What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

[Jo6]

you are so right, Patti. btw,dear one , how are you fairing from the fall? I have had you on mind a lot lately.

I dreamed about you the other night. I'm thinking it was the night you fell. I want you to be happy and not fall any more. (((((( Patti))))))

I will Wright a little later,Dr today,again on Wed..already been twice since Christmas, Ken goes Wed. too.

I love every one of you ladies. Where is Joy? I Wii be back soon.

my love, Julia

[Jo6]

Just a note to see how everybody is making it.. I pray all are well and your LO' s are as well as possible. No New post for awhile

Just checking in. love you all, hugs

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

i saw my mom yesterday, the first time in 2 months. i had this thought one day around christmas that the next time i saw my mom she would remember who i was and say, "hello, jean!" to me. of course this was wishful thinking and i talked to my therapist about it. she said i was just having hope, which is sometimes something we all have to have in order to get through what we have to get through.

so, when i saw my mom yesterday, she was sleeping. her lunch was in front of her...she wasn't missing much. i kind of gently moved her arm to wake her up. she mumbled something. i looked at the side of her nose where she is picking at the basal cell carcinoma and it was scabbing over again. then the aide came in and started talking to my mom to get her up. you don't see an aide there until you come to see your loved one and then all of a sudden they appear out of nowhere. i know they want to appear attentive, but come on. i can see my mom can't be roused. just leave me alone with my mom. now that i am here i can try and get her up just as well as the aides can.

so, i am talking to my mom, asking her if she wants to eat. she opens both her eyes a crack and says, "who are you?"

so, there goes that hope about mom recognizing me.

i had a care conference with the members of the staff. i noticed my mom is on a stronger dose of her thyroid meds, so that was probably the reason she had gained so much weight last year, because her thyroid was too slow. i asked the care staff if the psychiatric doctors had to see her every other week, cause they always bothered me with trying to get her on some antipsychotic med or something that won't help her. they wanted to put her on aricept a month ago. aricept is used in the beginning to mid stages of dementia. it helps the patient remember better for about 3-6 months. my mom has had alzheimer's for 6 years already and has advanced dementia. aricept is not going to help her and it might even give her side effects she doesn't need. so the staff said they could have the psychiatric docs visit only once every 3 months, which is the minimum they can visit if a person is taking anykind of psychiatric meds. my mom is on ativan and ambien for sleep, so they have to see her, but now it won't be so often .

so, i think i'm prolly only going to go to about 2, maybe 3 more therapy sessions. i have everyone here to support me and you are all so caring . nothing new is happening. i am just going to continue to grieve and live my life the best way i can. i feel pretty strong emotionally, most days. sure, everyone has bad days. i will, too. nothing i can't handle now.

so, i will be posting more here. it's turning into a long journey, maybe it will continue that way, maybe it won't. i can only walk forward one step at a time. so that's what i'm going to do.

thank you all for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

thanks for the update Jeannie. glad you are not going to visit so often. sorry she doesn't know who you are.my mom seems perfectly normal last time we talked. (their annie. was end of Jan.) course everything she said to me could be nothing but a lie.

[Jo6]

I'm real sorry,JEANNIE AND PATI. Sorry about the caps.

I know it hurts but I don't have a clue how to make it. Better.

Jeannie, you do sound like you are getting thru things much better these days.Of course I can't see you and I know you can hold your cards close to your chest. I just want you to have some Pease. You take care of Jeannie.

PATI, I know things are hard for you. You're plate is full and running over. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you too.

To all that are caring for LOs you are all in my thoughts and prayers are also with me.
I know most of you are not well either. Please take k e of your selves.

I love all of you s

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

i went to see my mom yesterday. i made arrangements to have her hair cut and i talked to the social worker about getting those carcinomas off her face. i was sitting there talking to my mom and she just took her finger and scratched off the scab off of the one by her nose and it started bleeding. i put a cold washcloth against it to stop the bleeding, but my mom said it hurt. so i thought it was time to get this taken care of. i told the social worker my mom is going to have to be sedated to have these carcinomas removed, because she didn't even want the dermatologist to take a little scraping off of one for a biopsy. i told the social worker to find someone close to my side of town so maybe me or my sister could meet her at the doctor's office. so she is working on that now.

my mom's glasses are missing. i am getting tired of this crap. first the dentures, now the glasses. an aide came into the room and i told her about them, she said she didn't know my mom even wore glasses. well, the aide was new. they got a few new aides there. one came in and she said my mom could walk and then she was trying to get her to walk to a bowl full of jello. i was so angry. i don't care if my mom can't walk for me or even if she can walk, i don't need her to be treated like a trained seal to do tricks for me. i had just gotten a call from the nursing home the night before saying my mom had fallen and was sitting on the floor. her hand was bruised. i'm sure my mom sometimes forgets she can't walk and she does hold on to things as she walks to the bathroom. that's prolly when she falls. my mom's legs can't support her weight. they are weak and she has severe arthritis in her knees. she was having probs walking 5 years ago and the aides are trying to tell me she can walk really good. bs.

so, i was sitting on a chair close to my mom's bed and i laid my head next to her and gave her a kiss and i started crying. i hate this disease. i wish i could have loved my mom more. i know part of that is her fault, part mine. i can't go back and change anything. it is what it is. i can only love her the best i can today.

so, that's what's going on. it seems to me that my mom is sleeping more, even before she gets her pills. she is talking less, forgetting more words...simpler words. the doctor's are testing her for another urinary tract infection. i know they don't change her more than once or twice per shift. this sucks and i can't do a damn thing about it.

thank you for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
jeannie

[joy]

I watched a progam called Hopeful Aging by Dr. Zeigel on PBS. It dealt with dementia, alzheimer's and other forms of the minds thinking process.It had facts and myths. .

