What's Happenin' (Part 2)

[clouds z]

hello tired whats new?

[clouds z]

Welll these days have been pretty miserable. My pain makes it hard to walk even to the bathroom. My back injections were cancelled thanks to my insurance screwing up now I have to wait for about another two weeks. I'm relying so hard on these back injections I will be devastated if I don't get some relief.

These are my two fosters. They will be my last two maybe forever. The pain is just excruciating. One in the basement and one in the sewing room. Both are very sweet and one already has a home he will be going to. I tried. That is all I can say. It is too much work mentally, emotionally and physically. Not to mention that it takes a toll on my animals.



All of my tests are coming back fine. Even the pulmonary scans. Doc still says he doesn't know what caused my heart attack. Doing another leg ultrasound, he is bound and determined to find the cause. When I see him again I will once again bring up the Ibuprofen

My lawn mower is broke so my grass is knee high in some places. CJ is slowly getting it fixed. Replacing belts and pulleys. I hope to start today before he disassembles it to put the new pulley on.

Saw my shrink for med update. told him I am seriously depressed and what is going on at my house. He says I should be seeing my therapist every week lol, even she thought that was a bit much. So we are going every three weeks.

I'm done just depressing

well i hope youre healed --thoughts and prayers

[clouds z]

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register... THE ORDER FOR THE VISITATION OF THE SICK. I. VISITATION. ¶ When any person is sick, notice shall be given thereof to the Curate of the Parish ; who shall minister to the sick person after the form following, or in like manner. ¶ When he cometh into the sick person’s house, he shall say, PEACE be to this house, and to all that dwell in it. ¶ When he cometh into the sick man’s presence he shall say, kneeling down, Let us pray. Lord, have mercy upon us. Christ, have mercy upon us. Lord, have mercy upon us. OUR Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; In earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; But deliver us from evil. Amen. Minister. O Lord, save thy servant; Answer. Which putteth his trust in thee. Minister. Send him help from thy holy place; Answer. And evermore mightily defend him. Minister. Let the enemy have no advantage of him; Answer. Nor the wicked approach to hurt him. Minister. Be unto him, O Lord, a strong tower; Answer. From the face of his enemy. Minister. O Lord, hear our prayers; Answer. And let our cry come unto thee. Minister. O LORD of all grace and blessing, behold, visit and relieve this thy servant. Look upon him with the eyes of thy mercy, give him comfort and sure confidence in thee, defend him from the danger of the enemy, and keep him in perpetual peace and safety ; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Hear us, Almighty and most merciful God and Saviour ; extend thy accustomed goodness to this thy servant who is grieved with sickness. Amen. Sanctify this trial unto him, that the sense of his weakness may add strength to his faith and seriousness to his repentance. Amen. May it be thy good pleasure to restore him to his former health, that so lie may live the rest of his life in thy fear, and to thy glory. Amen. And whatsoever the issue that thou shalt ordain for him, give him grace to be so conformed to thy will, that he may be made meet to dwell with thee in life everlasting through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The Order in the form of 1662 is not reprinted here, being, for the most part, contained in the Order following. II. EXHORTATION TO FAITH AND PRAYER. Then shall the Minister exhort the sick person upon such subjects as the following OUR Heavenly Father, in his love for all men, uses sickness as a gracious means whereby to correct his children. Our Lord Jesus Christ, ever present with us, is ready to impart to us spiritual strength to use sickness well to the glory of God.

[houghchrst]

Thank you deeply cloudz I needed that.

impart to us spiritual strength to use sickness well to the glory of God.

wonder what 'use sickness well' means, anyone? could it mean use your experience with your sickness to help others?

Both of my foster dogs have been adopted by wonderful families. It was really a lot for me. Too much. I will stay in the loop for emergency holds and maybe dip in again in the future but kripes I can barely care for myself.

Right now my good knee, the left, is not so good anymore. Quite frankly it feels like the cartilage in my knee is almost gone. That is my leading stair leg because my right knee is so messed up. They got me in for Aug 29th. I cried on the phone. That is so long. It is my summer yet again to be screwed by my body.

