What would YOU do?

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Just stopping by to check in on you. I hope you will post soon to update us on how things are going for you. It must be so stressful.

Throughout our journeys, Michael, Jonathan, Jim and I found peace and comfort in the music of Native American flutist, R. Carlos Nakai. His version of "Amazing Grace" is exquisite.

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May you feel God's Grace surrounding you every moment.

My love and prayers are with you ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Rose - Thank you. I am currently in a state of shock. I entrusted two people to talk to. I did NOT want this thing out there. I found out last night that someone has let people in and I know who. I am floored. I have feelings I don't know how to process. While I appreciate the concern, I have also found how true people can be, and I am having a hard time. I am still waiting on Meals on Wheels to get back to, so my diet has been poor, and then then last night, I witnessed someone close to me get physical with their Boyfriend, even as a counselor, and I have worked with domestic abuse in my ministry, there was nothing I could do, they are both Much bigger then I am so all I could do was to be there for her. This adds to my feelings. I am praying s lot and meditating aa lot and working with the hospice Chaplain and may also ask or grief counseling as it is getting very real that, while I have no time - line I am fading. And to top everything of, I was at a function last night ad hd to ask my ride ( I seldom drive anymore - that stinks too - I remember having to ask for a ride home - People were not happy but I got home - what a bummer - that and someone was very rude to me, uncalled for, and I am not sure I een knew he person. while yes, I made the mistake of taking a new med, and then going to the party was a mistake, did not want to go but went at the urging of friends - won't happen again. Thank all of you - I will hang in there.
Blessings
Alex44

[alex44]

Hi All - Forgot to add, The VA has stepped up to the plate and my Psychrititrist has added a "A light stimulant" an adhd(sp) drug for what she called Cancer Fatigue. I have tried it, it did bring me up, not in a bad way, but I have very mixed feelings about this drug. I have a past. nuff said. Hard drugs SCARE me, I will NOT except what the Dr. gives and sometimes I look a little sideways at those. I qm wondering if i am not accepting things as I know them to be, I guess i am just reluctant to admit that I need all these Rx's but the relief is a good thing. I will continue to see everyone available and keep my social network together - I do have support, but it's hard.
Thank ALL of ya'll
Blessings
alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

As you described the events associated with the party, you are wise to avoid those kind of gatherings in the future. Stress is quite unhealthy. You don't need other people's drama now. And, your friends should be showing you compassion and gladly offering you a ride anywhere you need to go.

It is difficult to take so many different medications, all having various side effects and interactions. Jim's health care providers were astounded that he was not taking any RXs, before he was diagnosed with cancer. Most people his age were taking numerous RXs. But after his diagnosis, the prescriptions just kept rolling in.

Accepting your diagnosis is a monumental challenge, Alex. I am sure that everything you are feeling is quite typical for all cancer patients, as well as patients with other serious diseases. Please share your feelings with your hospice Chaplain, and do ask for a grief counselor as well. You need and deserve all of the support you can get.

Please continue to contact Meals on Wheels, and ask your Hospice nurse to intervene on your behalf. You should have a nutritionist on your medical team, who should be able to help you secure the food you need. Don't hesitate to ask for help, Alex. You deserve and need all of the help available.

You are in my prayers.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Thank You and know that I am working to get Meals on Wheels set-up as I am not eating a healthy diet. I have NO appatite but i have mentioned brfore I have something to spark it so to speak. This is not by choice, as I have VERY good reasons to avoid drugs, I take what the Dr. Rx's and.. a little bit of appetitite stimulas. I am still very conflicted on the use of what they call a "light stimulant" for what they call Cancer Fatigue, an AHDD(SP) as i have said before, I have a past, but a HALF a pill, winds me up. I am wondering if the effect is cumulative as it does seem to affevct me now. I am doing a LOT of meditation, Prayer and I plan to speak to the chaplain again, SOON. It's Scary but my Faith Will Sustain me. found a ew place to go. Thank Everyone in this Forum. I reviewed Previous posts - thank Everyone here i am working to build my Nutrition and my Spiritual faith, which i already have. I would rather be rich in spirit then in material things, and that s my goal. thank you my friends, Until Later - thank ALL of ya'll.
Blessings
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Someone on your medical team should be setting up Wheels on Meals for you. Do you have a nutritionist? A social worker? You might see whether there is a Cancer Society near you, which you could call to find out what resources are available to you. Your pastor might also know of resources. There may be volunteers, who can bring food to you. It's worth asking.

Your Hospice nurse(s) should also be helping you in this regard. Let your Hospice nurse know how you feel about the anti-fatigue drug. How often does a nurse visit you?

You need to leave behind the stigma of your appetite stimulus. It is legal and has been used by cancer patients for many years as medicine.

How are you feeling physically? Are you in pain? Are you retaining fluid? Have you had any blood work done recently? Your fatigue could be caused by low white and red blood cell counts and platelets. You might need iron infusions (done by IV at the hospital). It depends upon how Hospice works. Or you might benefit from an iron supplement. Better nutrition is also a factor. More things for you to discuss with your Hospice nurse(s).

You continue to be in my prayers ~ God Bless You ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[alex44]

Thank You Rose - More later where I will answer = just not well at the moment but wanted to thank you.
Blessings
Alex

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

I understand completely, dear friend.

Here is today's Daily Word:

Rest

I REST IN THE DEEP PEACE OF GOD.

My body gives me the power to exercise or perform physical work, and I reward it with rest from labor. My mind uses its creative energy to solve problems and formulate solutions. I nurture my busy mind with time in the Silence and meditative stillness. As I rest my body and mind, I find deep, rejuvenating peace in God.

