OT Febuary Chit Chat

[agate]

Agate, they did lie to me and I would not have known any of them were going to have the party tonight if I had not been there last night. I was called about last night because my older brother and his wife were going to be there. So, I pretty much had to be notified about that.

I could not have gone out again tonight, but that does not make me feel any better about any of this. All other family members knew what was going on. I was the only one who did not. Only time will tell how much damage has been done.

Virginia, I have no idea what I would do in your situation. Maybe hope that they'll get over it? Or maybe make sure they don't think that you're excluding them? They might have taken your Facebook posts to mean that you didn't want to have anything more to do with them--though that would be a stretch. But it might not hurt to let them know that you haven't written them off.


All of my family were on the same page politically, pretty much. There were an aunt and uncle who weren't but the rest of us--my parents, 3 brothers and sister and their spouses, my husband--saw as little of them as possible because we didn't like having to put up with some of the views they expressed. It was hard to argue with them during a social occasion that was meant to be pleasant, and so I think most of us just tried to change the subject and move on but they were hard to take at times.

Actually the aunt (my mother's sister) was a dear in many ways and not nearly as rabidly right-wing as her husband, and I think that many of us put up with them as a couple because we liked her, and she was enough like our mother that we enjoyed many of her good qualities. She had a great sense of humor and a lot of common sense.

The whole country is badly split and feelings are still running high. I've heard of families being divided over some of the issues that are currently raging. I hope that yours won't be one of them but if it is, you might find friends out there who would be a more welcoming "family" for you.

You probably won't have changed anyone's mind. That doesn't seem to happen much at all. But at least you can hope that they'll realize that it's harsh of them to exclude you just because you expressed some opinions they didn't share. After all, they had been expressing their opinions. Why shouldn't you speak up?

[Sunshine]

Seems like the rancor in nation solely centers around DT. He is a horrible person. When I hear a friend voted for him, it’s hard to have positive feelings about them. It must be harder with family.

DT has hurt people I care about. He has hurt me and my community. This isn’t just politics.

[SuzE-Q]

Virginia, I'm very sorry. I sometimes wish I didn't know some people's politics because it has changed my opinion about them, even though I liked them before I knew. It colors my opinion now, and I just can't help that. I imagine it must change theirs about me too. There's just no meeting in the middle about certain differences of opinion on some fundamental issues.

Like you, there are just some things I can't stay silent about though, I just see a bully and it goes back to schoolyard politics and standing up for those being bullied. I do try to remember though that many of his supporters don't see the situation with the same "view" as I do, so to them, they AREN'T being racist, etc., their perspective sees it differently.

BBS (love your new name, took me a bit of reading back to figure it out!), the interesting change I've seen though is that anti-T R's and D's seem to have more in common now than differences. So, he has probably done more to bring people of different party affiliations, outside of his small group of supporters, together than most any other issue!

I find myself agreeing more with them and can see many areas where we actually can find common ground!

I found it telling once when a late night talkshow host gave statements, without letting on who said the statement. It was very surprising what we agree with if we don't know who said it and allow party politics be a factor!

Virginia, as with DT as well, sometimes it's the cover up and actions afterwards that is more divisive. I'm definitely thinking that about your family too. If we don't go down that road, as you clearly didn't, but they did, sometimes we can find our way back to common ground again when emotions have run their course.

But, I would have been very hurt and shocked at the pettiness they've shown you. I'm sorry you experienced this. Hopefully, they'll see the error of their ways in hindsight and apologize.

Howie, I didn't even KNOW they made pop tarts without frosting! I have a very tight budget this month too, so lots of grilled cheese sandwiches ahead for me, I think! Chocolate for Valentines though!

Jeannie, I don't have a microwave, so those dinners are out for me. Although, my kettle just broke, so, maybe I'll get a microwave instead of a kettle since I won't need the kettle if I can heat water in a microwave.

