September chitchat

[agate]

I looked up YKK zippers and have an impression that they often are made so you can zip/unzip them either way? If so, I have one on my winter jacket, which I've had for about 25 years, and it's never been a problem, which is amazing for a zipper in my experience.

As for scarves, aren't there ways of wearing a scarf so it doesn't show? I have a scarf I sometimes use under that jacket when it's very cold. It's more what you might call a muffler---just a long rectangle made of wool. Nobody would notice it because it's covered up mostly by the jacket. But if you mean the lighter-weight type of scarf that people sometimes wear bunched up in various ways around the neck, I wouldn't want to bother with that myself but wouldn't worry for a minute about creating the wrong impression.

The trouble with scarves that are done that way is that they so often work their way into odd situations where they look odd, as if they'd been put on wrong. At least that's what happens with me but maybe I don't know how to arrange them right. I gave up long ago on wearing anything "fussy."

My take on it is that I'm disabled and the world just can't expect me to be a fashion plate. If my clothes are clean and fit reasonably well, I'm happy enough. I like to combine colors that won't clash but that's a bit of fussiness many people wouldn't care about.

I haven't noticed that men aren't wearing scarves or that they are but I don't see fashion magazines or go to places where people are paying much attention to style. The people I typically see are always dressed very casually--van drivers, people working in offices, my retiree neighbors. So my limited view of the world isn't going to answer your question very well. But I'm in favor of wearing whatever is most comfortable and easiest for you.

[flatcap]

Thanks, agate.

I went looking for the 'right' scarf on Etsy and discovered there is a lot more to them than meets the eye. I never considered the length of the scarf, for example. I only knew I wanted wool, not silk. I will probably have to just try one.

Prices vary widely — very widely. There are brand name scarves that go for upwards of $100 in good used condition. All I want is a scarf, so I located what looks like a nice herringbone wool scarf for a little over $20. That is still more than I anticipated, so I will have to think about it.

It looks like there is a wide market for men's scarves, which I never would have guessed. I haven't seen a man wearing a scarf for many, many years. I recently saw the lead character in the move, Capote, wearing one, but that doesn't count. The last time I wore one, I was a child. I hardly remember it. It might be fun to try one on now and see if it will actually work in cold weather.

Meantime, here are a couple of fun vintage graphics showing men wearing scarves and caps. I don't think I have an actual photo in my collection of cap pics.






ETA: Well, I went ahead and pulled the trigger on a 'new' scarf (new to me, anyway). I don't, and won't, have a way to take pics, so here is the listing on Etsy. At 42", it might prove to be a bit short, but we'll see.

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

Wish me luck. It was 'only' $26.40 shipped. That will buy a whole case of meal replacement shakes, and I need those now, too.

[agate]

If you want the scarf mainly for warmth and don't particularly want it showing, why not just put it on first so it's under the coat/jacket? That's what I do, anyway, when I wear the scarf I mentioned. A little edge of it might show around the neck and that is all. Of course the jacket/coat needs to be long enough so that the ends of the scarf don't peek out at the bottom but I crisscross it.

[flatcap]

That's how I plan to wear the scarf: under the jacket. At my age, I can't get away with the look the much younger fellow in the image above does. Plus, as you noted, my primary goal is warmth.

I'm not sure and will have to try it on, but I think a 42" scarf won't be too long for my mid-length coat. It probably won't show below the hemline. In fact, it may be too short. Only time will tell.

Regardless of its length, as you mentioned, the part of the scarf that might show is around the neckline above the collar. Then, there is the ritual of donning and doffing the scarf in public, such as at a restaurant. These things combine to show without doubt that you are wearing a scarf. This shouldn't bother me, I know, but I was curious what others here might think about men wearing scarves, and I appreciate your input.

It occurred to me tonight that fashion trends are regional. Maybe I'm not seeing men wearing scarves because they were never a thing around here. I have a feeling one regularly sees them in New York City, downtown Chicago, perhaps even San Francisco, but I could be wrong.