My lung scan came back normal so I don't need to go back until November. My back injections were cancelled the day before I was supposed to go. Referral denied. Somebody lied on the phone to me and claimed it was denied and he was sending the proper paperwork back and to check back. I called my insurance and nothing had been turned in until after I called pain management.

Lawn mower fixed sort of. It only starts when it wants so I get to mow my lawn in fits and starts. At least I have a great weedeater. I bought one of those Worx infomercial battery powered one that works wonderfully and is lightweight.

Not feeling so good, been out in the sun all morning and am on my second pain pill which I usually don't do but my lawn work needs to get done. Jared needs to get out there today too.

[joy]

it is always good to look here and see that a few still manage to come here but the best part is when i can read how they are doing and know that they are still fighting the battles that happen in life. i know tey might not be winning but at least they are still fighting.

a long trip back to big city to see doctor about my liver yesterday anf=d they did NOT do anything. oh yeah they did schedule another visit in july and will do a mri and docytor will look at it the same day. wow. now thsd is how it shoud work lol.

hang in there you good people and try to have a plesant summer. i might get miserable with the heat of summer but at least the warm does not make my bones and muscles hurt as much. i can be thankful for that muh at least. take care all.

[houghchrst]

Joy good to see you. I hope this summer isn't too rough on you. I can't tolerate the heat but it seems that here in Michigan we are breaking our own records this month with the heat. I about did myself in working in the yard during it. The grass was higher than my riding lawn mower lol. Got a code enforcement letter cause of it. I knew it was coming. My poor Doxie couldn't see through most of the yard. He had paths through the tall grass that he regulated LOLOL.

upper 80s yesterday and today I had to run the heat once. Now is good time to work in yard but my knee; I am afraid of screwing it up, I rested for a day so today I can limp around better lol. The doc office must have gotten sick of me calling for cancellations because they scheduled me to see a nursing assistant in two and a half weeks which is much better than three months for the doc. All I need is a referral for an MRI of my left knee and my other checked also. I know I have a bone spur on my right knee. Yeah and still waiting for approval for my back injections. This HMO I have is terrible. I am thinking of changing.

took our sweet Belladonna to be spay yesterday. She is a tad out of it when I picked her up this morning. It is kinda scaring me. I called the clinic and they said she shouldn't be having any affects from anesthesia or the pain meds even though those can last up to 36 hours. They are open until three and if she isn't a bit better by one then I will take her back in. This rescue in Michigan opened near detroit and were doing shuttles around the lower part of the state to do spay/neuter, discount vaccines and generally helping rescue and save low income family pets. They finally got big enough that they were able to open two more veterinary clinics that do a basic wellness service and spay and neuter. So incredibly affordable. I got Bella fixed for $40. Been using them for basic vet services on both her and Dash. Anything major and they go to my regular vet.

Brakes on car are getting bad so have had to make my trips short. CJ should have a good car for me in a week or two and this one will go for scrap if it doesn't sell. I am still devastated that my Aztek blew the head gasket. I love that truck. Trying to sell that over this weekend if not then it is going to the scrap yard full of all the scrap metal I have been slowly amassing to put in it for weight. I am not getting the money because CJ is the one that bought the car and is putting money in it. This will be his recompense.

Not much else going on. Well not true but it is the same old bull**** and I am tired of repeating myself. Gonna have a fire today and burn some trash and wood. think i might have a drink or two tonight. A little music and fairy lights.

[clouds z]

hello hope all is well

[houghchrst]

Hi Clouds, I hope you are well and the weather is lovely in your neck of the woods. Right now seems you and me are keeping this one going lol.

Joy I am eager to hear how your MRI went. Please keep us updated, we miss you.

