What's Happenin' (Part 2)

[clouds z]

i think ill go gluten free

google your dx and gluten

[houghchrst]

Well I'll be danged if my post didn't get eaten and auto save didn't save any of it. Must have really sucked lolol. Absolutely beautiful out today. May get out in the yard and get some more done.

Sewing room is now my foster room. I am in the process of putting up a screen door so I can easily check on my foster but they have some privacy. Soon going to have to pack up some of my pretties because I will have five kittens climbing around in there. Mama doesn't get along with Bella at all. Dash is okay as long as he is not near her kittens but she got him good the other day for being too nosy and he hides from her now.

Been getting lectures from CJ about not doing my motherly duty, Jared staying up all night and sleeping all day, his rooms being a pigsty, not making him do enough around the house and yard. That is just one more thing for me to worry about. Jared even told his dad he is depressed. We have an appt. to see new therapist next week and I see mine tomorrow.

Jeannie yes I have considered changing therapists but I think our issue is that we both know what I need to do. I have all these opportunities and ways to better my life and I just can't seem to get motivated. Not for even one stinking thing and it doesn't help having a depressed child/man that does the bare minimum around here because I don't enforce his completion of his chore list. Yes I have to make him a list. He feels over loaded if I sit here and tell him to do this, this and this.

I have restarted my supplement taking. An over fifty vitamin and mineral supplement, D3, Calcium and Glucosamine. Since my injections I am feeling much better. A tad sore if I walk around too much but all in all things have worked out great. I guess that's one thing lol.

well im off

[clouds z]

chrome google or firefox will just close on me all of a sudden,you might like seamonky but its bad in other ways

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[houghchrst]

Early morning again. At least it's not four lol. It's been warm here but not intolerable. Though last night was the first in a while that I could turn off the air. Don't sleep well in the heat at all. I regret teaching Jared how to work the thermostat cause now he keeps changing things lol.

CJ is back to giving his 'motivational' speeches to me, to Jared, when really all they are is demeaning, belittling and annoying as all get out. He doesn't realize that is how they come out. He tells me he does it to try to help get us motivated to do something about particular issues but it is having the opposite effect. It's is just pissin' me off. I can take it but when he harps on jared about his weight or his room, or my version of raising a young man then I get mad. Yes Jared is developing a weight issue. He is already getting to be big, tall and thick but us eating fast food is killing us. I need to get back to cooking again.

I do believe my psych meds have pooped out on me. I called to see my psych on an emergency basis. Their idea of ER basis is sometime in September. I told CJ my meds may have pooped out only to find out that he and Jared have been discussing my state of mind and he had already come to that conclusion as a possibility.

I am sick of being sick in the head. I am so truly tired of living in constant pain and dealing with the anxiety and depression. I developed my first UTI and I feel like crap and my bladder hurts. I guessed what it was and took the strip tests for UTI and they came out positive so am taking antibiotics I had left from a dentist visit.

Jared had an appt with our Primary this last week, we see the same guy, so I took my Tobacco Quitline form in for the doc to sign so I can get some nicotine gum. I just have to fax it in. His nurse still hasn't done it despite my many calls. She is a lazy woman, hardly shows for work according to the doc, and never returns calls. The only way I can get anything done is if I see the doc face to face.

Clouds I have grown to hate Google and have switched to Mozilla and stay logged out and make sure my location services are shut off. I use Bing as a search, it tried to log me in but I killed that.

I was sitting next to my phone the other day and Jared and I were talking about the Life Alert commercials and I'll be damned if I didn't look at my phone about two minutes later and there is an ad for Life Alert. Scary. I am not the first one this has happened to. I have a couple friends on FB that said this has happened to them too.

My kitties are getting big. Well not big but they are growing lol. They swarm me when I let them out. They are finally getting use to being petted and loved on. Maddie the brave seems to have a special affection for me. I have been letting momma out by herself so she can get a breath of air. She doesn't stay out long before she is ready to check on them.

I will try to post some updated pics.

Jared has a new therapist, she is very nice, young and pretty. He will only be with her until January when they will transition him to the adult services. Our primary doc couldn't even write a psych med script because it is a state run clinic and they are being squeezed by the government and phased out. The meds he takes have contraindications for people under 18 so he refused to write it. That's okay we see the psych next week. He can get started back up then.

[clouds z]

i tryed to click thanks it wouldnt work

later it worked

[houghchrst]

Thank you Clouds for all the info. And for keeping this forum alive. I know everyone is sick of my whining so now I blog here. For myself. If anyone cares to read they can. They are long and rambling and full of self pity. I don't know how often I will post here because it is pretty obvious this place is sinking. It makes me sad that we are missing so many. All the posts no matter what they concern are written in particular forums instead of spreading them throughout the forums where they belong and where others don't feel so hesitant to post there. I tried posting in MS I think to get into the book thread but they just make me feel uneducated. Nobody Chit-Chats anymore. Nobody posts funny stuff. EVerybody is leaving. I wonder where they go.

As for me I still have the kitties for about a week and a half then they get speutered and go to their homes. Everyone is so excited to get their new kittens. That woman that found her was a real savior. She even found the babies homes so I have been keeping her updated with pictures and videos. Guess I better make the vet appt.

Beautiful out today, may mow lawn. Have a flat tire but it will hold air enough to mow.

So you'll be happy to know I'm off for now. Short and sweet.

[jingle]

I always enjoy your posts and I'm always happy to see one.

[houghchrst]

Thank you jingle, same to you. I love coming here and seeing y'all post. It makes me feel less alone.

Suppose to go to a birthday party today for a local business, lots of bands, two day affair. Requires me to shower and I don't have the money. I have gas but no money to eat or purchase anything. No fun there.

Going to be beautiful today. May work on the lawn instead.

[jingle]

Pouring rain here - I hope we get a break this afternoon. A very special group of police officers is hosting a picnic dinner in the park for all the local LEOs - local, county, state and their families. I'm taking the dessert, as usual. Oh, I hope it doesn't rain. There are several pavilions in the park but I don't want to walk from my car loaded with stuff.
I like staying home with my cats.

I don't even know what a "blog" is. blush, blush -- I don't know what most things are.

[tic chick]

hey all !

i'm really having a tough summer. some days i wake up with stomach probs. some days i wake up feeling something bad is going to happen. some days i wake up incredibly sad. some days i wake up mostly ok.

i'm doing the things i want to do like going to zumba and working in the garden. some days i have to drag myself to do anything. i have put off going with my bf to several social occasions because there are just TOO many and if i go out 2 times a week, i feel anxiety, like i don't have enough time to myself. at least once a week, i want to be alone all day and i know my bf understands, but his way of dealing with grief was to keep busy, whereas mine is to keep still.

so, i read here and i hope to post more, but not promising anything. i know y'all understand.

thank you for caring and sharing,
jeannie

[jingle]

Hi Jeannie ~ It'a so good to hear from you. I understand how sometimes it's impossible to post so I appreciate this one

I sure like and appreciate time to myself. Usually I just want to be home (that's alone --- except for cats). Sometimes I just want to get in my car and
drive, drive, drive. I'm so fortunate that I can pick an choose for myself.