ETA

On an unrelated subject, last week, my friend helped me fill out some insurance forms. A few weeks before that, we went out to dinner as we sometimes do, and he paid the check before I had a chance to pitch in. So, after we finished the paperwork last week, I told him I owed him a high-dollar dinner, to which we went tonight.

Everything was going swimmingly until the dinner conversation turned toward politics. I try to keep our conversations apolitical, but my friend spends much of his life immersed in political outrage culture. He is so angry, it is scary sometimes. It's as if everything were political.

As a rule, Americans have had strong feelings about politics from day one, but what is going on now seems different to me. Whether or not it is, I wish people would just drop it. From my isolated viewpoint, relationships are more important than politics.

[agate]

That's a really different perspective on scarves for men. I never notice whether a man is wearing a scarf or not. Some wear them, some don't. If you don't have a car, and many don't in a big city like Chicago, it's more or less understood that in some colder weather you're probably going to wear a scarf, and it's going to be quite warm.

I recall times in Chicago when I wore not only a winter coat and a wool scarf tied across the lower part of my face as well as a hood, plus two pairs of gloves, plus boots high enough so I could walk through snow without having the snow seep down into my feet from the tops of the boots. I had to walk about a mile to work sometimes, and there were days when it was 19' below. I have crocheted or knitted mufflers/scarves for people. It's a standard gift, very ordinary. Different climates beget different styles, I guess.

On the other hand, quite a few men (in Chicago) wouldn't dream of wearing boots or overshoes even though the need for them seemed obvious to me. Maybe it's considered sissified. The same goes for umbrellas.

As for the politically-minded friend, I don't envy you your dilemma, flatcap. It's a constant concern for me too. I don't see friends in person very often, and the ones I do see are people with whom I probably have no political differences. But there are some people I correspond with, and we just never get into politics. I have no idea where they stand politically but have made some guesses, and I don't think we'd be on the same page. If I want to stay in contact with these people, I just avoid politics but it sounds as if your friend won't stay away from it.

Could you let him know that you'd prefer to stay off of politics? You could even play a neurological disorder card--in fact, you could actually play two of them. You could say that you find some topics too stressful.

[flatcap]

That's one thing I was wondering about: whether people here thought men wearing scarves were sissified, or whether anyone thought that might be the perception of society at large now. I was also wondering whether people thought that, in view of all the modern, arguably more practical alternatives, the style was too dated. As I said, I never see men wearing scarves around here, and there must be reasons for it. It isn't the weather. Our winters are plenty cold.

Regarding politics, I have thought about asking my friend if we could stay away from the topic. Last night, I almost wrote him a one-line email saying I would prefer we not discuss it anymore, but I'm not sure that would fix things. Like I said, everything is political with him these days. He lives and breathes politics. If it weren't coming up in conversation, there probably wouldn't be one.

Then, there are the conspiracy theories, some of which are downright bizarre. For example, my friend earnestly believes we never went to the moon and that it was all a giant conspiracy. To what end, I do not know. Frankly, I don't think he does. He also thinks the government is covering up physical evidence of extraterrestrials visiting Earth. He evidently saw or heard reports from the recent congressional hearing on UFOs and bought them hook, line, and sinker. Seriously.

The political conspiracy theories similarly go off the deep end. For example, he thinks governments around the world, including ours, are scheming to eliminate the concept of private property. He says government doesn't want you owning anything. He also thinks the 1% want to take over and rule the world, yet he also says money is not their true objective. He thinks it is all about political power.

So, I kind of have to sit there sometimes and listen to it and try not to say anything. That doesn't always work, though. Sometimes what he says is so far out there, I can't do anything but tell him he must be kidding. I have also more than once said I do not believe in conspiracy theories. Then, like he did again last night, he will say that I need to or should "wake up," which is odd because he is on a campaign against the "woke." I don't think there is much to be done about this. All I was doing, and all I am doing now, is venting.

[agate]

Sounds as if the friend might get his hackles up too much if you sent him an e-mail saying you'd prefer to stay off of politics as a discussion topic. Might it go over better if you waited until the next time he raised an issue you'd prefer not to get into, and then told him you don't want to comment on that (or on politics in general)?

