OT Febuary Chit Chat

[Frog42]

I can only say how sorry I am. Please take care of yourself.

[Jeanie Z]

:) Jendie you, your husband and your family are in my prayers. My faith has helped me through many things including
David's cancer and death. I miss his company, but I also can rest whenever I want now. Take care of yourself too. Jeanie :)

[stillstANNding]

(((jendie)))

ANN

[Howie]

I wish they had the "Death with Dignity" here in my State when my dad passed away. He had cancer, and did a pretty good job of covering just how much pain he was in from my mom, and my siblings.

He ended up on Morphine, and was being looked after by my mom at home, and by the Hospice people who came by daily. My mom would administer the morphine when Hospice wasn't there.

But she was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and I sometimes wonder if she OD him by accident. If so, I'm glad she did. It ended the terrible suffering he was going through.

If I lived in a state that allowed Assisted Suicide, I really couldn't say yes or no at this point of my life. It would be a tough decision, but one only YOU should be able to make.

[Catdancer]

Oh, Jendie, I'm so sorry it's come to that. I know whatever decision he makes will be so very difficult for you. Take care of yourself as best you can in these times.

[SuzE-Q]

Jendie, I'm so sorry.

I'm glad there is a choice available to him if living in his condition has become intolerable, although of course we always wish things weren't so bad.

(((hugs)))

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Jendie)))))) ~

Your avatar of you and Tom is so very poignant and beautiful. Your love for each other shines through. Your support of Tom's choice is the epitome of true, unconditional love. And his choice may also be to spare you the pain of witnessing him withering and suffering, which is true, unconditional love.

After our son, Michael, passed, the Sister, who had stood beside us during his final journey, spoke to us about life beyond this realm. She said that we are all tied to the physical, our physical senses, which makes the physical loss of our loved one so extremely painful. To comfort that pain and bring peace, we must now focus on the spiritual connection we have with our loved one. That connection lives forever, eternally. When we open our spirits to that connection, we feel the presence of our loved one, in many ways. We are only separated by an invisible wall, which in the blink of an eye, disappears.

This has been exquisitely revealed to me, Jon, and Jim for the past 13 plus years, so I know it's true. Nothing deters love. Not time nor space nor the thin veil between here and there.

With that awareness, Jim and I have been cultivating our spiritual connection, since his diagnosis. It is helping us, so I encourage you and Tom to share with each other all of your memories, and delve deeply into your union. After so many years together, we might think that we've already done that. In our case, 25 years of 24/7/365 time together. But we hadn't. We were too busy doing, living, meeting responsibilities.

Now is the time for you and Tom to reflect and connect. To recapture the energy between you and Tom in your avatar photograph. Take time for each other, to be together, to say everything you want to say, maybe never said, to make amends, if needed, to connect your spirits for eternity.

I pray that you are both surrounded by peace, love and light, and that the caring, loving support of your friends here brings you comfort ~



Love & Light,

Rose

[agate]

There's something wrong with this month. It lost some days. That's really all right because February often seems like January all over again, and I've usually had enough of January by the end of that month.Howie, your new avatar looks like a car to me but I'm sorry to say I can't say what's remarkable about it. I hope you'll be able to say more about it.

[nuthatch]

(((((((((((Jendie)))))))))))

[Jeanie Z]

:) Jendie my last thoughts last night were of you and your husband. My first thoughts this morning were also of you two. Prayers continue for you both.

Rose's suggestion about sharing your feelings with each other was an excellent idea. My David would share anything but his feelings. I hope it is easier for the two of you. Jeanie :)

[jendie]

Thanks BBS, agate, Frog, Jeanie, Ann, Howie, Cat, Rose, Nuthatch, and anyone else I may have forgotten.

Tom has stage IV esophageal cancer that metastasized to his liver and lymph nodes. By the time he learned about the cancer it had already spread. It was terminal when he started chemo and after 8 treatments he decided to stop the treatments because it gave him neuropathy where his hands, feet, and throat were super sensitive to cold. It wasn't going to cure him and he wanted to be able to enjoy his final days.

He had gone from a healthy 6' 175, down to 6' 140ish depending on whether he has had paracenticis recently. His liver isn't functioning properly anymore and causes fluid to build up in his abdomen. He gets it drained off at home by a hospice nurse and doctor every Friday. Last week they got 5 liters and he noticed it was building up again on Sunday.

He's not really in a lot of pain most of the time, it's mostly discomfort, weakness, and acid reflux because of the esophageal stent the doctor put in because tumors blocked the opening to his stomach and didn't allow food in easily. The stent means he can't eat a lot of foods because they could clog the stent and if he never drinks another Ensure it would be too soon.

Tom isn't new to cancer, he had cancer a child (can't remember which one at this moment), and Stomach cancer in 2005, now this in 2016. He didn't want to go see a doctor when he first started having sx in June because he had a sinking feeling it was cancer again.

When he went through treatment as a kid there was another kid at the hospital battling cancer and his parents made him go through treatments that didn't help they only kept him alive longer and the kid was miserable. I didn't want Tom to continue treatments if they weren't helping and only made him miserable. I love him too much to do that to him.

[agate]

Jendie, it's hard to think of anything to say to someone in your situation. Esophageal cancer is particularly dreaded, and a person can only hope to be as comfortable as possible.

I hope you are being kind to yourself at this difficult time. I'm sure Tom is very glad you're there.