What's happening? Part 3

[agate]

Chris, I'm glad if things are improving for you. You're starting in on some new treatment plans with the psilocybin and the TM, and I hope they will be helpful.

It sounds good that you now have the new caregiver arrangement too. For years I had a helper (in WA state I was eligible), and some of the helpers were working for relatives as well. I believe that their pay was the same as it was for other clients, and it seemed to work well. You did hear of situations where a family member who was a caregiver was taking advantage of the client but those were often clients who were all too easily taken advantage of.

As for the large number of users online who show up on this board, most of them are bots, not real people. If you look at the Member List, you'll see a bazillion user names that aren't real. A lot of the user names with 0 posts are just bogus registrations.

[clouds z]

psilocybin is legal now?

[houghchrst]

Yes, psilocybin is becoming legal in more and more places. The mental health benefits have been studied and proven again and again. I am in Michigan and there are only a couple of places here where it is legal to purchase. Besides those few places, it is illegal. Oddly enough spores and kits can be purchased and mailed across the world but it is illegal to put the two together and grow. You can buy a couple of syringes and inject your substrate and when it's ready you add light and they grow. Once they grow you can collect the spores from the mushroom cap and make your own solution and never have to purchase again. You dehydrate them, grind them up into a fine powder, and measure out whatever dosage weight you take. You can also buy kits that will fill capsules.

They are also using Ketamine for pain and mental illness, MDMA (ecstasy), LSD, and DMT for mental illness with incredible results. Far better than any medication. My pain management office offers Ketamine but insurances don't pay for the medication. They may pay for the clinical part of the session but will not pay for the infusion medication and it is very expensive. That often needs booster doses. Some people do a Heroic Dose of one or the others and only need to do it once and have an experience that cures them. I plan to micro because I am using it not only to help my anxiety and depression but get off of the many meds, quit smoking and hopefully since I will have less stress my pain will mellow.

I also have started tapping. I first heard about tapping from Brandon's stepdaughter a few years back. Her grade school class was practicing mindfulness and tapping. I didn't pay much mind at the time but continued to hear it mentioned occasionally. So I downloaded an app on my phone that teaches what tapping is and how it works. It has short sessions for different issues along with guided affirmations which I like to call my little brainwashing moments. Oddly enough I went to PT yesterday and she actually used tapping and slow massage of the face points. Trying to reduce stress to combat my pain and inflammation.

Pain was really bad for a few days so my primary told me to come in and she has given me a couple of prescriptions for Lidocaine and Diflocenac and a shot of Toradol and a shot of PRednisone. I am really grateful for them because they dial the pain down to manageable levels. But here it is three days later and now the sciatica in my right hip is really bad.

Trying to learn to compartmentalize my pain, trying to keep out of the suffering/self-pity mindset and not let the pain rule my mood and emotions during the day. Now first thing in the a.m. and end of the day when I first get in or out of bed my body adjusts and it brings me to tears so I let them flow for a couple minutes then begin my routine of mitigating my pain. I love that time of day when I am in my room for the evening. I can retire any time between about 5:30 and 7:30. Do whatever I want, not feel obligated to always be doing something even when I know I can't, and not have to worry when the phone rings.

Oh gosh it seems like there was something else. But after that last post I'm sure y'all are sick of hearing it.

[hannah44]

I remember you from way back. I used to post as Marijo years ago. In those days I used to put up paintings and poems etc. a lot of water under the bridge. Interesting reading various pieces about medications etc. years and years ago my pain doc put me on fentanyl patches and told me I’d be on them for life, along with oral fentanyl and tramadol. At one point he offered me ketamine. In short I still had chronic pain…….lots of it, following one failed and four other back surgeries, which resulted in nerve failure, and total pelvic floor collapse and pelvic clearance and loss of my large bowel and all the other stuff that goes with it….buy hey, I’m still here and singing! Well doing my best. My family were not happy about the medications, neither was I and initially I tried cold turkey with disastrous, painful, and very very unpleasant effects. I was quite ill! A bit later I tried another way, by cutting a minute slice off my patch gradually over a long period of time. I didn’t think this could be done but then I found out that this was possible with my type of patch so. I went from 75mcg to nothing over many weeks, without any withdrawal at all. Then the surgeon told me to take more pain killers before he would consider further surgery, but I have now given up all opioids, so he can stuff that advice..I have a prescription for legal cannabis, which is very good indeed for sleep, and therefore relaxing and pain relief, but it’s horrifically expensive, but I don’t take alcohol, or smoke, or spend money on much else. Fentanyl has been getting incredibly bad press over the last few years and this worried my family a lot.
It’s good to still see one or two familiar names anyway. Very best wishes. Marijo

[agate]

So you are marijo? I do remember that name.

So many people here have histories involving intolerable pain, and it sounds as if you've been coping with quite a lot lately. Avoiding smoking and alcohol will probably give you considerable help in overcoming the problems you've been having. There are mountains of evidence that staying away from both those habits is very helpful.

Hope you'll visit more often. This board might vanish if people don't help to keep it going.

Take care, and I hope 2024 will bring you better health.

