News of Jeanie

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Thank you, Virginia, for updating us about Jeanie's situation. As with all of you, I am very saddened by this news, but I am not surprised.

It is obvious that the word, "rehab," in the name of the facility is grossly inaccurate. As we have followed Jeanie's experiences there, it is clear that she has not received proper care in rehabilitation of her initial injury. As I recall, surgery was repeatedly delayed. Following her surgery, I feel/felt that her therapy and care were inadequate.

Call me cynical, but I have witnessed this in many different "rehab" facilities or "nursing homes." It makes me wonder whether this isn't a corporate-wide approach by owners of these facilities to allow patients to wither, so they end up unable to leave. Lots of $$$ to be made from feeble elderly folks.

Virginia, this sentence in your post really grabbed at my heart:

Her sons told her they felt this was best for her because she had someone to take care of her and she is being fed 3 meals a day.

Quality of Life. Prison inmates get 3 meals a day and have "someone to take care" of them.

Did they discuss this with Jeanie, before they made the decision to leave her there? Did they ask her what she wanted? Did they explore other options for her care outside of this facility? Did they consider Jeanie's quality of life over their own convenience of having her stashed in this facility?

If Jeanie had received appropriate care and rehabilitation, she might not be able to return to her home independently, but she wouldn't have to remain in this facility. As ANN said, there are options.

Now that Jeanie's PT has ended, she will only decline, which is a tragedy.

Jon and Michael were Medicaid patients, and they received in home health care, supplies, including O2, Physical Therapy, new wheelchairs, hospital beds and mattresses (never up to par, so we bought those for them), GI doctor visits at home, ambulance transportation to medical appointments, suctioning and enteral feeding equipment, etc. It seems every state manages Medicaid differently, but an advocate would certainly explore all of the options for home care FIRST. Unfortunately, Florida has a very poor history of providing Medicaid support to those, who need it.

If Jeanie were able to relocate to a group home, with others, who have similar needs, she would be in a home, with a family environment. One way to pay for her care would be to sell her home, if she is never going to be able to return to it. Has that been considered by her sons and discussed with her?

This is a reminder to all of us to make clear to our loved ones, and whoever may be in charge of our affairs, if we are rendered unable to do so, what we want. Specify to them that you do not want to be placed in a long term care facility, even if it is called a "rehab center." Create a plan for your waning years, and be certain that everyone is on board with your plan.

My prayers are never ending for Jeanie. I just wish that there was something I could do to help her.

And about the iPad or laptop ~ at this point, Jeanie has been removed from the internet and managing with her own computer for so long that she may just feel confused and baffled by an iPad or laptop. She may not be getting the proper nutrition (3 meals a day ...) or mental stimulation every day to be able to comprehend how to use them. What would be nice is a staff tech, who would bring in the device to Jeanie, and communicate on her behalf. Jeanie could dictate, tech could type. Good luck finding that kind of support there.

I apologize. I have droned on.

We Love You Jeanie!

Love & Light,



Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[Virginia]

Rose, there is only so much I can say or ask. Jeanie would probably tell me most anything I asked, but I am uncomfortable asking things that are out of the range of what I feel I should. I wanted to ask about her house also, but I just couldn't do that. No matter what these are her sons and all she has and she is going to do as they say. They were very good to Jeanie when she was at home and I mentioned that. When I did she brought up that they were and that she was blessed to have them. I know how much she loves them.

You said it tore at your heart to read my words, well when she said them to me it was all I could do to bite my tongue and ask if she had any say so in it at all. But of course I couldn't. I expect it will all come out over a period of time. I am not sure if her house would bring very much. I am not saying this to in anyway put it down because I don't know. However, I believe one time she told me it was a cinder block house, and not in a too good neighborhood. She loves it because she has been there many, many years. I did say something like "Jeanie, the house is just sitting there?" She said yes but that her sons went over every week and checked on things. She thought that was great.

One thing I forgot that pleased me was again her daughter-in-law seems to have stepped up to help out some. When something goes wrong at the rehab facility her daughter-in-law takes care of it by e-mailing them. Jeanie says they don't answer their phone, but that they do read their e-mails. She takes care of little things Jeanie needs and leaves them at the desk.

