!!Rant/fessin' up!!

[Buttons2]

Chris, please do keep coming here,we can't take away the pain but we can give support. as for the Occupy movement? if it's causing you stress perhaps you should focus on something else? your body just cannot keep up with your mind ya know! or volunteer to make posters maybe?

as for the class-well I think you should make every effort to keep at it. you need something to get you out of the house & away from that laundry basket. maybe make some new friends. get out your camera? share about your ferret & dog. you have SO much to offer Chris! and you're so smart,you will find it gradifying to help someone else I just know it.

hope it's a much better week ahead for you (((hugs))) Pati

[Jo6]

Christina dear, I was just teasing you about the basket of shirts!! Please take it that way. It hurts me to know you are stressing over some silly thing I said. I doubt Pati is stressing over getting her Christmas decor up from the basement! Another joke. I'm no good at joking around so I better stop trying to.

I worry about you. I am so steamed about insurance company's in general. If something worked for you they SHOULD pay for it. As long as you've been sick it's a shame how they did you!

I have a hard time keeping my Hypertension leveled out. I was taking name brand on a med. it was working great. The insurance co. made me change to generic or I would have to pay nearly 200 $$ for 1 month. My blood pressure went sky high and it took quiet awhile for the Dr. and Insurance co. come to an agreement. That's when the Druggest told me that generic drugs only had to have about 75% of the same med. I have often wondered why differant meds. didn't help and I would end up having to try another. If Nexium worked for you maybe your Dr. could go to bat for you. They have to have something to help your tummy problems.

Sweetie, I agree with Pati about the Ocuppy Movement. I think it started out a good thing and was hoping it would help. Last night I heard that many that had come to get the movement started had gone home and the ones that were there now had nothing to do with the movement. Many crimes were being commited within the camps itself.

I don't know the answer to all the problems they were putting out at first, but each one of us can make a stand and try that way to get things back on the right road. We are all concerned about the sorry state of our nation. I won't say anymore. This is not a political thread and I don't want to make it into one.

I'm concerned about Christina. I do understand the thing about your phone calls. You can wait all day and they may answer your call the next day. I've had to deal with that and you are hog tied all day!!

Do try to get back to Group. Even if you can't go everyday. Just go when you can, but please don't stop. It was sounding very helpful.

I love you dear one and I want you to feel like enjoying life!!

Take care, Julia

[Jo6]

Christina, I haven't seen you post in a few days, but thats ok. I'm just hoping you are feeling better and getting some relief for your pain.

I know that you do not take your health and your meds. lightly. I wish I could wave my magic wand and make every thing better. Hang in there, we are here to hold you up. When you are well you may have to hold one of us up.

Take care sweetie, Julia ((((((Christina))))))

[houghchrst]

I am still around. I owe a couple a PM I know. Just trying to relax. I think I finally got SSI taken care of I hope. Have to call in the morning. My caseworker still hasn't taken care of our medical so no one has any insurance. The classes are done. They released me on Monday. It was only a crisis management group. They make sure you are stable and release you. They don't have room for long term. People always coming and going. Some many times. They make sure you have follow up care 'on the outside' lol.

No new meds but I am considering asking about Zyprexa Zydis for when my mind just overwhelms me. Learning to say that I can't save everything. So just laying off the internet except for the occasional FB post but have even lightened up that. Some working on the house, cleaning here and there, trying to keep my brain light. Pain is weird. Been bad lately. Not feet but back.

[Jo6]

Well gosh girl, if it isn't one thing its 2 more!! Your back pain can be a killer. I've been sitting here too long and mine is screaming for me to lay down or at least walk around and lay down in my lounge chair.

Don't forget we are all here, ready and willing to help any way we can. It sounds like you are doing everything you know to do to help yourself. I admire you for that. things have just piled in on you and it is hard to get over some of these things.

Please take care of yourself and the house will still be there when you are up to fretting over it. I tell you, most of my kids and probably grands will be comming here Thanksgiving. You should see my house. It is turned upside down. I'm beginning to fret. I'm just counting down the days and worrying more every day. I guess it will be what it will be. Who knows, maybe the kids will take pity and help me out. I won't hold my breath though.

Keep getting the rest you need and let your mind rest. I'm here if you need to fall. I'll just fall first and let you fall on top so it won't hurt you so bad. lol

I love you Christina and I want to help you. you take care((((((Christina)))))) rest well tonight

[houghchrst]

Oh yeah lol, the BF is at the hospital right now cause he turned his ankle something terrible while working on the vehicles last Monday night and had to call in to work but wound up messing with them dang vehicles again all day Tuesday. Went to work on Wednesday but went to the hospital cause it was hurting so bad. Said it was the worst sprain they ever saw. Then Thursday late afternoon the hospital calls and says that he needs to get in to see his doc cause they see what may be a fracture. So the next morning, yesterday, Friday, he goes to work and calls his doc who says sorry pay up cause we don't got no stinkin' insurance. So he, not the clever thinker that I am, calls a couple of places to check his options while I say just go back to the same hospital that took the xrays and say he needs to get something done. Stop all the messing around. So that is where he is right now. Been there a long time and I am starting to get worried. Figures lol.

