July, 2021 Chit Chat!

[SuzE-Q]

You have a lot on your plate. I bet the shared laughter helped, laughter is a way of reminding ourselves that we're going to get through something, it is very cathartic.

The Serenity Prayer is good for the soul too.

You've handled yourself with class and grace under unimaginable circumstances. Please feel good about that.

[Virginia]

There has been no news from any family. The last thing I heard was when my Nephew posted about the arrest. I wonder how my SIL is doing. The sheriff did say that the family had asked for privacy, but at some point they will have to surface to make funeral arrangements. Suze-Q if you hear or read anything please let me know.

Rose, how did you look up Dr. Fatima Iqbal? I went on the AMA site and I came up with "no results were found". The only thing I have is what she wrote about herself. I would like more than that. As far as them being Duke Doctors, well there are quite a few Duke Primary Care offices in this area. They did not attend or train at Duke. Duke just hires them and they then have an office already set up. So, they don't have all that expense until they have made enough money to go out on their own. There have been some exceptions to this. The Doctor I have now is one. She came here with her husband from Ohio and interviewed. She was the top Doctor at this location. The one before her came with her husband from some other place. She was also good. She left because she could no longer keep up the pace. She went into research out at the "Research Triangle Park". She told me she left home early in the morning and got home late in the evening. Her husband did the cooking and her Mother had come here and did a lot to keep the kids. I felt for both of them.

The one I have now also worked many, many hours. I use to worry about her because I knew she saw so many patients in one days time. They don't have a choice if they stay there. The first Duke Primary Care Doctor I got was not a good Doctor, but I did not need her then like I do now. I had not progressed and was much younger. She always checked my heart so much that one time I told her there was more to me than that. I would have to ask to get a Thyroid check. My saving grace was that at that time I had a good Neurologist. I really don't have another place to go. Once a Doctor leaves practice, even if they stay in the area they no longer take Medicare patients because they are paid so little and the paperwork is tremendous. I figured, after looking around and being turned down a number of times, that Duke would always take Medicare patients and like you I thought they would be good Doctors because they had some connection to Duke.

Please tell me how and where you found Dr. Iqbal. Thanks.

[agate]

I hope Rose will forgive me for butting in with a reply to a question addressed to her. I have been looking up doctors online for quite a while, and Dr. Fatima Iqbal's name can be entered in a Google search window. Here is what came up for me:

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

Please check your PMs. I sent you links to all three of your PCP candidates, including the one agate posted.

Your first Duke PCP was a dud, but the two PCPs, who followed, including your current doctor, have been good. Even if doctors didn't graduate from Duke, Duke has standards for the physicians, nurses, and other medical professionals, they hire. I hope whichever of the three candidates you choose will be interested in you and your needs and work diligently to help you.

I am sure that you and your family are in shock. D.P. and Mary Lou were beloved members of the community, so the entire community is in shock too.

Yesterday morning, I watched the Sheriff's press conference. He handled it very well. A reporter asked how your family is coping with all of this. The Sheriff mentioned that the grandchildren of D.P. and Mary Lou are the contacts, with whom the Sheriff's department has been working.

The perpetrators of this horrendous crime have a criminal record with an assortment of crimes. Elder and disabled abuse, child molestation, sexual predator, robbery, assault with intent to kill. They have been imprisoned/jailed many times. And they should have remained in custody, because they are probably psychopaths, who have no conscience.

They took advantage of D.P.'s kindness and age. The Sheriff said that D.P. and Mary Lou were targeted, and I think that is correct.

None of these facts are comforting to you and your family. It is impossible for us to get into the minds of people, who would do what these men did to D.P. and Mary Lou.

The System failed here, in my opinion. These men were incorrigible and should have remained in prison for longer than they did. What about their probation officers after their release? Who kept track of these men and their activities? They are felons; how did they acquire guns? There is a chain of responsibility for this crime.

