What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

[mrsjerome]

Hi All
Just a quick update on mr j. Supposedly , they will try tweaking his meds again. I was told that they have another unit in the facility that they could move him to if needed. They really want to refrain from doing that as he gets very confused and would have a difficult time adjusting to it. The unit he is on now serves his needs and serves him much better than the other one would.

It is just that his behavior towards the other residents can be alarming. Of course that is where that fine line comes in. He cannot be seen as a danger to the other residents. I am praying that he gets his mind on other things but I just don’t know what will happen. In his mind he thinks that nothing is wrong with him but down deep I think he knows something is not right. So will have to take a wait and see on how the situation develops.

I hope all had a nice holiday season. Blessings to all of you in this New Year!

Take Care

mrs j.

[tic chick]

hey all !

just a quick update about my mom, as i have a floor to finish crow-barring up today :)

well, mom was back in the dining room on thursday. smiling, in a good mood. she smiled at me and said, "hi", then immediately asked, "where's robert"? (my separated from husband)

SIGH!!!

i am not stressing about this too much...i am getting some pleasure back in my life .

mrsj...i'm not trying to be pushy or anything, but maybe think of hospice. talk to them. maybe getting other people involved in his care and visiting him and talking to him about his life will make the staff think twice before they do anything rash? some people think hospice is only for when you're almost dying, but they can be such a great help at this point, too .

thank you all for being here and sharing and caring ,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

Jeannie,I've always found it odd your mom remembers Robert but not you. well then it just goes to show the mind is a very odd thing eh? who knows,she might have recognized the marriage problems before you did? I hope she "sees" some joy in you these days?

Mrs J,thanks for checking in. we tend to get concerned ya know! hospice might be a good idea. give it some thought at least. take all the help you can get in other words! and they are experts,they might just have some very good advice to share.

I didn't call my mom to wish her a happy new year. when spoke with her @ Christmas I got rather upset for nonsense she was saying about my brother. no way of knowing if she's telling a lie or not? just sick of my family altogether these days. he will destroy them & there's nothing I can do.

here's hoping 2012 will bring about some positive changes!

(((hugs to all))) Pati

PS my housemate would do well to keep his mouth shut,he's not making the situation better. said I wouldn't be living here if he didn't trust me! my first thought was where did THAT come from? doubtful he realized I heard the comment (he talks out loud all the time like he's NOT saying it for real). one day I asked about the family dropping by before/after the memorial,his comment was "doubt they'll be stopping by for tea & crumpets!" well that was so off the wall I didn't know what to say back. doubt he has a clue what a crumpet is!!

[Jo6]

Jeannie, I'm glad you had a somewhat good visit with Mom. It's the never knowing what to expect that is so maddening. I'm glad to hear you are getting some pleasure back into your life.

You take care and watch those knee's while you are ripping up the floor. I doubt anybody will get near you with that crowbar!

Mrs. J., at least the staff seems to be willing to work with hubby, trying to get his meds right. It took forever to get MIL's med. to a level that suited her. Good luck and take care of yourself.

Pati, you have to be so frustrated with all heck going on most of the time. I wonder why HM has started talking to himself? Mary did that, but can't remember which stage she was in. At least I hope he isn't into repeating a story over and over and over. Talking about dead people I never heard of. I found a picture of a we babe in a casket in her things. I asked Ken who it was and he had no idea. I wanted to get rid of it but he said no. It's beginning to start the war. I have no idea how on earth he is planning to devide everything between them all. Well, that is his problem. Just as long as nobody comes in my house and starts rambling.

Take care all, Jo

[Buttons2]

jeannie,what happens after the floor is all taken up? and I do hope you are using a foam knee pad.

Jo,HM has always talked to himself,these days it's just worse cause I really think he's not aware I'm actually here most of the time.

and Jo,can I ask what the game plan is for the removal of Mary's things? I'm guessing "out of sight/out of mind". why should they bother to come & help? call a local charity & see who will come pick it up! I predict someone will eventually burn all the pic's. Ken needs to go through them & save what he wants of course.

pretty soon there will not be an inch of space in this house for all the boxes of picture's & paperwork!