Jo you could never say anything to offend me. I tell ya over and over, loves you too much and I know ya loves me too. so you would only have my best at heart. ((((((((HUGS))))))))

[Buttons2]

hope the BF's foot is OK! have to admit I now wonder "what's next?".........well hopefully some peace of mind! you deserve it for sure.

OK,now I understand about the class. patch you up & send you home. well at least you still have a place to go when you need it I hope! in my state they are dropping all mental health services cause we'd rather spend money on roundabouts I suppose. I'm so sick of politian's I could scream. how about we cut their saleries & drop their excellent health ins? better yet get rid of about half of them altogether?

keep checking in Chris,we care ((((hugs)))) Pati

[joy]

christina i must have missed this. i feel bad for BF foot. i turned mine once trying to catch a fire plug, well hook up a hose. It got so swollen and purple and hubby went off to work school in Dallas leaving me with the kids when they were little. Good thing mother came down some. I hope his ankle heals fast and leaves no damage. I believe a broken bone would not have hurt as bad, truthfully.

I hope you are doing okay and it is always good to hear from you. so don't be a stranger (HUGS)

[houghchrst]

Well looks like the bf has fractured a load bearing bone in his ankle. Not sure which one, wish I was there to see it cause I gotta be a nosy know-it-all lol.

He has a half cast that he is to wear for two weeks. He had to cut the ankle bone out of one side because once the swelling went down and his foot slid down in it the cast pressed on the ankle bone. Guess they made him ride around in a wheel chair at work today LOL. All those older women in there wanna baby him. He's right in his element. Doesn't know how to behave working with decent folk compared to working in an car shop with all those butt grabbin', cursing like a sailor, grease monkeys lolol. He loves it and is getting more responsibility.

It is really weird because I am so used to him taking care of me that I forget that he might need something so I have to remind myself to go check on him lol. I would make a lousy nurse cause I can barely take care of myself.

Ya know they use to call me Nurse Chris before they called me Corunna Rd. Chris. That's how people remember me when talking to other friends so they know which Chris they were talking about. My Princess refers to me and introduces me as Queen Chris all the time which makes me seriously embarrassed. Everyone gets to finally put a name to the face since we get out more. I have been to all of her parties so far for a year now. I don't drink or anything but get to laugh my butt off while others do. Friends I have known for years. Friends that I lost during the crack years. Guess they really never left, I did. My Princess has held the group of us together for all these years. She is our hub lol.

I think we can end this thread cause I am moving ahead and going back to the usual whats happenin' right after this lol


UPDATE: Chris for the time being is no longer suicidal. I wish I could sue the government for stress, causing mental breakdown LOLOL. No new meds because that last med was setting off my IBS terribly. I have become a bit detached because the second I start thinking about bills, DHS, Social Security, dirty dishes. Pick one and like a row of dominoes they come tumbling in. I have so many phone calls and Dr. Appts that need to be taken care of that I feel overwhelmed and am getting only a thing or two done a day because I have shut down a bit.

I wrote my Congressman today complaining about my caseworker and the Department of Human Services. I had to have called her at least a hundred times since Sept. 24th. Only 1/4 of those did I leave a message because her box was always full or I was hoping she would answer the phone. I also think that they are disconnecting the phone up there when they get busy. A few times I have called and it would just hang up on me so I called one of the other offices and when I told her what was going on she laughed and called another number and comes back on and says 'well I didnt have any problem try again'. Whatever, Jared has missed 8 appts already, the bf has his ankle and my group therapy still hasn't been paid for. I have had to cancel three of my own appts. All she had to do was mail me a copy of the missing page and I could have faxed it back to her at the end of September and all would have been fine. But no. I have heard that my particular office is known for it's screw ups.

Anyway my SSI is finished I hope. I forgot to call him today because I slept all day, I think I may have double dosed myself with my Effexor this morning. 150 mg, supposed to be half that in the morning. Never done that before. Not that I recall anyway. Oh yeah, I don't know how many of you remember the state finding me guilty of an 'intentional welfare violation' from a form I was late in filing back in May of 2006. Yes 2006. So I had all of my evidence ready almost all gleaned from here, my own posts and I plead insanity. I don't care about having to pay them back in foodstamps but they were only supposed to take out $50 a month instead they have taken all of my portion out which they will do for a year. I just want the intentional violation charge removed. It was a damn accident, I had so much going on that I was late turning it in and they gave me too many foodstamps for a MONTH. Wooo! They sent my court date to the wrong address so I missed my hearing but they sent my letter saying I was guilty to the right address. I requested a rehearing and got denied cause they didn't find any new evidence. Well I got all kinds of evidence, page after page including the letter that went to the wrong address because they gave me a copy at the main office at the beginning of the year.

so I called the court and explained what was going on and was told to write a letter to present to the judge to ask directly. I have the letter typed up but no ink in my printer which requires me to go to the library to print it out and their puters are always packed with people who don't have internet at home.