I doubt that any of us have gone through what you are going through right now. I can only suggest that when you go to bed, you visualize a beautiful light around Elaine, D.P., and Mary Lou and trust that they are resting in God's Arms at peace. Remember all of the wonderful times you shared together, laughter, joy, family. Clutch those memories close to your heart.

Try to push out the negative by bringing in the positive.

You and your family are in my prayers that you may all have the strength to endure this tragedy and find comfort and peace.

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!


THANKS!

[Virginia]

Thanks Rose and Agate for all the information. It appears that Dr. Iqbal is no longer taking new patients. The letter I received telling me that my Doctor was leaving was dated June 30. Boy that was quick if I am reading this right. I absolutely do not want a male Physician as my Primary Care. I have things wrong with me that I am not comfortable talking to a very young male Doctor. Are you both reading this the same way I am as far as Dr. Iqbal is concerned?

[Virginia]

Had a call from my brother who was mad with me and I still say that he not only was but still is. Then my younger brother called and said he was not, but that my Niece who came over on Saturday had irritated him. I think she had, but he was also mad with me.

Mary Lou and D.P. will probably have funerals late next week. Their bodies have not been released to the family as yet. The sheriff is asking for the death penalty for both of them, but doesn't know if the prosecutor will go for it or not. Eric, who is the one married to my SIL said he would be satisfied if they just put them in prison for the rest of their lives. I don't know if he is against the death penalty in general or not. However, it takes an awful lot to prove a death sentence no matter how bad the people who committed the crime are. I don't know if that is playing into his thinking. He and my SIL plan to be there every day, if possible, for the trial. I am not sure but I kind of think the death penalty also carries an automatic appeal. So, it could go on and on while the family is suffering, mainly their two grandchildren and my SIL. My brother said he wanted to know exactly what happened and every detail no matter how bad it hurt. I know he was thinking of all the times he stayed at their house when he would be at Pinehurst, and how often his kids were there and how kind these two people were. But first they have to get through the funerals.

He says my SIL is doing alright. She is staying so busy. She goes over to her Dad's every day and they have already been going through some of her Mother's things and then every night she goes to my Niece, her daughter's house to see their new Grandson. Tuesday at the funeral she asked her daughter if it would be alright if she came to her house that night and spent the night and gave him his 3AM feeding. She had promised them before all this happened that she would do baby sitting duty for a year for them. She told them she wanted to do her part, but I expect she just wanted to hold that baby. They told her sure she could do that. That baby was only a week old this past Monday and already he has brought so much joy where there was nothing but pain. My brother says both he and my SIL plan to spoil him. Every time I see a picture on his album on my phone he is being held by someone else. I may get to meet him over the week-end.

This afternoon I set down in a chair and almost nodded off. First time I had been that relaxed in a week and a half. Now, if only I could do it in the bed.

[agate]

I'm glad that there is the new baby to brighten up your family's lives just now, Virginia--for it's been a grim time otherwise. There are some very twisted, vicious people out there, and it's tragic that they can destroy lives so easily.

About Dr. Iqbal--I noticed that it says she's not accepting new patients. But would you really be a "new patient"? Aren't you being left in the lurch by a doctor who is leaving the same practice? Couldn't you be "handed over" to Dr. Iqbal if you wanted to be? I'd certainly ask.

A while back my doctor left, and I was told that I could choose from several other doctors in the same clinic. If I recall right, one of them that I was interested in wasn't accepting new patients but I was told that that didn't apply to me.

[SuzE-Q]

"Almost" nodding off is a step in the right direction.

Glad you spoke to your brothers.

I think Merrick Garland placed a moratorium on all death penalty sentences. I personally think it's a greater penalty to live out their lives in a prison setting.

Happy Birthday!

ANN forgot to mention it, but I think chocolate is definitely warranted!

[stillstANNding]

Hi SuzE!

ANN

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

I agree with agate about your doctor situation. You could call Dr. Iqbal's office and ask if she will accept you as a patient, after you explain that your doctor is leaving the practice.

