What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

[joy]

mrs jerome take good care of yourself please. those people should know better. after this surely they will behave better.

fwwl ao bad formyu dear woman. take cARE

[joy]

2 attempts i will make this short dear lady take care of yourself. Those people shpi;d know bwtter after this.

[Jo6]

hello everybody. Mrs. Jerome, I hope you are hanging in there and getting things settled with Mr. J. You sure have had a time and it is hard to believe how people just don't give a darn thing about how they treat the sick and elderly. I know it happens because I've been there and hope never to go thru any of that crap ever again.

Joy, its good to see you here and I know you posted here quiet some time ago. I'm just so lazy! I pray the foot and all your problems are getting better.

I see this forum isn't being used too much lately. I pray things are going as well as possible. I'll be back and hope to hear from the LO's I call "MY FAMILY".

I love you all, Jo

[Donna Thomson]

Caregivers' Living Room

Hi Everyone, I usually post in Child Neurology, but I have a 90 year old Mum with memory issues (not Alzheimer's) and I have a blog and a facebook page called The Caregivers' Living Room where I post a lot about caregiving issues generally, including issues about caring for Alzheimer's family members.

Some come on over anytime! Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...
All are welcome.

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

thanks for your link, donna. i have read a few of your blog posts and they are very thoughtful and helpful.

well, i missed seeing my mom the last thursday i was supposed to go. i won't see her until this thursday, a month later. i have had to deal with the contractor putting in my kitchen and stuff like that.

i talked to my therapist a few weeks ago and told her seeing my mom is like seeing a nice old lady...she is still my mother by blood, but her personality is gone, she doesn't know me, she is not the mom that i knew. it makes me sad to go see her and it makes me sad when i don't. i cannot win either way.

the new doctor's group that i switched her to seems to be doing a better job than the other one was. i have had just one phone call that they lowered her meds and that's been all. i can handle all this other stuff going on in my life, but i can't do a darn thing about my mom. i can't do a darn thing about my mom. i just feel so incredibly sad for her. she doesn't respond to pictures or music or television. she lives in the moment in her own little world.

i feel so helpless and hopeless and tired when i think about her. my therapist is so great, i wish i could see her more often than every 3 weeks...although sometimes i will make it 2 weeks when i feel especially overwhelmed.

i hope you are all doing well. please post here when you have the time and tell us what's going on in your life. i miss you all, but lately i seem to have no time to post, just read. i know i'll be posting more soon.

take care of yourselves...

thank you for sharing and caring and walking with me,
jeannie

[mrsQ]

jeannie I'm glad you have a good therapist to help you deal with this, I wish I could find one.
Things are the same here. Skip eats but seems to still be losing weight. You know with my back issues I can't lift much and I picked her up the other day when I was just trying to adjust her in the bed so I don't think she is 70lbs now, she doesn't respond to anything most days. The concept of long goodbye is taking on more meaning than I ever though possible. I'm sorry I don't post more often the depression is just really had me down all summer. I hope you are all doing well.

[mrsjerome]

Still no good over here. They now have ordered some kind of boot for his foot. When he is up the foot is blue in color. The last I visited I had raised it for him , supporting it on my knee. After massaging it for a while, the color returned to normal. I talked to the nurse practioner in charge, she told me that she wanted to keep him in bed with his foot elevated and just to take him out for his meals. Funny it seemed to me that he was already in bed close to that amount of time anyway.

As far as his mental alertness goes, it seems to me that he is zoning out more and more.

Oh and we finally have a date when those teeth will be removed. It has to be done in a hospital setting as an out-patient. He will have to be off the Coumadin for a few days. They will have to put him out and the x-rays can be done before the procedure. There had been two front teeth bothering him. I think more will be extracted (how many will depend on x-rays) .

He has to go and get this done at a hospital at least 40 miles away from the NH. As he has to go where the Dr. has hospital privileges even though there are hospitals much closer.

Actually this is my mistake for switching to this nursing home insurance plan. I switched cause the supplement that he had was getting just so expensive. I had also thought would be a good idea to have this nurse practioner look in on him more often as Dr. only comes in once a month and if something occurs seems is easier to get a hold of the practioner. It seemed to me at the time to be a good option. Not so sure anymore, will never be able to get the supplement back but may just put him on the original medicare again and let the Medicaid pick up the rest. I have really been disappointed with this NH advantage plan and the nurse practioner.

