What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

[Buttons2]

I hope Ken will be better real soon! Jo, you have both been through the wringer so to speak-time you both get some relief from the bad things in life!very glad to know Ken is treating you better now.

as for me? well each day brings something I have to consider is just life eh? we all do what we must do to survive afterall. I sure can't predict the future.

hope everyone will have a good holiday season this year!

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

i will post soon on stuff that has been going on with my mom, but right now i am dealing with other carp and trying to get ready for christmas.

when it rain's, it pour's. i don't want to sound mysterius, i will talk, but i'm just not ready yet.

thanks for being here for me. i just don't know what i would do without y'all.

jeannie

[Buttons2]

Jeannie, I have every reason to think you will handle whatever is going on with your mom. you will do fine I think. of course I'm curious but will respect your need for privacy right now. we all love you & wish the best for you ((((Jeannie)))) Pati

PS life is a journey-we just go for the ride eh?

[Jo6]

Yes Pati, you are right. We do the best we can and be thankful for the good things we see now and again.

Jeannie dear one, Again I agree with Pati. Please know we are here and are willing to do what we can do for you.

Take care of yourself, don't forget that. I love you dearly and just a call away. ((((Jeannie))))

Everybody take care of yourself. I'm thankful for each and every one of you dear friends here in Alzheimers Forum.

All my love, Julia s

[tic chick]

hey everyone ,

i have seen my mom twice since i last posted about her. she was in bed one day, i think i caught her after she got her pill again. my daughter was with me and my mom looked at her and smiled, like she knew who she was. she said, "she's_____." she has the word on the tip of her tongue, yet it won't come out. sometimes i wish she could finish what she's going to say, but other times i realize it might not make any sense, either.

when i saw my mom 2 weeks ago, she was in the dining room eating. she had gotten her hair cut and the hairdresser that comes there every thursday did such a great job on it. my mom has beautiful white gray hair and it's still thick. it has natural waves in it when it's cut short and while she was eating i reached up and just finger-combed parts of her hair to look nicer and it was so easy and she looked like she just had her hair done. i talked to my mom after she finished eating and it was very frustrating. my mom is making up words now. words that do not exist except in her head. i listen to her and try and tell from her tone what i should say or do. i say, yes, i understand a lot, because i don't want her to get frustrated thinkig that she isn't being understood. that's all i can do. she had on some new clothes i had bought her. i wrote her name on the pants right on the butt area and i put her initial's on the front of her tops, like a monogram. i did it with a black marker and did the initial's a little fancy. i figure if the clothe's are visibly marked, no one will take them or give them to some other patient.

this nurse called one day and said the doctor was there that day and they wanted to put my mom on lasix for a week (to get the swelling in her body down) and another drug to calm her down a little at night. i said okay to the lasix, but i didn't understand what other drug the nurse was saying, so i asked her the name again. i still didn't get the name. i asked her to spell it. she spelled "aricept". i said, "no way. my mom is not to get any antipsychotic drugs and that should be in the front of her chart." so, they didn't give it to her. 2 day's later, they called and asked if they could give her ambien at night. i said ambien was fine. why do they STILL go to those antipsychotic's first? they have to hire more staff at night if they can't watch all the resident's. there is SO MUCH info out there for psychiatrist's to read about those drug's and how they are unproven and hasten death in alzheimer's patient's. are they just not getting it?

wednesday, the 28th of november, i woke up at 3am with such terrible chills, i could not hold anything cause my hands were shaking so hard and my teeth were chattering against each other. my son got up at 6am to go to work and i asked him to get me my nausea med, my cell phone, my purse and a glass of water. he did and went to work. the chills stopped at 7am and i broke a fever of 102. i had a headache and my eyes hurt. i knew it was the flu, even though i had gotten a flu shot in early october. i called my daughter to come over and take care of the dog's for me, cause i knew i wasn't getting out of bed that day. i slept for 24 hour's straight, that morning to thursday morning. thursday i felt much better and i was pretty much normal by friday. this wasn't anything gastrointestinal, cause everything was okay that way.

so, i got my grapevine christmas tree, which was a two-week hassle also, but i won't get into that, cause it was just a matter of this woman not making my tree when she said she would, but she finally did and delivered it to me. i am doing some cleaning before the holiday's now and next week i make cookies!

thank you all for sharing and caring and walking with me,
jeannie

[Jo6]

you get to feeling better, sweetie. Flu is not fun to play around with. Of course you know that. I remember a picture you once posted of your Mom and you. It was a great picture and your Mom was just as pretty as you.