When you see your doctor on the 29th, you could ask her to refer you to Dr. Iqbal. You could even ask your current doctor to confer with Dr. Iqbal, or whomever you choose to have as your next provider, to bring her up to speed on your medical issues. Be straight-forward with your current doctor and tell her your worries, fears, concerns about having to start over with a new doctor. I'm sure she will understand and help you.

When your brother called, did you ask him directly why he is angry? That's what I would do. It would annoy me to be in the dark about it for so long. I'd also tell him that with his medical issues, he needs to calm down and not let minor things upset him so much.

The death penalty is not a deterrent to crime. A person, who commits a crime for which the death penalty is possible, doesn't hesitate and think, "oh, I might get the death penalty" and then stop the crime.

Laws may vary by state, but typically a prisoner on death row sits there for many years after repeated appeals are presented to the court. The loved ones of the victim endure tremendous stress. It is also more expensive to taxpayers than life in prison without the possibility of parole.

The previous convictions of these two career criminals should be made available to the jury. Their history of heinous crimes led up to the murder of D.P. and Mary Lou. They are and have been a menace to society, and they should have served longer sentences for each of their crimes. As long as the evidence is compelling against them, the prosecutor should be able to get a conviction. Also, unless the trial moves to another jurisdiction, the jury will be residents of the county. I doubt that any of these people would find these men not guilty.

I understand the desire of Eric and your SIL to attend the trial. It is important for family to be present. The jury sees their suffering and that helps to sway their decision. From watching televised trials, I know this is wrenching for family members and friends.

How wonderful to have a sweet baby to bring joy and comfort to all of you now. Your SIL needs to hold her grandson right now. He is helping her manage the stress, pain, and agony of losing her mom and aunt and uncle. Is there still a possibility for you to meet your new nephew this weekend?

Happy Birthday To You, Virginia ~

You and your family remain in my prayers ~

Love & Light,

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

THANKS!

[Virginia]

Many thanks to Suze-Q, Agate and Rose. I have had a rather busy day, but mostly busy on the phone. I went to the grocery store this afternoon and I forgot to check to see how hot it was. It was really bad at the time I went out. When I came out of the store it was like the heat just blasted at me. I plan to stay in this week-end.

I will not be meeting the new baby. If you all recall we have usually always gotten together for birthdays, but we put mine off this year due to circumstances. They think the bodies will be released and the funerals can be held, possibly by the end of next week. So, sometime after that, when things have calmed down a bit we will get together. Of course this is fine with me. I told one of my Nieces that I had already had too many birthdays. She said they just come too quickly - imagine that, she is all of 32.

Thanks Rose and Suze-Q for the Happy Birthday wishes. Given the circumstances, it has been fine.

I will do as you both suggest and call Monday to see if I can get in to see Dr. Iqbal. Thanks for the suggestion.

By the way, in addition to the walking in the grocery store I made 3 trips in when I got home. Boy, was I beat but I got something to make a sandwich so I didn't have to cook. Also, I bought myself some gelato for my birthday. I am sure that doesn't surprise anyone on here.

[agate]

Good for you, Virginia--getting that gelato!

It's really funny to hear one of those 30-somethings complain about getting old. It's even funny to hear one of those 50-somethings complain about getting old.

[Howie]

One thing about death, you stop getting older. I'm shooting for 100+.

[agate]

Me too, Howie. More and more people are reaching 100 these days.

[Virginia]

I am so glad Howie is shooting for 100 and then some. Agate, will still be around to keep him company on this very forum. And why not, it's been going for at least more than 20 years already. Many of us have been on here for 20 to 21 years. So, I think Agate and Howie should carry on. Some of the rest of us might decide to join them.

My SIL on my deceased husband's side called me today. She called about 1:15P.M. and we didn't hang up until 3:00P.M. It was good to talk to her and hear about the family on that side. Thankfully, they are all doing well. She usually wishes me a Happy Birthday on FB but she has about stopped going on there and decided she would just call me. I told her I had to remind myself last night to go on and see if I had any good wishes on there. There were a few, but I am seldom on there unless something is going on in the family and I want to see what they are doing.