No music and fairy lights for me. I feel like having a small party but that doesn't usually go over well. We are all getting too old. By 8 at night I am ready for 9 to get here so I can go to bed. Bought a small can of Fizzy White Sangria, drank it last Saturday evening not so good. Killed the mood. I just don't see the point in drinking alone. It's no fun. I'm just bored outta my mind. I haven't been to my social clubs because the brakes are going out on this car. CJ is slowly working on mine, he knows I'm going nuts. Gas here is averaging about $3 a gallon so it costs me to go anywhere.

I have been working on the yard. Thank God CJ got my mower fixed. I bought that WORX weed whacker and I will tell you that this baby is perfect for those that are disabled and do their own lawn work. It came with two batteries and a four pack with string that easily pops in and out. I also bought the life time supply of string which is ridiculously cheap. I have been using the same spool of string since last year thats how strong this string is. It works just as good as a gas whacker but is 1/3 the weight. One battery on the charger and one in the whacker and you can just switch them out when it dies. The more you use it the longer the charge lasts. It goes into all different kind of positions for comfort and for getting under things and come with a wheel that you can use in a couple different positions depending on how you want to mow. I even paid for it on a payment plan. WORX is the website.

I am doing an emergency hold on a friend's cat. She was in heat and escaped the house so she is pregnant and while they don't want to get rid of mama they cannot manage kittens so I found a rescue that will take her in and let her have her kittens, vet everyone, I am paying to have mom spay and I told the family they have 2 months to come up for the spay/neuter of the kittens which is only $10 each. This is her first litter so I don't expect her to have many. I felt that only reasonable. So they will get their mama back but she will no longer go into heat or get pregnant. The boys in this family adopted her, she was a stray and they have emotional and mental issues and this cat has kind of become their support animal. They are young men but still live at home.

okay I think I will go out and get some more done in the yard. It has been beautiful here and I need to go out and enjoy it.


Love all yous

[houghchrst]

I would like to say ahead of time thanks to those that read these long ramblings and even more if someone writes.

Yes it's me again. It's a quarter to six in the morning and I have been up since four. If I would go to the bathroom and take my ass back to bed I would go back to sleep but instead I have a cigarette and figure what the heck may as well get up and play on the puter for a while. No wonder I am hard pressed to stay awake until ten p.m. Jared is gone to his dad's for the evening. He'll be home about two thirty and probably go to bed. He doesn't sleep well at his dad's.

I still have the pregnant cat. She looks fit to burst lol, poor thing. I have started having an allergic reaction to her, it is affecting my asthma. I have no clue why we don't react to our Tuxedo Belladonna. We are both allergic to cats. I am taking mama to the rescue lady today. She has been so busy that neither one of us has been able to connect. She does a lot of animal outreach but hers are big animals also, they have a couple farms they go to take care of the animals there. Not to mention the usual cats and dogs at her fosters. By the time she gets home in the evening we are both too wiped out and pain wracked to go out. I just found out last night that she also suffers with chronic pain, arthritis, fibro, nerve damage, the usual. I would love to spend the day doing outreach with her but it will probably be too much for me. i don't know, I can spend hours outside working in the yard, pain wracked but pressing on anyway so I may be able to keep up with her lol.

My yard has been mowed and I have been going around with the loppers and taking down some minor brush that has grown up around my trees and sheds. There is a lot to do because I let a lot of it go. I get up early and wait for a decent time to start the mower without pissing off the neighbors LOL. My grandparents are probably rolling in their graves as my grandfather was yard proud. I have flowering bushes that need to be cut right down to almost nothing and a tree that is ready to fall down. One of the rows of flowering bushes is Hawthorn and it smells awesome when it flowers but it has lethal thorns on it, the kind that seem to reach out and grab you and man is that stuff insidious. It is trying to grow up all over the property. I would like to find someone to cut it way back but they will probably charge me a fortune because of the thorns.

Bought a new patio screen door. I am working on turning our patio into a catio so Bella can go out there and spend time. The old screen door had a section of screen cut out so the dogs could get out and I wouldn't have to go down the steps to go out and open the door. Well now I do and Dash is fond of being let out, playing for a while then coming to the screen door to be let in but when I get out there and open the door the little brat runs away, I have to laugh. He wants me to come out, he loves when I am out there even if we are not interacting directly, he constantly checks in with me. It makes me happy to watch him because he is so happy to be out just sniffing the squirrel trails and digging holes that his tail and butt are constantly wagging. I don't know what I'd do without him.