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

GREAT VISIT TODAY!

i haven't written those words in so very long...

my mom seemed to be thinking clearer today, maybe remembering more. she was still having trouble saying what she meant, but the words she got out made sense and i could follow her.

my daughter and i went to visit today. we got there around 1130am. i brought my mom some grapes and i took them off the stem for her. she was looking at my daughter and asking who she was. i said, "that's my daughter, like i'm your daughter." she looked at me and said, "my baby!" i knelt down on the floor and she was touching my face and then SHE TWEAKED MY NOSE and smiled! she said, "i love you." i was trying so hard not to cry because i didn't want to upset her good mood and her memories. she played with my hair and said, "your hair, red, not dark." so she remembered i had darker hair, which i did, up until about age 30. she looked at my daughter and said "she looks like you."

she also said it was horrible there and she didn't like the people.

but it was the best possible visit. i know she knew who i was even though she didn't say my name. i am savoring today, for i don't know if i will get another blessed day like this again.

i'm so happy i could say something good about a visit with my mom...i am just amazed...

thank you for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
jeannie

[joy]

jeannie I am so glad for you. you deserve some good days and I say hold onto it like I know you are doing. It is abouty time you try so hard and know how terrible it all is. about time it made me happy just reading a good visit.

[Jo6]

Jeannie, my heart is HAPPY!! I think you are right about your mom knowing who you are.the words just won't

[Buttons2]

Jeannie. so glad you had a good visit! just now getting around to catching up here on BT. you so deserve to have a good visit!

[Jo6]

[B], I've been thinking about you special friends.











you will have good

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

i saw my mom last week thursday. she was eating lunch and talking to me and my daughter. asking questions like "how am i getting along" and "how is dad". i do not know who she meant by dad. the aide comes into the room and says she's going to dress my mom up now because my mom didn't want to get dressed that morning. same line i've heard the last 2 months. i told her not to bother because my mom gets her pill at 2pm and then she zonks out. it was almost 2pm. i talked a bit with the husband of my mom's former roomate. he told me he's seen my mom in the evening and once in a while he sees her agitated, kicking at doors and yelling. so i'm thinking i am not going to let them put her on a daily med to calm her down when she only acts up maybe once or twice a week.

i got sort of nostalgic last week and i read all the archived posts of this thread. yes, all 89 or so pages of them. it's good i can speed read .

we have come a long way in our journey together and we are STILL together, offering each other support. i think that's such a beautiful thing, it makes me tearful to think about it. you are all such giving people and you come here with your own probs and are able to offer humor, advice, hope and encouragement to everyone. we all wouldn't have met if it weren't for bt and i don't think our lives would be as rich as they are.

i have a sad feeling that kat is not with us anymore. it's been so long since she's been here. of course, i might be wrong. how many times have we thought our loved ones wouldn't make it much longer only to have them keep on going, yet having their minds and bodies disintegrate even more? i certainly didn't think my mom would still be here. she entered the nursing home on 12/31/2008. she will finish 5 years in the nh at the end of this year. they say that's about the average a person lives in a nursing home after they enter one.

i have had a shift in thinking from hating that my mom got this disease to hating that this disease got my mom. it's a different way of thinking and places the blame on the disease, where it should be. it seems i have been grieving something or other my whole adult life. there are so many losses in life. i'm not depressed, it just makes me appreciate what i have more and makes the times when i am happy or at peace seem even more precious and wonderful.

all of life is a journey...
our journey is intertwined with the journey of so many others...

thank you for sharing and caring and walking with me ,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

Jeannie, I've certainly noticed the change in your mindset. you are a strong woman jeannie. you've brought us into this journey with your mom. thank you for all you share. one day I went to the archives & read my story about my housemate's daughter Lori. it's still not "real" that she is gone. those were bad times around here. this isn't the right thread but I want to thank everyone that was supportive during that time.

I wish Jo & Ken would find pleasure now that the stress of Mary is over. it's like Alz. sucks the life out of a family & leaves them raw & wounded. you are taking steps to have your own life & making peace with what you can or cannot do. when I look back to the changes in many of our lives it's weird. life is weird. and we never know where it will take us.

[Jo6]

Jeannie, I had wondered if others went to the archive's and read. Not too long ago I went there.. One thing I noticed was I sounded much happier back when Mary was giving everybody hell. Yes Pati, life is very strange at times.
I hunted up Tootsie and I was glad I did. She was such a joy even if she was kinda getting on to us for being slack or feeling sorry for oneself. {talking about me here }

Jeannie, I'm with Patti, thank you for sharing your journey with us. It has helped me understand so much. Pati, so have you. We are all different, but I guess if we can thank Alzheimer's for anything it's how we have all come together, shared, cared, cried, laughed and too much to name.

I still come, at one time I wondered why I felt so compelled to come back. I decided that we are a big family, all at different points in our journey, but we don't throw our family away, we love them more and try to help them on their walk.

I need you all and I want to give back at least as much as I can. I would not have made it if you all had not been here to push and pull me along. I owe all of you much more than I can possibly give back, but I'm trying.

I love all of you, I'm afraid to start naming because I would surely miss someone. Of course Daily Joy is in there, to me in a special way.

Anytime any of you need .me just let me know. I can be quiet and listen. lol

Pati, thank you for thinking of Ken and me. We have both been trying to be kinder and loving to each other. We are not perfect by any means, but at least we both see the need to work on our relationship. thank you for your loving kindness.

My love and many s to all of you