OT August Chit Chat

[jendie]

My goodness, Virginia, it don't rain, it pours with your family right now. Positive thoughts going out to all involved. s*

[SuzE-Q]

I'm so sorry, Virginia!

Sometimes, siblings are in the best position to gently but firmly press the case for being allowed to visit. They have a special bond - you and your siblings certainly seem to!

You might want to remind him of just what you wrote here, about how caring he was towards you, and insistent that you get in touch. That families stick together, through thick and thin.

I've found in these situations, often a person really doesn't want to be alone, but doesn't know how to express that they'd like support, or someone to just "be there with them". A not too intrusive reaching out might help.

He's probably worried about his wife too, and might really appreciate the support in that regard alone, even if he doesn't want to talk about his own circumstances.

He's just had a lot of medical intervention take place, so, I don't think he's given up quite yet!

So sorry that there might be another issue going on too, but so glad it was discovered on an xray about the tooth!

You and your family are in my thoughts, Virginia!

[Howie]

It's FRIDAY!! But it's next Friday I'm looking forward to....payday!

I just went to the store, and probably won't leave the house until next Friday. I have plenty of food, and plenty of beer, so I need nothing. My needs are simple.

My brother has been pretty dependable about calling on Fridays lately. If he can't, he emails to let me know.

Everyone have a great weekend.

[Sunshine]

Virginia, this is like something out of the book of Job. It sounds devastating.

If you want advice, insist your brothers go to the hospital, and if nothing else, sit vigil in the hallway, and periodically ask to come in. They will kick themselves if they abide by stated wishes and he passes away without seeing him. The worse that can happen is they sit vigil in the hallway. Sending a nurse to say “your brothers are here, and come all the way from such and such place to see you. At least let them see you.”



Sometimes people feel guilty asking for help, so they say they don’t want to see anyone...

Edit to add: in older people anesthesia messes with the appetite and swallowing and mental status up to a few weeks, .....also wonder if he could’ve had a mini stroke making it hard to eat?

This is a psychiatric emergency, there should be social workers attending to him when Famity is unable to. And an anti depresssnt.

My MIL lost all appetite post hip replacement. They put her on Megace and appetite returned. .

[agate]

I've been busy lately but hope to be less busy now that most of the routine appointments are over and the recertification details are wrapped up except for one list I still need to submit--the list of medical trips during the last year. That list is all ready to go except for one more trip.

It cooled off here yesterday and is still cool today--and the smoky haze is finally clearing away.

[Jeanie Z]

:) Virginia I am praying for your family. I agree a visit might really help.

I slept until 12:30 got up when Andy came. He brought me coffee and a donut. He also brought one of his electric pianos for me to use. I discovered I have forgotten almost everything I knew.

I went back to bed at 2 and slept until 5:30. I am still tired. I really like Stauffer's vegetable lasagnas. I have one in the toaster oven for dinner with a salad. Hi everyone. Jeanie :)

[Virginia]

Thank you to all for the thoughts and suggestions. I disagree that a visit from us would help. I would agree, but with his children down there I don't think it would do a thing. They are doing all they can. I cannot drive that far and my middle brother is having the movers come Monday. Since he just will not talk, even before his wife got sick she said he wanted the lights out and the TV off, which is far from his normal self. He has four children and I think at least two of them are doing all they can and the others will step up to the plate as needed. My brothers will go if they think it will do any good at all as soon as middle brother gets moved.

It is a real downer for all of us here.

[stillstANNding]

How’s your sister in law, Virginia?

ANN

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

I'm so very sorry that your family is going through this crisis. Your brother must be so frustrated, exhausted, and probably overwhelmed about the recovery ahead of him. And that is very understandable given his multiple medical issues and his age, and it isn't uncommon among Seniors, who've been through the mill. Maybe he's thinking about all that he went through after his transplant, and he just doesn't feel up to the demands of rehab.

In my limited experience with family/friends with heart conditions, depression is also common. This needs to be addressed by his medical team.

Perhaps he feels like he doesn't want his loved ones to talk him out of giving up. There may be guilt feelings within him that he can't confront. Maybe he's afraid that he will be a burden. Could he feel that way, with his children flocking around him, changing their schedules so that they can be there for him? Of course, this is the natural thing to do, but when you're the reason for the disruption, it can sometimes be difficult to not feel like a burden.

His medical team should include social workers, counselors, pastoral care. Attention to his emotional, psychological, and spiritual needs are just as important to his healing as the physical care.

If possible, perhaps you could suggest that his daughters speak to your brother's attending physician and discuss his depression and bring professionals in this area onto his team.

With your sister-in-law's crisis, the family must be so stressed. What is her progress report? Septic infections are so scary, but today's antibiotics are fairly effective, with all of the ancillary care needed for side effects.

Your brother, sister-in-law, their children, your other brothers and family and YOU are in my prayers continuously, Virginia.

Please take care of yourself. That's so important.

Sending healing, positive energy ~

Love & Light,



Rose

[Cherie]

Virginia,
I also have a thyroid nodule that was picked up on my last MRI. The tech who did the untrasound said that 80% of the population has nodules there and fewer than 1% are malignant.

[Virginia]

Cherie, we have now found out that sister-in-law was told she has a benign cyst. She is going to talk to her PCP as soon as she can, since he says he wants to see her.

A little more news from older brother's situation. His wife was released from the hospital today. She was told to walk with a walker, but refuses to do so. She is doing well and went to rehab to see my brother. They set him up in a wheelchair and my Niece took a picture of him. It did not come through on my phone, but did on both brother's here. They said he doesn't look as bad as they expected. Both daughters are there right now and one is returning to N.C. tomorrow, but other one is staying on. I don't know why they wanted my sister-in-law to use a walker, unless it is because the place that became septic was on her leg.

Middle brother and his wife are having a lot of problems with their move. It has been nothing but problems from day one. Now his wife is sick. She got a cold and he said she is now in bed in the old house, but she will have to get up by Monday for movers. They are both hurting in their back and he is almost depressed as the brother in S.C. You know he has bad heart problems also. But, personally I think things sound a little better in S.C. because that sister-in-law is out of hospital and if she takes care of herself she should be fine. I will be so glad when my bother here gets moved and settled. Everything has gone wrong.

[SuzE-Q]

I'm so sorry you're in such distress, Virginia, I can "sense" it through your words.

Such a lot going on. Glad brother's wife is out of the hospital herself, that's a small piece of good news. Hoping she'll have a positive effect on your brother's wellbeing.

Hopefully your other brother's family can rally together and get this move done as easily as possible. No fun moving when you're sick.

You take care of yourself, too, Virginia!

[nuthatch]

Oh Virginia, have faith, things are gonna get better . . . we're all routing for you and your family!
Everyone has to just face one day at a time, that's all we can do. We're here for you when you need some support, just as you are for your brothers.

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[Virginia]

Nuthatch, that brought a few tears. I have leaned on all of you and I hope it hasn't been a burden. I have not been able to concentrate to read and I have mostly just set today and tried to be as calm as I could. But there is too much going on.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Virginia)))))) ~

That's what we're all here for ~ to lean on each other. I know that I've leaned on you and everyone here many times. Now, it's your turn. Lean on me.

The news of your sister-in-law being up and about, and I hope she uses that walker for awhile to be safe, and your brother sitting up and having a photo taken are very promising.

I will pray for things to smooth out with your other brother's move. Too much happening at one time.

And of course, my prayers continue for healing and strength for your brother, sister-in-law, You and your entire family.

Try to rest as much as possible and remember to breathe. We're here for you. Lean on us.

Love & Light,



Rose