He might still get his hackles up but if it's moving toward a confrontation, maybe you could just say, "Look, you and I don't see eye to eye on politics, and I don't enjoy debating because it can be stressful--so could we just steer clear of politics?"

Healthy debates can be enjoyable but only so long as the people are being reasonable and not just pushing an agenda. They have to be willing to consider your side. This person's mind is pretty firmly made up, or at least that's how it sounds to me, and you might as well keep the peace as best you can.

[flatcap]

If I weren't so non-confrontational, I might do more about it than discuss it here. Whenever it is I next see or hear from him, it will be forgotten but remembered at the same time. That is how 'real men' operate in my friend's world.

You are right, anyway. My friend has firmly made up his mind on these things, so there really isn't any point in confronting him.

[agate]

It is really discouraging when someone you like and get along with has views you find hard to take.

I have a friend who puts great trust in psychics. I happen to have no use for psychics but have never told her that, not even when she once announced to me that the psychic had advised her to end our friendship. Or at least what the psychic said led her to think that that is what was meant.

The friendship didn't end as it happened but I keep my lip zipped whenever she mentions the psychic.

[Virginia]

Flatcap, I think you should wear the scarf. It doesn't need to be tied with a lot of flair, but it can be worn as in the first Kuppenheimer picture above. I am going to get one out to go with my heavy jacket. I would explain how I will tie it but I can't tell you, it is too complicated. I can do it in a moment, but it is not something I can explain in writing. I have bunches of scarves, but this heavy, nice one is a color I like to wear close to my face.

I went out Monday and got my hair done. Then I went to the grocery store. Then I stopped and got some food to bring home for that night. I couldn't believe how good I was walking. I had better balance, and my stride was better than it has been in a very long time. It felt so good, and I felt good. I think it was the weather. It was a beautiful day, the highs in the upper 70s with very low humidity. I think the weather pressure must have been just right.

Then, came Tuesday and today. So different. I have been in, but the weather turned cool and just damp feeling. All the problems were back with a bang. Amazing the difference the weather can make for me, both good and bad. However, we very seldom get weather that is as good for MS as Monday was. I had forgotten how it made me feel.

Hope all of you are having perfect MS weather. I wonder where a person could live in order to get that kind of weather all the time.

[flatcap]

Thank you for your feedback, Virginia. I'm going to go ahead and try the scarf and see if I can pull it off. I'm looking forward to giving it a go.

I'm glad you had such a wonderful Monday. Temperatures in the 70s and low humidity are hard to beat. The right weather can make all the difference in the world, as can bad weather, of course, only not for the better.

I don't know where in the US you can find the right kind of weather for MS'ers year-round other than southern California. That's the rumor, anyway. I have never been to California.

We have very short Springs and Falls where I live, which is kind of sad. It would be fine with me if it were 72° with a light breeze and low humidity all the time, plus the occasional rain and thunderstorm for entertainment. Lol

[Virginia]

Flatcap, I have never been to California either, but I have heard some parts are very hot. There is one place that supposedly has really great weather, but I can't remember the name of it.

[flatcap]

Virginia, my brother lives in San Diego, but I haven't heard from him in many years. The last time I did, he gave the impression that the weather was just right virtually all the time.

It didn't sound like they get much rain in San Diego, though. I would miss the rain, as I do now. We don't get much rain where I live, and we almost never have a thunderstorm.

[agate]

I thought quite a lot about the climate problem after I was diagnosed with MS and realized how much hot and cold weather affected me. I wouldn't have considered southern California because it gets quite hot there.

I did notice that the Puget Sound area had weather that was pretty much the same year round--50-70' degrees. That is where I lived for 26 years and never really missed air conditioning (uh, much--there were a few miserable days in the upper 90s).

And one day I happened to be looking at a map of the town I was living in, and there was this statement (which I don't remember precisely but this was the general idea): "This town has one of the most equitable climates in the world."

So far I haven't heard of any other part of the US that is quite like that area but there may be many.

[agate]

If stillstANNding is still reading here, happy anniversary to our ANN and Peter (September 28!) I had the privilege of meeting this couple some years ago, and they are special people.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, STILLSTANNDING!