I am sure more will come out as we talk more. Right now she has a new roommate and was trying not to talk too loud. I think she was not real comfortable letting this lady know everything about her.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

I understand how uncomfortable it might be to ask Jeanie these questions and for her to answer them. I didn't mean to imply that you should have asked them.

Of course, she loves her sons, and they have been good to her. It's good to hear that her daughter-in-law is intervening on Jeanie's behalf and providing her with things she needs. I just wonder whether they explored other options for Jeanie in lieu of the rehab.

Regardless of how much her home might be worth, it is sitting there empty. Instead, it could be rented or sold, if she is never going to return to it, and that income could be used to improve her living conditions. At the very least, it could pay for her continuing PT visits. At the most, it could pay for her care in a residential setting (group home). She could sign the deed over to her sons, and they could manage the money, so that she wouldn't lose Medicaid.

Her van is also sitting there unused, I imagine. It may not garner much, but it could be another source of income to pay for her PT visits.

I just wish that she could have better care in a more home-like environment.

When is Jeanie's birthday? I recall it being mentioned, but I'm not sure what the date is. I hope I haven't missed it.

Thank you again, Virginia, for reaching out to Jeanie and sharing your conversations with us.

Love & Light,



Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[stillstANNding]

It’s a sad state: we must sell our home to pay for rehab to get strong enough to go home to the house we just sold. A twisted O’Henry story.

I remember a true story in Momentum about two disabled adults in a nursing home who put their resources together to buy and modify a home and share care services. It was near Pittsburgh, I believe. I never forgot that story. I don’t remember if there were grants involved but it seems likely. They gravitated to each other because they were the only young people in the nursing home. Very creative solution. Not a common or likely one.

ANN

[agate]

Rose, according to her Facebook page, Jeanie's birthday is coming up soon: March 22.

She could sign the deed over to her sons, and they could manage the money, so that she wouldn't lose Medicaid.

I'm not so sure that would work. It depends on the state but many states now have provisions where the application asks: "Have
you given away or sold any asset in the past 2 years?" and if you have parted with a significant asset, you wait 2 years before you're eligible to reapply.

There were too many people putting their property into other people's hands (usually their adult children's) so as to qualify for Medicaid.

Unfortunately that maneuver was often the only way a person could get the senior care that many require. Long-term care insurance is pricey to put it mildly.

[agate]

It's Jeanie's birthday. I don't know if she will be able to get in here to see this, but

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEANIE!

[Virginia]

Jeanie called this evening to thank me for a book I sent her for her Birthday. She said she heard from so many people who sent notes and letters. Jim and Andy came to the patio and they took her there. They were all in PPE and socially distanced. Her daughter-in-law came to the screen around the patio with her dog. The dog did not recognize her, but she said she looked good and well cared for so I think that is enough for Jeanie.

She stays in bed 23 hours a day and some days all day. She has a rash on her backside. She is going to speak to the aid tomorrow.

She seemed frustrated and "out of sorts" this evening. I am sure none of us can understand how she could not be. I feel so bad for her.

She reads almost all day, sometimes a book a day. I am glad she can get wrapped up in books, but I am concerned that she will just finally tire of that. Her roommate watches TV from 8 in the morning until 11 at night. I could hear it on. I don't think I could possibly stand it. I have to have some peace and quiet.

[agate]

Thank you for staying in touch with Jeanie! I hope you told her about the new board--maybe she'll want to see what it's like and will find a way back here.

What a shame that she has a roommate with a TV constantly on. That's all too common with roommates, I'm afraid. Can she use earplugs to listen to audiobooks and drown out the TV?

I would absolutely hate having a roommate like that. I don't suppose the roommate even asked Jeanie if it was OK if she turned on the TV. No, that would be considerate. People just aren't considerate, all too often.

She may not get tired of the books. I don't get tired of books. There's a T-shirt or a mug that has the saying "So many books, so little time."

[stillstANNding]

Thank you, Virginia. This continues to be so sad. No rehab is happening.

ANN

[Virginia]

Absolutely nothing is happening that I can see to help her out other than I think they are going to take her every two weeks to the patio to see her sons.