Hope all the rest of you are doing the best with the cards that have been dealt you. What else is there to do?

Take Care
mrs j

[mrsQ]

mrs j why can't they just place him in a chair that keeps his leg elevated to help with the circulation?

[mrsjerome]

mrs j why can't they just place him in a chair that keeps his leg elevated to help with the circulation?

I have asked for a different wheel chair a number of times but previously been told that he was evaluated by PT and the one he has is sufficient for him. Now with this circulation problems I again asked the nurse practioner and she told me that she didn’t think he needs a different one. The chair that is assigned to him has no foot rests and he is still able to walk it by himself but very slowly. I had problems pushing him in it cause he did not lift his feet high enough but just at times would drag his feet. She wanted to get some stool for him to prop his foot on but so far have not seen that happening. I think if they could attach some kind of adjustable foot rests on that chair or get him one that was equipped that way it would help. But for now they insist on doing it their way.

This is another reason, I think will drop that NH insurance. This nurse practioner is really paid by the insurance Co. She goes to certain NH’s that allow this insurance plan for their facility. I have a strong hunch that there is some cost involved with a different wheel chair instead of this one

He is not able to sit in a regular chair. They have to use one of those lifts to get him in and out of bed. So I am again supposing much easier on the staff to leave him in bed with his foot elevated.

Next week he will be transported to the hospital to get those teeth finally taken care of.

[joy]

that is awful mrs jerome. they shoudl get him another chair with foot rests. in my opinion it would be horrible trying to push anyone around if there wasn't a place to rest their feet! i hope everything goes okay with the teeth extractions.

[Donna Thomson]

Some wisdom about our backs!

Saving caregivers' backs, a new blog post about my Auntie Nellie (physiotherapist) and how she helped me :)
Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

[Jo6]

mrs. j, my heart brakes for the both of you. This has to be very hard on you as well as him. The NH staff seem to be all alike, you know more about what he needs, they will give you an answer that's suppose to make You feel better!

The trouble is, if it isn't right for mr.j you know right away they haven't done a dang thing to help the patient!!

I would continue to let them know that you know what they are up to. Ken stayed so frustrated especially toward the end. Hospice came back and the hospice nurse and the floor nurse were forever at odds, causing Ken to get mixed signals. I do wish I could help.

Karen, honey you have no business picking your MIL up, no matter how little she weighs. That is my opinion of course, but I know you have major back problems and just the stress alone will set every thing else to flare. I hope you can find some good help really soon.

My love and prayers to all, Julia s

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

i went to visit my mom last thursday. basically she is the same. i took some pics of my daughter and her and my daughter took a pic of me and mom. i am going to send the pics to mom's cousin in canada once i copy them.

then i had a therapy session after that. of course, i talk about my mom. i find if i talk fast without thinking too much about it, i get some kind of revelation or feeling that i didn't know i had. well, that happened last thursday and it wasn't the nicest thought that i got, but i know it's the truth. there is a saying, "the truth will set you free, but first it will p*ss you off"! so true .

mrsj, i think you just have to tell the the nurse practitioner you want mrj in a chair with footrests. i don't know if your np answers to anyone higher, but if she does, you have to complain about his care. i agree that if mrj were on medicare plus medicaid, at least the nh would have to answer to you and you could go to the director of nursing if you were not happy with his care.

karen, please take care of your back issues and try not to lift your mil. i know it seems like she is light, but even 75 pounds is heavy. one wrong move and.......you don't want to need care yourself!

well, that is it for today. i guess no excitement is better than probs.

thank you all for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
jeannie

[mrsQ]

Thanks for the concern about my back ladies. I really just do not know how she is still holding on. She has been crying all night & begs when ever we move her. You can't understand what she is saying but you tell she is distressed.
I'm in the process of making some changes that I hope will improve my life a great deal & allow me to take better care of myself. I have lost over 20lbs in the last few months and that is always good for the back issues.
I hope you all have a good day. (((hugs ))) karen

[joy]

the part of us not understanding what they try to say in my opinion is absolutely the thing that kills my heart the fastest. and i know it is high on other people with loved ones that are talking and not sounding like anything you have ever heard also. hugs for the room. take care ladies and gents.