Maybe a restaurant, or a little store you wanted to visit. Buy yourself something that makes you happy.

We are here for you Alex. Great big (((((HUGS)))) to you and some healing prayers.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

MMJ is legal in your state, so you don't have to be paranoid about using it. The goal of Hospice is to keep you comfortable and meet your needs, whatever they are. You are battling metastasized cancer. I can't imagine your physicians or nurses having a problem with you using THC and CBD.

Jim's oncologist actually mentioned that Jim might try cannabis. As he chewed on a CBD candy, Jim replied, "I already am." His oncologist totally supported cannabis for Jim (and likely all of his patients).

You are in charge of your body, and the choices you make. No one can tell you what you can or cannot do now. Why are you conflicted about using MMJ? It is medicine, from the Earth, from God.

Many pharmaceuticals are patterned after plants, herbs, flowers, using chemicals to artificially replicate them.

Please let go of whatever you're holding onto from your past. This is now. This is where you are now.

Whatever you need now, God wants you to have. Pray for Divine Guidance, for reassurance, for strength to face every path before you, for forgiveness, for His Light and His Love to rain down upon your Spirit and bring you peace.

Remember your breathing and relaxation visualization tools, and use them often throughout the day and night. Whenever you feel anxious and afraid, lay down and breathe and visualize your entire body relaxing from head to toe.

My heart breaks, because I know how difficult this is for you.

I continue to pray for you and I send you positive, healing energy.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[alex44]

Thank ALL of ya'll.
Blessings
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Here are some video meditations from Silent Unity:

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

Over the decades, I called Silent Unity many times during a crisis, and a wonderful, loving, compassionate person prayed for my loved ones and me. A blessing and so comforting. You can contact them here:

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

Here are YouTube videos of R. Carlos Nakai, a renowned Native American flutist. For many years, his music guided Michael, Jonathan, and Jim on their journeys.

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

May you be surrounded with the Peace, Love, and Light of God. Remember: Wherever you are, God is!

Prayers continuing for you ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[Mike Weins]

I'm with Rose, acquire some quality THC either in the liquid form or the capsules and use as needed. When my grandma went into hospice in the early 2000's the hospice asked her if she wanted them to acquire some THC for her since it wasn't yet legal in CA. She refused for a while and then tried it out and it helped in the last weeks she was with us.

[alex44]

Indeed - Hugs to ALL. Thank you everyone, Later
sorry
Blessngs
Alex44
( I get to emotional at this point)

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Being emotional is quite understandable. Just know that we're here for you, if you want to unleash some of that emotion. We're here to support you in any way that we can.

Writing about how you're feeling is quite therapeutic. So, if you don't feel comfortable sharing here, then start a journal for only your eyes to see. It may help you to cope.

You continue to be in my prayers.

God Bless You!

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[alex44]

Thank all of ya'll. I have been very down and having taken a fall the other night, I have balance issues, I hurt even more and that stinks. I USED to think if i had access to all the meds i could use, life would be better. WRONG. Hospice is very good in that respect, and I discussed my concerns about how much i use of them with the nurse today - it's all about balance - If I take enough to be basicly free of pain, I am useless - My motivation is already down, I have no energy (could be the diabetes, Or i use enough to tamp the pain down - Balance is key. My appattite is gone although I have ways to stimulate it. Thank ya'll. Ironically, I used to love to drink. Those days have been behind me, Now I drink socially, if at ll, and now that it really does not matter, there is no desire - which makes my doc happy. I am sorry if i am rambling, today has been a mess today - Hoping for a better tommorow.
Blessings to all
Later
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

I am so sorry that you fell. What did your Hospice nurse say about your fall?

Your balance issues could be associated with your pain meds, or with malnutrition or dehydration. I hope your Hospice nurses are keeping track of your weight and hydration.

It is best if you avoid alcohol, as combined with your pain meds, it could become problematic. Also, as you know, alcohol is hard on the liver.

Cancer draws a large amount of energy out of you, in addition to the stress and the meds. Are you taking a multivitamin and additional Vitamin D3? That might help, as well as food. Do you need a meal delivery service?

Are you maintaining contact with friends either by internet or phone? Are there people close to you, who can come to help you out or just visit to help you feel less alone? Are you connecting with your pastor?

I hope that today was a better day for you, dear friend.

You continue to be in my prayers, and I send you healing, positive energy.

Don't worry about rambling. Just let it all out. That's healthy and good for you.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Thank You - I am going to get Meals on wheels as my diet is poor. Right on about the alcohol - I rarely drink now - too many issues so best I don't now. Thanks for the reminder on the Vitamins, I was not aware of how much energy I would lose. So far, I need to ask Hospice for more support, as I don't have a Spiritual guide but am keeping the faith.
Blessings
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Yes, please ask Hospice for more support. They have to know what your needs are to be able to provide the resources to meet them.

Hospice should be able to assist you in getting meals delivered, aides to help you in your home, and whatever you need to keep you safe and comfortable.

Many prayers for strength and healing are on the way for you ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Rose - Yes, I have asked and will be getting more support. I have asked to have my anti-depressant reviewed and changed as I am depressed even more so since I was told I have to get rid of one of my vehicles, Probably the Rodeo, My weekend warrior 4WD. This on top of they want me to consider moving to an in-patient facility. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The truck, I can manage, although a second vehicle is nice since both are old and will get needy. I also can get in home care. that will work. I am trying to stay close to my neighbor, she is great, s is my Housemate, so I have people around me. Thank You and blessings to all - Ya'll are in my prayers too.
Blessings
Alex44

[agate]

Too bad you had a fall! I have diabetes too and it's been impressed on me that it's really important to pay attention to the type of shoes and even socks you wear. You're probably eligible for diabetic shoes. I wear them along with diabetic socks. At first this seemed unnecessary to me but I've had foot problems that I never noticed until they'd become fairly advanced and gradually realized that there are good reasons why the doctors stress foot care. Better shoes might help to prevent falls.

I'd like to know your opinion of the Meals on Wheels. I've lived for years in a building where quite a few of my neighbors get Meals on Wheels.Some people continue on them for many years but others have given up because they didn't like them. There are alternatives out there but the other options I know of are more costly.

I know you've been having an uphill battle but you're solving problems as they come along. This board is still here for you.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

That's wonderful that you have reached out and are able to receive more support and care.

I'm sorry, but what do you mean that you have to get rid of one of your two vehicles? Who is requiring you to do that, and why? Are you supposed to sell it, donate it, or give it to the government?

Please know that I do understand that you don't want to give up your vehicle(s), and that you want to continue to drive. You want to retain your independence. I do want to caution you that given the medications you are taking, it is probably not safe for you to drive. You might endanger yourself and others.

You need to continue to stress your strong desire to stay in your home and not be moved to an in-patient facility. No matter which agency is footing the bill for your care, in home care if far less expensive than in-patient care. Be adamant that you want to stay in your home, Alex.

I am grateful that you have your neighbor/housemate to help you. I just want as many people, who can help you, to surround you with love and care.

You remain in my prayers, and I send you healing, strengthening, positive energy always ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!