It is terrible but I realized that the government spends more time and money trying not to help you than it does helping. It is a shame.

Joy I have turned my foot quite a few times, some pretty serious so I know too well how those go and I am sure I am still paying the price for it. And yes they told him that a broken bone would have been better because he has seriously torn and stretched his tendons and ligaments. Those don't unstretch and while most tears will heal to a point some stay torn. Yes I know. Between my feet, knee, shoulder I know all about stretched and torn ligaments.

back to me not him lol so that is most of it. Just seems everyday brings something new and if I think too long I am overwhelmed but I must be careful because for me there is a fine line between slowing down and shutting down. I am hoping that I can stay busy this winter maybe starting to go through closets and refine all of our unpacking from last year. Make some more room, consolidate and label some boxes in the basement storage. I still have a quilt to finish lol. So I am going to make BT my home page instead of the FB that my brother had on here. He didn't ask me about the laptop though he was here today. He grabbed a bunch of winter clothing to take with him, also a back pack and his Carharts. He wanted to be all huggy kissy but I don't think so.


blah blah blah, blather blather blather lolol. Okay I am done I guess. Onto another thread lol.


Thank you everyone, yous are the bestest.

[alex44]

buttons2 I have Never heard of MJ causing the symtoms that Houghchrist is describing. You have probobly seen all the BS propaganda that the government puts out. Houghchrist - How very brave of you and honest to admit that MJ is helping you. I know this may not be exactly the right forum but since it was brought up - the gov't won't allow testing on the federal level whereas independent studies have shown it DOES help people - and I don't mean the druggies who, where it's legal get it just to get stoned. Properly studied, and get rid of the "Reefer Madnwess" Crap, we have another tool in the arsdenal to help people. Unfortunately, people like that give it a bad name. Heroin is just a few steps away from Morphine so - what's the Diff. Anyway, sorry to get carried away, It will be legal all over the US in time,Arizona where I live is TRYING to fight it but with the amount of money invested, I believe they will lose. Houghchrist, definately talk to your psyc. about the skin issue, my therapist has worked wonders for meso I am glad you see one. Be well and keep posting.
Blessings
Alex44
Skypilot

[houghchrst]

Thank you Alex. Wow two years since I wrote this and it sounds so long ago and I realize that I am not far from that crazy person still. Even though things are ten times better than they were then. I am due to see my doc next week I am going to have him do some blood work and check my vitamin levels.

Also I did find out that if I smoke too much sativa as opposed to a hybrid or indica then yes it does contribute to mania. I try to be careful and have cut back.

Also seeing my therapist more often at her request. and see a new psych next week, at her request lol.

I have to remind myself regularly that I am happy, I have nothing....well almost nothing, to be so stressed out about.

I just feel like there is all this stuff that needs doing and that I want to do and I feel like I am running out of time, that it will never get done. Yep got fixin to do.

[Buttons2]

just now seeing this. Alex,what did I say about MJ? can't sy if ever helped my pain & now that I have a concussion it's not a good idea for me to smoke. does relax a person for sure. all the hype going on here in WA is getting pretty corny. want to make $$$. personally I don't know anyone that will pay tax of $50 for an ounce. figure they will manage to screw this up just like alcohol sales. talking $11 for a gram! make it too expensive & it won't go over too well. personally I'd hate to live in AZ myself. Your gov. is a real wacko in my opinion.

[houghchrst]

Pati I think Alex may be referring to post five in this thread when you mentioned MJ possibly messing with my sleep. Actually I sleep much better with the MJ. That miserable nightly vivid dreaming has faded unless I am really stressed out. I have also learned that if I wake up say at 8 a.m. run to the bathroom and climb back in bed then I am far more likely to have anxiety dreams.

Met my new psych today. He is also a MD and studies Neuropsychiatry. Raised my nightly dose of Klonopin to 1mg, which I basically had already done. Is planning to run a blood panel checking specifically D, B12, Testosterone, and a couple of other things. Wants to do this before we decide how to treat my anxiety.

I asked him if he had any recommendations for quitting smoking and he sadly said he really didn't then went on to talk about how hard quitting smoking is and to watch out for my migraines.

[tic chick]

hey chris!

well, different meds for different heads, but...

i actually started getting more vivid dreams when i started taking klonopin.

also, i get my blood tested about twice a year for liver and kidney probs and leukopenia (decrease in white blood cells), which my doc says are the side effects that would cause him to take me off klonopin.

just some info...

jeannie

[houghchrst]

seems like I am always getting blood work done for somebody. My Primary keeps a close eye on things due to my thyroid psych always checked but it has been a while since I have had anything more than their usual list of things checked for.

My stress levels contribute to my vivid dreaming sort of nightmares. Since I raised my dose of Klonopin I have been sleeping much deeper than I was.