She called and left a message yesterday evening while I was eating and asked me to call her. I figured she just wanted to talk, but honestly I think she is already deteriorating mentally. I called her shortly after that and when she didn't mention the books I had sent I asked if she got all 3 of them. She said she got one. I had sent 3, but then when she was telling me some of what she had read she mentioned two others that I had sent, but said her daughter-in-law got those for her. Obviously, I did not tell her different. I just said that is great that she is trying to help out.

She said she was in there forever and she was going to have DNR put on all her records.

I have been somewhat depressed since that conversation, although in all honesty I don't know how she could feel much different.

She asked if I could hear the TV and I told her I could. She said it is like this from 8 in the morning until 11 at night.

I told her about the new board. She thanks everyone for all the notes and cards and letters on her Birthday and asked about the people, but she had no interest in hearing that we had a new board to play with.

One thing I will tell y'all about someday, but right now I think it might be best not to. I am hoping it will be straightened out and besides Rose would come through my computer.

[agate]

One thing I will tell y'all about someday, but right now I think it might be best not to. I am hoping it will be straightened out and besides Rose would come through my computer.

Oh golly gee! Do you have any idea just when you might get around to revealing this? I'd like to mark it on my calendar because I don't want to miss it, after this buildup. It sounds very dramatic.

It's hard to know what's really going on with Jeanie but I would think she could mention to a staff member that the TV is on so much that it's disturbing--maybe she could request a change of roommate? They must get this kind of request and even be able to deal with it.

[Virginia]

Not dramatic Agate, just sad that it is allowed to go on. One of those things that Rose would absolutely never get over. I think this should tell you something.

Jeanie, has had a change of roommates once. The other one they came in all during the night to change her and work on her and the woman didn't know what was going on and would yell out during the night. I think she is afraid she will get back in a similar situation. Sometimes it is the devil you know verses the one you don't, sort of thing.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

What is it that you need to tell us about Jeanie pertaining to me? Please send me a PM to let me know, if you don't feel comfortable revealing it here.

Of course, I am very concerned about Jeanie's skin breakdown, and she shouldn't have to tell her aide about it. She's in bed 23-24 hr/day, so they should be turning her and checking her regularly to be on top of skin breakdown. This is what happens in a "rehab facility." It's a pseudonym for "deterioration facility."

Trying to read, rest, sleep, relax, while your roommate has the TV blaring all day and night. Stress. Not being able to get up, move around, be with your loved ones, other than on a patio. Of course, all of this will contribute to cognitive and physical decline.

Dogs don't forget their owners. Dogs are extremely intelligent. Lacy knows Jeanie by smell, by sound, by love. Lacy is probably confused by her new home and the environment where she sees Jeanie. Like, "Who is my master now?"

This is all so heartbreaking.

Please, everyone, prepare a plan should you need intense care to ensure that you are not placed in a "rehab facility." Begin by exploring all of the available options, funding for those options, and any resources available in your area to assist you in avoiding a "rehab facility."

Holding Jeanie close to my heart and continuing prayers for her strength and stamina.

Love & Light,



Rose

*Virtual Hugs Are Germ-Free!

[Virginia]

Rose, I typed and typed and then tried to send it in a message to you. I got a response that you had chosen not get private messages, so I deleted it and will try you after this is all fixed.

Mine is probably like that too.

[agate]

The trouble is that sometimes you have no choice. You get "put" in a rehab facility.

Consider a neighbor of mine years ago who had a stroke and was in the hospital. Since the hospital wasn't far away, I went over to visit her. I hadn't been with her in her room for more than a minute or two when in came several medical staff members of some kind (EMTs?) with a gurney, whisked her onto it while telling her, "You're being moved to ____ nursing home. There's a place for you there."

This lady was still a bit disoriented what with recovering from a stroke but she started to cry. I kept asking them who authorized this move and how could they just do this but I got no adequate answer--that's how much of a hurry they were in. I was on my way down to the nurses' station to raise a ruckus but at that point they were actually whisking my neighbor out the door. From then on until she died she was in that nursing home.

I don't see how anyone could have stopped the people who shipped her out. It was all much too fast--accomplished in seconds.