One of my aunts died over the weekend. She wasn't really an aunt but a cousin, our families were so close that even though my mom's best friend in the world was her first cousin, they were like sisters and inseparable so they were our aunts. It has always been that way so my aunt Karen died. The funeral is today and I just realized that I am supposed to be at the rescue the same time as the funeral. Maybe I can make it for part of it. I am heart sick about it. Now there is only one sister left. She was the baby of the girls. Soon there will be no one ahead of me. Her passing really brings back feelings about missing my mom. I would love to see everyone.

You know guys I gotta be honest here I don't know what is going on, meds, hormones (menopause), depressive mania, but my house is gross ( well mostly ), floors need sweeping constantly, they need mopping mostly, my room is full of clothes that need to be washed and trash, I can't remember the last time I dusted in there. Most of our money goes on bills and fast food because I hurt too bad to cook all the time. The fast food has triggered Jared's encopresis. His therapist (that he never even saw) referred us out of the clinic because I called and cancelled an appointment at the last minute because Dash had to be rushed to the vet. I have left voicemail but she has never returned my calls so I need to find somewhere else to go. They gave me a list. My psych says I need therapy once a week lol.

Hygiene has fallen to the way side, I couldn't care less and can't remember exactly when I took a shower last. Which I gag through because the well water is bypassing the softener and smells of sulfur. I haven't been anywhere worth showering for.

Basically I am miserable and I don't know why, I cry all the time. I hurt from the waist down at a pretty steady 7 if I am not doing anything. I get to 10 quite often throughout the day and have to rest the thought of having to use a rollater or walker just kills me. If something doesn't get done soon then I will be. If it weren't for my beloved riding lawn mower I don't know how I would get around the yard to get all this work done. LOL that reminds me of when I first started getting to know everyone and Joy would talk of riding her mule and for the longest time I thought she meant the four legged kind.

Then there are little things like I just looked out the patio door and the sun is shining just so into the patio. It's lovely. I can't wait to be out there working. I love the early morning sun. Wow I am rambling. Maybe I should go back to bed. Oh and I had the doc run a vitamin panel on me to check my levels, B12 I am most interested in and my D3. I can't remember if we checked hormone levels or not will next time I go in. They must have checked them when I was in the hospital for my heart attack because the cardio said I was menopausal. Maybe Effexor has finally pooped out. Therapist says there are quite a few new meds. I am terrified to get on that roller coaster again.

then I read this and feel stupid because everybody here is worse off than me and I have no business complaining and everybody including me is sick of my whining. I have all these tools for happiness at my fingertips, in my head, wants, like changing diet, mindfulness, meditation, creativeness but I feel stuck in this same miserable place constantly. Is it my pain? my meds? Is there a therapy to help people who are in constant pain?

I'm sorry so long for the rant.

[joy]

hello fellow suffer-errs,LOL.. sorry i had a dentist appointment today so i have not slept very much. grandson is here and i am so thankful for that. he is a great kid and helpful. our neighbor saw him out mowing our yard and called to see if he~d like ot mow his yard.. yep he sure would. after seeing the yard and getting the details of what the man wanted done he still said yes he woud mow.

well he was still in bed when hubby called and asked me to get Gson to hook up a trailer and for us to come pick him up. his truck had stopped running. geeze you all know i have all but quit driving as i have had way to many foot issues to prevent me from driving. I had missed going to my pain doc on the 4th of this month. so we had to go to another town to see him. this is all new as my regular doctor does not prescribe my pain meds at all!