[Howie]

Microwaves have been around so long, you can get one really cheap. They are so easy to use, and I love being able to make a meal in 5 minutes.

[agate]

SuzE-Q, I've heard that you can heat water in a microwave but haven't ever tried it. I've had a microwave for about 10 years now and just can't seem to get out of the habit of the old-fashioned stove. I trust it more than I trust the microwave.

All of that heat being generated at once is a bit unsettling. I'm used to a flame as in gas stoves--or electric heating elements. I really liked gas because you could adjust the flame so precisely and you knew exactly how much heat you'd be getting.

Seconds make all the difference in whether a microwaved item turns out well or not. SECONDS.

That's been a new concept to wrap my head around. I'm getting there but given a choice, I almost always choose the electric stove. I'm still heating water in a kettle or an ordinary saucepan.

Microwaves make great popcorn and do very well on mushrooms. As for microwaveable frozen dinners, there are some tricks I've had to learn. One is to figure up the timing based on the wattage of your microwave. The package instructions are for microwaves with a certain wattage and it's usually not the same as mine, which is 1150.

Another is to be very careful about stirring if the instructions say you need to stir something. Stirring it really well helps.

Still another is always to put a moistened paper towel over any frozen meal being microwaved. Not sopping wet but moistened with water, then wrung out slightly. It keeps the food from turning out too dry.

With all of these things to remember, I get edible microwaved frozen meals, and just about everyone seems to have a microwave now. They're even providing them in houses and apartments, sometimes instead of a regular stove.

I followed Consumer Reports guidelines when I got my microwave, and it has been a really good one, with never a problem. I use it only once or twice a week but any issues I have with it are just me being too set in my ways.

[Virginia]

Agate, I just put a mug or cup in the microwave and heat water for tea or hot chocolate in 2 1/2 minutes. I have been doing it since the 80s. It would now just seem like a lot of trouble to do it any other way. We do get so set in our ways sometime about how we do things. At least I do. I fix many things in the microwave. I had microwave popcorn tonight.

Agate, just so you will know, and I think you probably already do, my family knows I have not turned my back on them. I was as nice to everyone last night as I could be. I talked and joked about things that happened way back in the family. Even after I knew they were having a party tonight I continued on. I do not know where my youngest niece stands on this. They were having it at her house. The only people who hugged me last night was my oldest niece from out of town and her husband and her Dad my older brother and his wife. But none of the family from here. Still, I joined in with them as much as I could and did not let my disappointment show. When I realized what was going on and they were openly discussing it, I merely said I would have loved to go to Erica's and then I let it go for the rest of the night. When I made that statement not one person said a word. Deep down if they ever think about it they will know from past history that I would never turn away from them, no matter their believes. By the way, the two brothers and two wives from here in Raleigh all go to the same church. I don't know what that church believes in or if it even makes any difference. but they are on the same page.

[Catdancer]

Heating water in a microwave is simplicity itself. Pour water in a mug or cup, heat on high for 2-3 minutes, remove, insert tea bag. No pan to wash, no waiting for kettle to boil. My microwave is used probably a dozen times a day to make tea, reheat coffee, warm breakfast rolls, defrost meat for dinner, roasting potatoes, and now heating those neat bags of veggies sold in the frozen food aisle as "steam fresh".

Not to mention an easy way to clean the inside: heat the water to boiling, let it boil a minute, remove.....then wipe down the inside of the oven. All the stray particles of junk will wipe away.

[Howie]

Mine needs cleaning, but I keep putting it off.....maybe tomorrow.

Something that's also just made for a microwave, is bacon. Lay it on a paper towel, and cover it with one, and there are no spatters on the inside, and it makes perfect bacon.

[agate]

A microwave can be a huge convenience, I'm sure. I feel as if I wouldn't have much control over it in case of a fire, though, and that much heat would make a mighty hot fire.