So much more than mere indulgence, restful interludes are necessary for my body and mind to function optimally. I do those things that help me to let go and release the busyness of my day.

I find my deepest rest in God, where I am closest to Spirit in my mind and heart. I release what is and what will be in faith that the divine presence within is the source of my good.

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.—Matthew 11:28

You are in my prayers, and I send you positive, healing energy.

God Bless You ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

OMG - Thank You
alex44
Blessings
A.
Morelater

[alex44]

I dont know what to say. I have not been feeling well lately. No, I am not in pain, Hospice see's to that. I have successfully gotten Meals on Wheels bringing me a dinner. Really good people and good meals too. As they are a non-profit, I WILL donate what I can, other folk need help too. I am working on nutrition, usually one or two Generic ensures a day. Yes, I do use things to spark my apatite, I have none. My labs, who knows? It being the VA, I will only have these at an external facility. Where I am in control(I Hope). I am not doing well. I am trying to work with the VA as to my state of mind. It's no good when NOBODY will tell you what is going on in you OWN body. I am keeping a Blog, this is a new experience, a moving on , so to speak. Thank ALL of yall for the support - wish I knew more, trying to live each day to the fullest.
Blessings
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

I am so very sorry that you are not feeling well. Is your Hospice nurse helpful in guiding you toward feeling better? Your Hospice nurse should be in charge of your labs/testing and any reports on your condition, as well as in contact with your oncologist.

That is good news that you now have Meals on Wheels, with good food and nice people delivering to you. Ensure is okay as a supplement, but Orgain is much healthier, as it is plant based protein. You can order Orgain on line, but some grocery stores carry it too, usually stores which carry a lot of organic food. Orgain was developed by a physician, who is also a cancer survivor.

Your blog is an excellent idea, Alex, as writing is therapeutic. It helps just to get it out of your head/heart and into words.

Today's Daily Word:

Divine Order

I PLANT SEEDS OF HOPE AND HARVEST THE FRUIT OF SUCCESS.

To harvest ripe fruit, I must first plant a tree in nurturing soil where it can get sunshine and rainfall. The tree must grow strong before the fruit appears and is ready to eat.

Likewise, when I wish to harvest the fruits of my efforts, I begin by taking good care of myself. Tending to the well-being of my spiritual self aligns me with the truth that I am a divine being, endowed with the strength, wisdom, and love of God. Before any undertaking, I ground myself in that truth, ready to take the steps necessary to bring my efforts to fruition. With patience, I plant the seeds of my success and wait with a grateful, expectant heart for the results of my labor to yield their fruit in season.

So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.—2 Corinthians 4:16

You are in my prayers, and I ask God to give you strength, wisdom, and His Love.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Thank You and god Bless. I am working on my will and trying to figure out hat to do with the house and things in it. A very sad time. I am ecoming more detatched as time goes on, Socialization is becoming harder, I had four invites this saturday nite - i accepted none - it was the anniversary of my wifes pssing and had i gone out, it would not have been a mess, I would have gotten trashed and I dont do that anymore - I drink little to none, when i do go out, I am usually the designated driver - Fine by me. Anyway, things are going along - and thank you for the inspirational material - it helps.

Thank You
Blessings
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Are you consulting a lawyer for your will? Do you have someone to serve as the Executor? Have you considered a Trust instead of a will? A lawyer could explain the difference to you. You will need someone to serve as Second Trustee for you.

You are wise to avoid social gatherings now, where you will be exposed to people drinking excessively. Of course, you wanted and needed to be alone on the anniversary of your wife's passing. Also, you need to remember that you are vulnerable to any and all germs, more so now than ever, as your immune system is compromised. So, it's in your best interest not to be in large gatherings.

Try to focus on yourself and what you need and what needs to be accomplished for the future. Donations are always appreciated by any charity. So, you could donate your furnishings, clothing, etc. to a charity. Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc.

I know that this is difficult for you, and I am praying for your strength to make these decisions and choices now.

Be good to yourself, rest, and find peace in God's Grace.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[alex44]

Thank You - These are all things i am thinking of. I don't know about the house. I plan to leave it housemate - she is a hard worker and good people along with the Contents. I have gotten a lot more upfront with people, I used to be quite diplomatic, I still am, but when I get to enough is enough, I surprised some people when this one person pushed me too far, And asked them to leave - this been an ongoing situation. I am still working on getting more energy, any natural energy energy (I hate pills) suggestions would help. I am working to improve my diet and nutrition. Brain fog is getting worse, more senior moments - Oh Well. I can tell I am in decline, it's just getting ......
Blessings Thank you to all
Alex44

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Alex)))))) ~

Whatever you decide to do with your home and furnishings, please be sure that it is legal. You can have a holograph will, which you write by hand, however, your estate will go through probate, and it could be difficult for the person to whom you bequeath anything. You need a lawyer to protect your interests and ensure your desires are carried out. If you don't have a lawyer, I recommend that you ask your pastor for a referral or assistance in finding one.

Please don't feel bad about turning away anyone, who is not caring and compassionate toward you. This creates more stress for you, and stress gobbles up your energy. So, if you want more energy, choose your visitors carefully. And don't tolerate any abuse from anyone in any manner.

Your memory and your strength and energy will wane as a result of the cancer, the meds, and lack of nutrition. Please discuss all of this with your Hospice nurse. I recommend Orgain over Ensure, but getting that might require your Hospice nurse's assistance.

From the Daily Word:

For you shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.—Isaiah 55:12

Now is the time for you to rely on God, to ask for Divine Guidance, the strength to do what you need to do, and for peace in your soul.

Blessings upon you Skypilot! I send you healing prayers and ask God to hold you close to His Heart.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!