So after we had finished seeing the pain doc we had stopped at that towns` wal~Mart. and i do what i do every time i am in one, i was looking at their bicycles. just a hobby as last few times i tried to ride one i could not even get on it. i could not get my right leg to go thru the bars and stearring wheel. and hiking my leg over the back and seat was out of the question also. the last time that i had actually rode a bicycle i kept hitting the front fender with my foot when i turned the stearing wheel!! i have big feet LOL so after i got off i recalled that `oh yeah i just need to use the tips of toes or ball of foot to peddle`

weird but like i said i cannot get on one now and if i did my ballance is to off. all of this to tell you all why i had to drive pulling a trailer. hubby had gotten up early to go buy a bicycle at our towns walmart. we were in store to return a grass trimmer that did not work. grandson wanted his own trimmer. his pappy had offered him one of his but no grandson wantd is own. so pappy had lent him this pay money he would be earning from mowing neighbors yard. and while at the desk return there was a beautiful pale blue huffy bicycle setting there a former $149.99 hubby asked what was wrong with it and they said the owner had tried to pop a wheelie and tore up the tire. hubby then offerd them a certain amount of money and after running it by the manager they said yes.

wow so now i had a bicycle i can`t ride yet and a hubby stranded in town in truck and so that is why grandson had to hook up a trailer to bring bike home with us after hubby was rescued. whew this is turuning into a book! long and boring one at that.

now way back in the first of year we were driving down our main street at town and noticed that the city workers were cutting down a hugh tree that had been there since way back when people drove horse and carriages to town or just rode horses. it was a beautiful tree and i asked hubby to please stop and let me talk to the workers.

what i wanted was some of the main trunk of that big`as* tree! they loadded some of the cut up trunk of the tree and brought 6 or so pieces to our house (with hubby paying a big price for them to do that)
..they have been sitting in our front yard since them.. i love to go outside and sit under the shade of our trees and just sit on the stumps. but ah`a that is how i can get on my new bicycle now. just stand on the stump and get on bicycle.

now if you are wondering how will i get off, well the same way i got off of hubbys` motorcycle way back when i was in my early 20`s. i just had to raise up my leg and let that motorcyce fall. ah you should have seen me riding it, i went down the dirt road that went to our big pond but when i wanted to turn round i had to go into a field that had corn rows in it. so it was up and over a row and repeat going over another row. my legs were flying up each row and it made me squeeze the gas so it was a comical sight and it was ever so much fun.

now this will not be one of those stories that men tell. you know here honey hold my beer while I do.......whatever. i`ll remind hubby to let you all know if i end up in hospital and when i get out, lol. this is after me having a bum leg that gives out on me and i have to sit down or fall down.

aw but who wants to live a boring life. i have not got to ride my jet ski at the lake, not at all last year but am hoping to this year. well this is soooo very long. i am missing a lot of people. Jeannie was sticking with us pretty good and i don`t see any replies from her. and there are a few that i am really worried about them so please people if you come back and read, please leave us a response at least. because i consider most all here friends. good friends that do not see my weight gain or my bad hair days etc, just know you are all cared for. be careful and let us know what you have been doing, ok?

[clouds z]

weather ok in wa state left side-im reading seattle has homeless tents all over or seeing it on tv-who do i blame?i get horrible health care i think

[tic chick]

hey all! good to see people posting when they can!

i have been in a kind of minor depression the last 3 weeks. i keep thinking about my husband and our life together for 37 years. i wonder if he was happy. i wonder why he started drinking again. i wonder why we weren't enough for him to go and get help because we all loved him. and then i remember that he was an addict, an addict to alcohol and i know that addictions f*ck with your mind so bad. he never tried therapy, but stayed sober while we were raising our kids because he didn't want to go thru the dt's like when he quit in 1976. that was a powerful memory. then, he took that first drink ........

my youngest daughter is coming over tomorrow. she took father's day off and i don't want her to be alone.