[hannah44]

So good to hear from you. I was very interested to read what you had written regarding pain and dealing with it. It’s a very personal battle isn’t it. I must admit I got mad with the pain management consultant when he just threw drug after drug at me with no thought at all for the holistic aspect of the management. Now I use a combination of breathing relaxation and tapes etc to try and bring a level of control back.
Last year my husband died after a dreadful battle lasting 9 years with blood cancer and a few others just thrown in. Honestly though you would never have known really that he was ill apart from the blood transfusions, bruises, etc. he never complained, we had some brilliant holidays, then latterly, in 2022 he went downhill, we both got Covid, and he died relatively quickly. He had just been accepted for a clinical trial of a new wonder drug as well. We were all totally devastated. Had been together just 3 months short of 50 years. I miss him dreadfully. My family is great though and very supportive so I am lucky I guess.
may I wish you, and all who visit here also, a good 2024.

[houghchrst]

Welcome back Marijo!! Good to see you here! I am so sorry about your husband.

Well, I have started my microdosing journey. I have been four days on so today starts my three off. I must admit that I actually feel amazing. I had already set the framework before I started by implementing some practices that were taught to me. Which had already made an incredible difference in my mood alone. I noticed that the dosing went a long way in quieting the background 'noise' in my head. Now my mind is trying to ruin my bliss by trying to convince me that there is something that I should be doing but I think it is because that is the way my ego has always worked. Keeping me on edge, anxious, and depressed because I always had this feeling that there was something important I was missing or that needed doing. Now I have learned to recognize what is happening and calm myself. There is nothing. Nothing is needed that would warrant any need for urgency. Taking a snow day today and dinner is in the crockpot. I am journaling every other day or so. Keeping track of how things go in case I need to tweak my dose or schedule. Still listening to Dr. Dave's podcast at Microdose U, reading the book by the author who is helping me, for the third time LOL. He emailed me his manuscript so I wouldn't have to buy the book. He knows I'm poor LOL. One of his books just made the New York Times bestseller list. I got very lucky when I found him. He is friends with Dr. Dave and they are both in Dave's Messenger group for Microdose U. He invited me to his personal group with other like-minded people who are also on their journey.

My pain, well let's just say it isn't gone but it is less, is manageable. I have been able to cut way back on the meds and just use the topical a few days a week. I no longer spend my days in tears. It is amazing the mind-body connection. My neurosurgeon/pain management clinic texted me wanting to know if I have found a new pain management doctor. LOLOL. I told her there was no point and then proceeded to inform her that I am well aware of what the government, and the DEA, are doing and the doctors are too terrified to prescribe pain meds. Even the pharmacies are pressured and some pharmacists are just assholes. The ER isn't even giving out pain meds unless you are mortally wounded and I will be seeking out other means of treatment. I have not heard back. I don't think most people even know what is going on.

So I have my morning mantra, short and sweet, and then I am to watch a funny video for 15 minutes at least. I watch the animal videos on YT. Then I start my day. I used to feel silly saying the mantra out loud but it works. Then not long after that I do music therapy, lol I made that one up. I have a playlist of over 200 songs and I pop in my headphones, crank it all the way up, and sing and dance. That is my exercise in the morning. Dancing. Then in the afternoon, I am trying to incorporate TM and since I naturally stimulate my Vegas nerve and that was on my schedule, instead I have added research on Pineal Gland stimulation. If I nap I do a different kind of meditation and a sound bath, earbuds with heavy rain playing. I started with thunderstorms at first but I love them and it wasn't effective for napping or meditation LOL. I feel amazing after my naps. It is like a reset. Used to be I would nap hard for like an hour and a half then when I woke up I felt crappy. I always had a big lunch before them too. I don't do that anymore. I only eat once a day and that is dinner. 80 pounds gone. In the evening I usually have some kind of bible class or study after I watch a movie. Things are going pretty well.

If anyone is interested Dr. David Madow does Microdose U YouTube videos and also has a podcast by the same name. The link to his Messenger group is under the same name and can be found on his videos and I believe maybe his podcast info.

Trip Maxwell who is the author has a FB group called Chop Wood. Carry Water. Practical Spirituality. He too practices spirituality in the Eastern tradition. Yep definitely hit the jackpot.

I did something I probably shouldn't have Friday night but I will leave that for another post. No worries.

[agate]

Marijo (hannah44), I apologize for not finding your post until a month later. That is really disgraceful, but I've been fairly busy all month with a record-breaking ice storm and a power outage, followed by a major phone problem as well as a lingering chest cold.That's my excuse, anyway.

I'm so sorry you lost your husband. His passing must have been a very painful time for you, and I'm sure you miss him every day.

Chris, you've dropped 80 pounds???? That is a considerable weight loss. I hope that doesn't mean you're now too thin.

[houghchrst]

Hey all!!! Just wanted to pop in and say hi and let you know I am doing great. I start my third session of four days on with microdosing tomorrow. We have been dabbling with dosage. So what I have is strong so I am only at 30 mg to start.