Take care and feel better, Julia ((((Jeannie))))

[Buttons2]

Jeannie,didn't realize Aricept is an anti-phy drug. from what I know I think NH's just use whatever makes it easier for their staff?

housemate was calling my cell my watch this morning. he does stuff like this all the time now. long as I can still figure out what he means I can deal with it. I cannot forsee the future afterall. nobody can.

flu has hit this area also. you get better Jeannie ((((hugs))) Pati

[joy]

mother was on arcept and it seemed like just another pill, no better or worse. of course people are different and i hate for anyone to be on too many pills. too muhc to juggle and all. i believe if someone is even some far along with memory troubles, arceptis justlike i already said, another pill for them to swallow.

[tic chick]

hey all !

yes, i am over that flu. i just slept from wednesday morning to thursday morning. thursday, i sat around and watched movies and ate. friday, i was fine and i started doing some stuff around the house.

yes, the staff hasn't mentioned my mom is being hard to handle or anything. they expect everyone to be asleep at night and most people with alzheimer's sleep whenever they want, cause they are up whenever they want, also. the one time they gave my mom an antipsychotic, my broither saw her that late afternoon and said she was acting strangely. see aricept works on brain chemical's and the chemical's are all screwed up in alzheimer's. i am not against antipsychotic's, i was on aricept myself and it helped me with my tic's, so it has a use for stuff like that and for other mental illnesses. alzheimer's patient's brains have those plaques and tangles in them...how can any med work in a brain that is not working the right way? there has been research done showing alzheimer's patient's on antipsychotic's die sooner than those not on them and their efficacy isn't proved in alzheimer's.

i am not against ambien or benzodiazepines (valium, librium, etc.) because those drugs work on the central nervous system and make everyone tired or more subdued. my mom's doctor's took her off some of her heart med's, her statins (lipitor, i think) and the lasix. then the psych doc's come in, the staff comes up with some stupid complaint and the psych doc's want to put them on anti-psychotic's right away. first drug of choice. as i said, if they are having trouble with patient's in the evening, they have to hire more people for those shifts, not give antipsychotic's out life m&m's.

joy, i'm glad your mom had no probs with aricept, but like you said, if it didn't make a difference, it's just another pill to swallow. different meds for different heads.

so, thing's are coming along fine here. i have to decorate the tree. i just got back from my hustle class and i am tired, my thigh's are hurting from this new dance we learned. i'm so happy to go though, cause i need to move and there's nothing to do in the garden now .

thank you all for sharing and caring and walking with me,
jeannie

[joy]

jeannie i am glAD YOU ARE FEELING BETTER. MY MOTHER WAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY ALTOGETHER FOR ONE THING. SHE HAD HAD SOME MINI STROKES AND ENDED UP WITH AREIEPT DUH HIW STUPID WAS THAT. I THINK OUR DOCTOR, JUST A REGULAR DOCTOR WAS GRASPING FOR STRAWS. IT WAS SO LONG AGO FOR ONE THING THAT ALL THIS HAPPENED AND DOCTORS LEARN MORE AS TIME PASSES. GOOD THAT THEY DO. AND YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING IS RIGHT ON SPOT. IT IS TRULY AND THAT IS HARD FOR US REELATIVES TO TAKE AT TIMES, JUST THE KNOWING THAT THERE IS NOT ANYTHI9NG THAT CAN BE DONE. IT LEFT ME FEELING SO DEFENCLESS IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE.

sorry about the caps - i have ruined my only pair of glasses. lucky that i found an old pair of contace, lol, it is not much better but at least i have not ran into the walls with them on. i will be so glad when i get to see eye doctor again in january. everyone try and dodge that flu bug.

[Buttons2]

Jeannie,glad you are feeling better now! good for you to still be dancing. has it occurred to anyone that your brother visiting could have agitated your mom?