my dog, nick, was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy (enlarged heart). he is already about 14 or 15y/o, so he's had a good life since we found him in our backyard during a thunderstorm and took him in. he's on a heart med and a diuretic because he has some fluid in his lungs which is causing him to cough constantly. hard coughs. i called the vet today and we are upping his diuretic to see if that fluid can get out faster. meanwhile, i have been listening to him cough at night and not sleeping myself for the past week because i try and comfort him, but it doesn't make the cough go away. the vet thinks he might have chronic bronchitis, also. so monday we are going to the vet and getting another check. he can live another year or so taking the meds if something else doesn't come up or if the meds stop working.

i went to a hand doctor and got a cortizone shot in my thumb joint. it's been hurting me since last august and i thought the pain would go away over the winter because i don't garden then. i have osteoarthritis in that joint. the shot maybe took away 25% of the pain. i am still gardening and my entire thumb joint hurts at the end of the day. the work has to be done. though.

chris. i dunno what to say. i can see you are depressed. it was good to get involved in the animal rescue/foster thing. i know you have a therapist. sometimes a therapist has to push you and not just listen to you. if meeting with the therapist is like having coffee with a friend, i think it's time for a new therapist, imho.

joy, nice to see you checking in. sorry for your probs with everything and the numbness you feel. i'm happy that your grandson is around and that you get so much enjoyment from having him stay with you. kind of makes ya less worried about yourself and more interested in his life and i'm sure with him being a teen, it's a busy life! keep us posted on the mri results, please.

jingle, i hope you're doing ok. i've seen you posting in other forums , too. i do come here to lurk, usually in the morning.

clouds, i'm sorry you think you're getting horrible health care. only thing i can think is to stick with one doctor that you like and go to see him for a checkup about twice a year, even if nothing is wrong. i think that lets your doc know you are concerned with your health. beyond that, i don't have much advice.

nothing more to say. i am just tired and bummed today.

thank you for sharing and caring,
jeannie

[jingle]

Hi Jeannie, Hi everyone. Nice morning here - our miserable heat wave has ended, we even got a bit of much needed rain! I'm having some minor work done on my little condo. This morning a nice, young man is outside repairing a bathroom vent that leaks quite horribly. When that's checked he will replace the stained ceiling tile and I can forget about it.
And he's going to replace my sink faucet that always leaks and is plain ugly. I have a whole list of things that need to be done and this sure feels good.

My best friend ( and friends are hard to come by ) is moving--- leaving this area. Breaks my heart.

I hope each of you has a good friend to lean on, laugh with and depend on.

[houghchrst]

Morning all. Looks to be beautiful out today. Would like to get some more yard work done while it is nice out. I am finally cutting back my flowering shrubs that were turning into gigantic problems. Haven't been pruned back in a couple years.

Jeannie I can't imagine thumb injections. I have had feet, knee and back and so far I would have to say feet was the worst of them. I am so sorry you are in mourning. I understand with the holiday right bam in your face and the way things happened. I truly hope it becomes less painful and you come to some closure. Losing someone to an addiction is so very hard because you can see them doing a slow suicide right in front of you and you can't understand why they don't stop for the sake of the people in their lives they are hurting but that's not how they think of it. In their minds it is a selfish addiction that keeps holding the mantra that they are not hurting anyone but themselves and so what. Prayers for you and you're family.

Jingle I am so happy you are getting house repairs and such redone. I sure wish I could. I have a kitchen that is ready for painting, and I have the paint lol. Also have a bathroom that is still post gutted but pre finished. does that make sense?

Joy good to see you again and clouds I am sorry you two are not doing well.

Went and finally got my back injections Tuesday. Three on each side, L5, L6, and S1. I had it done under sedation which is a first but this is a new doc and I didn't feel like trying to brave it. It is Thursday and my lower back slightly aches from the intrusion but it does not hurt like it did. We will see how long it lasts. Went to ortho yesterday about my knees hurting so bad. Despite the left knee hurting the worst which was my good knee he said he saw less damage than in my right but most they could offer would be injections and OTC pain relievers. Injection in each knee. Says right hurts more because he has to poke through a lot of scar tissue. Wonderful. Tells me I don't need to stay off my feet but take it easy if I feel discomfort, discomfort lol, they hurt like hell. Am considering planting myself in front of the tv with some ice but I know I won't. I might take it easy but I have stuff that needs to be done.