Its not so much the microdosing as the mind change that needs to come before and as you are dosing. It is not a magic bullet. I thank God that I met my facilitator. He is helping me for free. One of his books just made the bestseller list. He's releasing another in a couple of months. The group I am in is wonderful. I can't remember the last time I felt this good.

My pain is still here but it is so much less. And since I have lost so much weight my ankles and knees last much longer. Oh no Agate LOL, I am a big girl, I would be happy to lose another 50. Still not perfect but I am sure much healthier. My thoracic/mid back still gives me the most trouble but that depends on what I am doing. Sometimes my neck hurts and will give me a mild headache but the neurosurgeon said that is from the muscles in my back. I don't have any impingement in my neck. My pain has changed, the way I look at it and feel it. It is so much more tolerable.

I do my mantra every morning and I am required to watch a funny video like animals for at least 15 minutes before I do anything else on the computer. I try to journal at least every other day. I try not to use negative language like, I wish, I want, I need, I hope. I also am working on meditation. We were recommended a meditation video on YT. Did I say the author was also a Yogi? So we get a lot of that culture in our mind work. It is absolutely amazing what the mind can do.

I don't know if anyone knows who Joe Dispenza is but I have seen bits and pieces of his videos and speaking engagements here and there more recently. I saw something about him saying he healed himself and I was like what? So I went a little deeper and this man was seriously injured. They told him he would never walk again. He laid in his hospital bed and meditated, imagining each vertebrae healing itself. At the end of ten weeks, he walked out of the hospital. Incredible. So I am going to dig a little deeper and see if I can't do something about this oral dyskinesia I have. Start small. Wish me luck LOLOL

[agate]

Chris, your weight loss is an inspiration to anyone with a weight concern.

I was puzzled at first when you said you were trying not to use negative language like "I wish" or "I hope" or "I want." At first those seemed positive to me because they are future-oriented and looking forward to something good.

But hoping and wanting and wishing aren't really so positive, are they? If you don't go around wishing for things, you'll never be disappointed. It's probably not helpful to keep finding the grass to be greener on the other side.

Is this why "I wish" or "I hope" or "I want" is negative? I can understand that "I need" is negative because it's generally not a good idea to be feeling needy but the other examples were the ones I had to think about.

[houghchrst]

I am very much learning about living in the now. Our lives are a series of nows. If we wish, or want, we are not in the moment that is gifted to us. It creates longing and often adds to depression and anxiety whether looking at the future or dwelling on the past. The past does not matter. What matters is what you do now. There is always forward motion. Yes, there are things that I feel that would make me happier and the two are home and finances. They used to bring me so much daily grief and negativity that I was blocking good things that were supposed to come to me. I have learned a lot about the Creator and Jesus's actual intention, what it all meant, and spirituality and mysticism and the energy that we are and will always be. Frequencies that everything puts out including thoughts. That the body can heal itself. So much of this I have looked at from a distance, half thinking it pseudoscience, still seeing a shrink and taking pills. Then I decided to start my microdose journey. And my teacher very much follows Eastern Religious beliefs and teaches how to block the ego. If we can block our ego that is constantly yelling me, me, me, I want, I need, dwelling on past things, and worrying about future events, then we become a vessel.

I am taking classes with my holistic healer still. Learning the Bible translated from the Aramaic. I just can't express my dismay at the difference, the transformation, the mistranslations that there are between learning the Bible's culture, mysticism, and understanding it from Jesus's time and the KJV that people swear by. I feel like I have been robbed of something wonderful for over 50 years. The joy I have now with the connection is incredible.

[houghchrst]

I wanted to add that there is nothing wrong with looking at a positive future event. A visit, a vacation, even a movie that’s coming out. It’s fear of the future that brings negativity. Dr Dispenza says that when we think of something, especially in the future, our body doesn’t know the difference between just thinking about it and actually being there so when we imagine a positive event our bodies and minds release the same feel good chemicals. He is big on healing meditation and intention meditation.

[agate]

It's all too easy to let negative thoughts take over, isn't it? There's always an option of thinking about something else, but when you're feeling overwhelmed, that's hard to do.

[flatcap]

I only eat once a day and that is dinner. 80 pounds gone.

Congratulations!

I only eat once a day myself. Have been for many, many years. I nevertheless managed to gain a lot of weight about twenty years ago, so I went on what I call "The 50% Diet." I would still eat whatever I wanted, but whatever they gave me, I would only eat half. I almost never took the other half home. Lost over 40 lbs in less than a year.

Since then, the keyword has been moderation. Never too much at once. In fact, too little sometimes. I now weigh about 140 (I am 5'10"). At my PCP's advice, I am now drinking 1-2 organic protein shakes a day. Those have helped stabilize my weight.

I hope you are able to lose the additional weight you want to. You have my permission to use my proprietary diet if you want. Just make sure you give me credit in your book. LOL

[flatcap]

It's all too easy to let negative thoughts take over, isn't it? There's always an option of thinking about something else, but when you're feeling overwhelmed, that's hard to do.

I wish that were always an option. For some of us, positivity is, at best, elusive, 24/7, 365 days a year. We might find it from time to time, but it is always fleeting.