There's also the expense of getting a new microwave (and the nuisance). It's not so easy to unload a microwave that no longer works around here. I've seen neighbors get into trouble for leaving discarded microwaves out by the dumpster. The management company refuses to pay to have these items removed. I'm trying to make my microwave last and last by using it as little as possible. Getting it in the first place was a big deal for me.

Virginia, it sounds to me as if you did exactly the best thing in behaving as if you weren't hurt (even though you were). If you'd made an issue of it, it might have snowballed into a family quarrel and would have been embarrassing and uncomfortable for you.

Those relatives who belong to the same church may have a pastor who is using the pulpit to preach politics. I understand that this is often done. They're not supposed to tell their congregations how to vote or endorse particular candidates or issues but I believe they can still talk about political issues pretty much full time if they want.

I'm not the person to know about this, of course, since I'm not much of a churchgoer....

If they're getting their views from their church's leadership, they're probably going to be determined to keep those views unless they leave the church. There may not be much you can do but put up with them.

[SuzE-Q]

You are a class act, Virginia!

Agate, yes, when I used to have a microwave, I still heated water in a kettle too.

I do miss microwave popcorn and reheating food, but I haven't felt so deprived without it as I first thought I would, I intended to replace it right away, but, as time went on, I found I wasn't really missing it as much as I thought I would.

And I'm not finding it such a headache to boil water in a pot now either. I get my exercises in while waiting.

[Catdancer]

The heat in a microwave is heat in the food...not in the oven. The microwaves cause the particles in the food to move against each other, creating heat that cooks the food, not the surroundings. Next time you use it, take the food out and reach back in...the walls are cool...well, warm, but not hot! Don't try this with a conventional oven! That's why boiling water in a microwave to clean it works: you pull out the water and then you can immediately sponge it down.

Like any electrical appliance there is a chance of fire, but a pop up toaster is a much greater danger than a micro, a toaster oven more dangerous....

Yes, recycling appliances is a challenge. I have two TV's I can't get rid of.

I don't think we'd get used to not having one, we use ours so often...

[agate]

The heat in a microwave is heat in the food...not in the oven. The microwaves cause the particles in the food to move against each other, creating heat that cooks the food, not the surroundings. Next time you use it, take the food out and reach back in...the walls are cool...well, warm, but not hot! Don't try this with a conventional oven! That's why boiling water in a microwave to clean it works: you pull out the water and then you can immediately sponge it down.

Like any electrical appliance there is a chance of fire, but a pop up toaster is a much greater danger than a micro, a toaster oven more dangerous....

Yes, recycling appliances is a challenge. I have two TV's I can't get rid of.

I don't think we'd get used to not having one, we use ours so often...

My reluctance to use the microwave much is mainly an example of how you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I see how many watts it's drawing and get scared. Anything with that many buttons on it is intimidating too. Maybe some day I'll adjust.

[Howie]

Your computer, or whatever you use to get online has lots of buttons, but you use it no problem. It's just a matter of getting used to it. A microwave is the same.

I cook some type pasta on the stove, then put it in the fridge, and each day, spoon out some on a plate, and microwave for 3 minutes, and it's ready to eat. And it's HOT. Come on, it's easy!

[Catdancer]

Just don't operate it on the same circuit you're operating your coffee pot...or at least don't run both at the same time! You'll blow a fuse! :)

[agate]

Catdancer, you may have pinpointed the electrical problem Howie's been having....

Howie, I do actually use the microwave. I just don't use it as much as many people do. It's not quite the same as a computer. I don't think of a computer as likely to burst into flames. I've heard of some bad microwave fires. Cooking often involves pretty high heat. Computers don't. I'm fairly fanatical about not wanting a kitchen fire. Or any fire. I've been through a couple of bad fires and the experience wasn't my idea of one of life's not-to-be-missed adventures.



I just didn't learn to know and trust microwaves when they were the newest thing. I missed the boat and now I'm like something that just crept out of a cave and I'm blinking my eyes when I find out that there's a whole world out there that I knew nothing about.