[Jo6]

ahahhhhhhh, how well do I know about all the pictures and boxes and STUFF!! The 1st few months Ken kept himself busy with putting all of the pictures He found on cd's or whatever, cataloged and named, age & a bunch of crap. There are still boxes that he does not know about and I'm not going to tell him. Little by little I'm getting rid of them!! Nobody will ever want them, his siblings don't even want to be bothered with all the pictures she had hanging on all her walls.

I don't mind you asking what the "game plan" was for dividing up all the stuff we are still housing. Pati, I wish I could tell you, but I don't know. I asked him the other day after her nixed MY idea and he answered with" I don't know but I'll take care of it"!~! End of conversation. That was one reason I kept telling you in many ways I was in a simular position! No legal way for me to do anything, but heck, after all these years he doesn't know what is who's! So, what is the saying, about you having things so long it is yours? Well, I figure it is mine to do what I want with it. I'll have grandson take it to the Flea market, a little at a time. He has been out of work for month and this has kept him support his family and pay child support for 2 other kids. Grandma would be happy he is doing this, so who else is there to mind?

I have been giving things to grandson things to take to Flea market, I got bold right before Christmas, gave him 3 truck loads one Sunday. Although a few things were mine, the rest, who knows whose they were??teehee If you have any ideas please share. I spent most of yesterday looking up prices on al lot of small stuff, very old stuff! I was in mega pain so it kind of kept my mind off the crap!

I owe you a letter!

Mrs J. I hope hubby is responding to the med. changes. I want you to have some peace and quiet for a chance. Going thru what you are going thru is enough to cause you to have a total breakdown. I felt on the verge many times!!

Jeannie, get you some heavy duty workgloves, some cotton gloves to wear under them. that will help save your hands. they make knee pads. If you are going to spend anytime o your knees, wear those. Ken finally got him some when he was working on our house and also his mom's house. He has finally give in to the fact that he is not 30 years old anymore.

Sweetie, if you don't have a bike helmet, please get one! If floor/carpet will tear up your pretty face just think what gravel would do to it!!

Jan, how are things going with you and Hank? I hope you all had a good Christmas and New Years. ((((Jan & Hank))))

My love to you all, Jo

ps: Ging, I've been missing you. how are things going? Hope hubby is better. Let us hear from you soon! love ya, Jo

[Buttons2]

some thoughts (for Jo)

[BOK Jo,should have figured Ken would put the pic's on the computer. well since you asked: let grandson learn as he goes with the flea market. I've done a few myself so here's my suggestions: keep prices low so it sells & he gets a reputation (he wants people to remember his area & come there first to spend their $$). get to know the best seller's there. I've no idea if he's experienced or not? is this a regular flea market? do NOT trust other seller's to give accurate advice (it's a dog eat dog business afterall). be friendly to everyone,ya never know when that "bum" looking person will be the biggest spender!

I don't want to take over the Alz. thread so will shut up for now but you can always PM me if you have questions.

Jan,I think of you & Hank all the time. hope & pray everything is OK.

(((hugs to all caregiver's))) Pati B]

[Jo6]

thanks Pati. yeah he does have some experience. His papa on his mom's side has done this for years. Issy has learned a lot, even to "do not trade and buy with Papa"!! lol He is good looking, got great personalty, got burned a few times, but any help you can throw this way will be appreciated. Talk later, jo

he is Ryliegh's dad

[tic chick]

hey everyone!

well, it was a good visit with mom again today.

she was eating in the dining room when i came. i walked in and said, "hi, mom. it's your daughter, jean." she said, "hi." and turned around to look at the doorway. i knew she was looking for my separated from husband...but i didn't care. he came in and started talking to her and she just brightened up. well, i know my mom's history with men, so it's not unusual that she would play up to them ...and i think all you ladies know what i mean.

my separated husband started taking pics of us again. i noticed and told my mom to smile and she was smiling and even laughing today. i had my arm around her and i said, "i love you, mom." she said, "you do?" i said, "yeah, do you know why?" she said, "why?" and i said, "cause i'm your daughter." and she smiled and said, "oh yeah, i forget." and we both started laughing. i don't know why we laughed, but i think i felt some kind of peaceful acceptance at that moment, acceptance of the whole situation that i am going through with her now and of what happened in the past.