I am temporarily done fostering. The lady who ran the rescue is a bit of a wack job. Very much bipolar with anger issues, she is awesome at what she does but she mostly goes for the pit mixes that so desperately need saving. So after we rehomed my fosters I opted to take a break. I have realized my limit and two fosters surpassed it. She was not happy and reamed me for offering to foster for another rescue. Like I belonged to her. So I am going to foster again as a free agent. Not under any one rescue unless I am fostering their dog at the time. some of the rescues don't mind if you are a free agent as long as the animal gets help.

Bella has figured out how to stick her big head in the crack of the screen door and push it open to get out. Sooo now we have to put a lock on inside and out. That way if I am out I can lock her in and she won't have to go back in the house. So much for the catio right now.

I have a new car. Compliments of CJ. Mercury Sable, don't know which year right now, is white of all things lol. Has radio which is a plus and brakes but no AC. No big deal there, it is minor compared. I could always have one put in.

The cat I was fostering is missing. I took her to the rescue that was going to temporarily foster her and her new kittens and she let her escape. Didn't even follow her own rescue protocol which is animal goes in prepared crate so it can be monitored and have an adjustment period. She just stuck her in her bedroom and closed the door. Later she tells me that the window in her room was partially open and the screen is tore so she could have gotten out. Then she tells me that somebody checked the attic and heard a cat's meow and some noises so that is her, never set eyes on her though. Well then she had her rescue crew up there and there was no cat. Now she is saying she thinks she is in the crawlspace. I have been posting flyers near her house and posting in many animal FB pages.

Honestly I think this woman knows where the cat is. I think she has her somewhere and so does the owner. She at first didn't want to give the mama back when she was approached with the idea but after she thought about it she came back and offered. I offered to pay for spaying the momma and the family would pay for the kittens spay/neuter ($10) each. That is unusual because it is usually the rescue that covers it but I only needed a sitter for her birthing and for kitten rescue. She agreed. She is terribly blase about the whole thing. She is disabled and fares better when the sun goes down and that is when cats are most active so she says that is when she goes out looking. We can't figure it out, Boots is very friendly and not shy so thinking someone may have her or she just is terrified. I should have done it myself, I had the room and the experience so now I have something else to kick myself in the ass about lol.

I will quit now otherwise I could leave this window open and take all day for another page of the novel.

[houghchrst]

Finally a small break in the weather. Still in the nineties but the dew point has dropped so it is more tolerable. Actually cool this morning and the birds are loving it. Bella is out on the patio I temporarily rigged the screen on the door so she can't get out now. Brand new door and the bottom corner spline won't stay in it's groove, groove is a hair too wide, going to have to glue it but it has been so humid I have no clue how long it would take to dry. So I neatly stapled it down. I am not taking it down and returning it lol. Ya get what ya pay for. That's okay it works.

Need to make another therapy appt. it has been over three weeks. go in and talk about all the things that are wrong and that I am stressed about and cry then go into all the good things, if any and there usually is so leave on a lighter note but I need to.....come clean?.....I am back to counting letters in my head, my back is a hot mess from my picking both of which I have discovered are OCD symptoms. I knew I had little OCDs, the ones to laugh about with friends because some of them are common, does that not make them legitimate OCDs? but I did not know that the other two had names and were a real thing. Maybe like you said Jeannie it is time to find a different therapist or tell her what I need from her. I have been with her for almost 15 years. Anyway so now I need to see my psych again and discuss possibly a new day med. Think Effexor days are numbered.

Lawn is looking halfway decent and I did a small clean up of weeds growing at the base of the trees in the woods so it is nice and neat. Going to have to have a big fire. I have a lot of scrap brush that needs burning. Had a guy offer me wood from a downed tree, didn't know they haphazardly cut it so all the trunk pieces have longer branches sticking off of them. Fire pit needs to be cleaned up. Cj came and got almost all of his stuff out of the garage so I would like to pick a day to go through my things and put them where I like. Too hot these days.