[tic chick]

Thank You all and Merry Christmas!

christmasjoy.jpg

merry christms to all my friend's here!

i hope christmas you with all those that are near and dear to you!

i'm seldom at a loss for word's , but you all are so dear to me and i am thankful to have you here as i walk a hard journey that will not end happily. your understanding and kind word's have brightened my day's this past year.

it is hard to accept we can do nothing. for me that lead's to guilt, for sometime's i think if i just try hard enough, i can make something good happen, but that isn't the case in some situation's. letting go of the problem let's me focus on thing's i can do to make life better for my loved one's who are ill and for me and my family. i can take care of my mom, don't let the nh give her the wrong med's, make sure she is comfortable and as good as she can be. i can be there for my children who are having a hard time letting go of some thing's also. most of all, i can be there for me, taking care of myself, experiencing the joy in my life and living each day in peace. letting go doesn't mean we don't care...it just mean's we have no control over the outcome of thing's. sometime's we really care too much.

pati, i think my mom brighten's up when she see's my brother, because he has a strong resemblance to her brother that died 5 year's ago. she even call's him by her brother's name at time's. i don't think any of us really upset her, sometime she get's upset at petty thing's that happen in the nh.

thank you for sharing and caring and walking with me this past year ,
jeannie

[mrsjerome]

First Happy New Year to all

This Christmas the entire family spent the afternoon at the NH. We are not all together at one time anymore. So this was kind of special. This might be the last time that mr j sees everyone get together like this. One never knows as his health and mental faculties have declined so much this past year. The NH staff looked so surprised when we all walked in and it just so happened we all arrived at the same time. I had called to let them know the family was coming but they did not realize the large size of the group. Luckily the cafeteria was almost empty, so we had a large room to visit with each other.

We really did not set this visit in stone but just told everyone that we were going and if they wanted to come that was great and if not that was ok too. Dessert was brought and pictures were taken. This Christmas was a Christmas for the memories.

I haven’t seen mrj since Christmas. Apparently a couple days later a respiratory illness developed in the residents in his ward. So playing it safe they decided to close down the wing. If I would want to see him would have to put on one of those gowns and mask. Some of these residents have tested positive for the flu. Mrj had a hoarse throat and his results were inconclusive. I called there yesterday and was told the wing was still closed and they would be closing off another wing.

So I am playing it safe and staying away until the clear sign comes out. I don’t want to take a chance and catch any flu bug. You know they push these flu shots so much and still the flu runs rampant in the NH. Just kind of makes a person wonder. I know there are different strains and such but this years was suppose to be the strain for this year.

I don’t think will ever be the protection they claim. There are just too many different strains and these bugs just keep mutating.
Hope you all have had a happy holiday season and the best wishes for 2013

All Take Care
mrs j

[tic chick]

happy new year to you all ,

well, that was a nice christmas for mrj! i'm happy so many of your family came.

your line,

This Christmas was a Christmas for the memories.

was so touching for many reason's. i know you are thinking about the future and mrj's decline. for me, it was a chirstmas of looking back... the "ghost's of christmas past".

oh, i will finish this later...i've gotten upset...

geez, this is why i HATE winter. the blue's can creep up on you so fast! i was just remembering all the good time's over the year's and started comparing them to how it is now...and that is not a win/win situation. of course children grow up, everyone get's older, but sometime's i think i'm never going to be as happy now as i was then...and maybe that's true, even though i feel very happy now. i guess i have to sometime's rethink my definition of happiness as thing's change. i will never have little children again, but i might have grandchildren , but that is in the future and i don't live in the future, i live in the today and today i have no grandchildren so i have to get that out of my mind and find the thing's that are happy today.

basically, i have peace. i have my house, my freedom to do what i want without depending on another person to want/not want to do thing's with me. i do what i do that make's me happy by myself. i'm taking a break from dating and it's been nice not having the hassle of going out and getting your hope's up and finding out the man want's different thing's than you do...or they're in a different point in their life.

i haven't seen my mom in about a month, i hope i can go to see her on tuesday.

so, i'm reading a good book and i'm okay. january is the hardest month to get through.

thank you for caring and sharing and walking with me,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

Mrs.J sure was nice so many of the family got together @ the NH. don't blame you one bit for staying clear until flu is gone. this seems to be a bad year for it eh?

Jeannie,think about you all the time-you don't let the memories upset you!

for all the caregiver's out there-happy new year to all!!

not sure who is worse off in this household right now. housemate seems to be much better,while I'm going downhill rather quickly.

talked to my mom on Christmas Day. she sounds like she's doing OK. haven't spoken to my father in awhile.

find some joy in life everyday folks! never know what tomorrow might bring.