New car doing well, unfortunately I still have two vehicles in my driveway. He said they are going this week to his house. One with barely any brakes and the other overheats, he does not live close. Should be interesting.

I know I have gained weight. My ortho asked if I wanted to speak with a nutritionist at the bariatric clinic so I said yes, next thing I know I am getting a call from the clinic to set up a bariatric consult. I thanked her and told her I was not in a good place mentally for that type of surgery, takes great restraint and will and i had just wanted the nutritionist, well nutritionist isn't covered under my insurance but bariatric is. What kinda crap is that. No preventative medicine let's go straight to the money maker.

the injections are working halfway decent. my knee especially. I was wondering if I would do it again and I am hard pressed to say yes because they are so dang painful, kripe he sticks that long needle behind my knee cap to inject the medicine and even though it is only seconds it feels longer. I could count to three and he'd be done. My back is doing halfway decent but I haven't really been stressing it. It is too hot for yard work.

My doc office still has not sent in my form to the Tobacco Quit Line yet. I will call when they open and once again remind them. It has been a month. I think I am smoking more now than same time last year. Lord I hate how the staff there is so lazy. speaking of lazy I have rescheduled too many appts, too many times and they probably are going to tell me to go somewhere else. One is a sleep study consult that I have been putting off for the cardiologist who still swears I quit breathing during a nap in the hospital. For one I was hallucinating most of the time I was there and for another I was not in a deep sleep and there was noise in the room that I may have held my breath in my half conscious state to listen to. I kept hearing the strangest things while I was hallucinating and I remember all of it.

Jeannie how is your garden growing? I haven't heard much about it or maybe not looking in the right place.

Seems that many of the busy forums have created off topic mini threads within the forum so a lot of the other forums don't get used like they use to. when I come it looks like a total of five or six forums are being used and that's all, I wonder what people think when they pop in. I think they read and leave. Hope they take something they can use with them.

Rereading some old Clive Barker, don't know if anyone is familiar with him. If you don't know what the Hellraiser movies are then I am pretty sure you don't. Back into reading every night and managing not to fall asleep in my book any more. Meds for sleep are working still but my hours are slowly changing. I am getting up early in the a.m. quietly on the computer with my coffee and the patio door open so I can hear the birds and let Bella play. My flowers, a long row of daylilies, despite a removed over growth of weeds, are bright and beautiful yellow and my cauldron is full of pink and white lilies all just beautiful. I wish my iPad was working I would be out on the patio instead of at the dining room table.

Oh and the cat that had escaped from the rescue lady I took her to was found after many FB posts, CL posts and sign posting. I should say she and her kittens were returned to me once a reward was offered. Only $60 but the rescue lady put it up and I have a load of Hail Marys to recite for my not trusting and wanting to accuse the lady of keeping her. Thank you God that I never approached her directly and didn't gossip about her or my feelings. Two ladies saw the cat almost to the day that she came up missing, they took her in thinking someone dumped her because she was pregnant. She went right up to them. Knew she was too friendly for no one to have seen her. I think they saw the ad on CL but didn't think we really gave two hoots until the reward was posted then they figured not only did we actually care they could make some money. She had her kittens while she was there, almost two weeks, kittens are only about a week old. Eyes are still opening, oh and I am fostering them and I will help family pay to get her and kittens fixed and the lady that I got her back from said kittens have already been asked for so that works out. Bella and Boots hate each other so the cat arrangement is weird, kind of seems unfair to Bella but it won't be for long. She has her places she can go to get away.

I have decided to foster here and there but on my terms for who I choose. I also seem to have become a bit of an advocate for a single older lady who is in search of a dog. I get the impression she has some issues but I have not physically met her yet. We have been emailing and messaging. I am to go to her house for a 'home inspection' before I recommend her to a rescue.

OKay as usual this is long. does anyone read these lol. Do y'all look at it and think screw that I'm not reading all that or do you read it like chapters lol.

I hope you are all staying cool and well.