thank you God for that moment.

well pati, once the floor is out, this homeowner is going to buy a flooor for herself that's going to last the next 25 years! this is MY HOUSE now. i don't find i'm needing any knee pads. i can sit sometimes on certain parts of the floor that i am doing. sometimes i do kneel, but it doesn't bother me. but julia, you're darn right about those gloves!! i was wearing some vinyl gloves the first two days i did the floor and i got scratched and blistered. yesterday i found an old pair of winter cloth gloves that no one is wearing cause they are ripped. i put those on and they are thin enough to let me move my hands freely, yet thick enough to protect from the shards of wood that were scratching me. so all is going as planned.

my lip area has almost healed. just a little redness. i don't think the scar will even be visible much. the doctor said i heal well.

i am having so much fun in my hustle dancing class! i got SOUL !

one of my girlfriends has 3 sisters. when they were growing up their mother used to buy barbie stuff for their dolls...shoes, dresses...etc. and put them away in a chest. then she forgot about them. when my girlfriend's mother died over 10 years ago, my girlfriend was cleaning out her attic and found a whole box of those barbie clothes from the late 50's to the 60's, all in their original wrapping and still like new. well, she sold them at a flea market to someone after getting them appraised from several dealers. she made $4000, which she split with her sisters. all the things i would have saved from the 60's if only i'd known they would be money making memorabilia now.

so, i'm going back to the floor now. i'll work about an hour more and then throw all the stuff away for garbage pick-up tomorrow.

jan, i'm thinking of you and hank, too .

thank you all my friends for sharing and caring ,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

Jeannie,that was a break through moment I'm thinking. and soooooo glad it happened! need those good days afterall.

good luck with the new floor!

Aaron Spellings widow Candy just sold all her doll collection for $750,000 @ auction. I was rather amazed.(just threw that in for nonsense)

[JanM]

Basically things are just rolling along here. This past Wednesday night I had to take Hank to the ER, nothing life threatening, His "poop chute" had to be manually emptied. A painful procedure , bur everything is working all right now.

A friend asked me to care for her dog while she and her husband went to visit family in the eastern part of the US. This is the nastiest Pom I have ever seen. He hissed and growls like a cat. When I would try to pick him up, he would snap at me. I toss a blanket or a towel over his head then I pick him up. That did not make me one of his favorite humans, I can almost hear him say, "I haaaaate you!" When we go outside, he is almost friendly and doesn't hiss at me. BUT if I say the word TREAT, I'm his best buddy! Bandit will be here three weeks. The boy is 15 years old, in a way he acts like Hank. Go figger, eh?

[Jo6]

Jan dear, you do have a way with words! It's good to see you post. We have all missed you, but also know you have your hands full.

I'm sorry Hank had to go thru this ordeal, it has to be painful, but if he didn't understand what was going on that could have made it worse. It's good you are back home and hope all is going well.

How are YOU doing?I think of you often and hope all is going as well as possible for you. Like I said, you do have both hands full with taking care of Hank and your own issues. I hope things are stable.

You take care dear Jan, love ya, Jo s

[Buttons2]

thanks for checking in Jan! just wrap that fluffball up in a Packer's jacket & let it sleep! hope you don't get bitten. glad Hank got his body functions going again. you take care!

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

my mom was in bed when we came last thursday. she was kind of getting ready to nap a bit, but she perked up when we came in and she was talking to us.

it didn't make much sense this week, she seemed to be in some mild kind of distress. i sometimes wonder if her colon polyp that i think is cancerous is spreading and she has some pain some days that she can't quite figure out where it is.

i talk to the nurse every week...nurse patricia . i know because i do that she is watching my mom more. about time to bake some more goodies for that shift...maybe i should for the afternoon shift, too?

i hope you are all doing well and coping with your own problems and grief. we all grieve over lost things...the loss of a pet, the loss of some of the things WE used to be able to do, the loss of family members, the loss of friends...so many things. i pray we all have the strength to cope with all these things.

i love you all because you care and share ,
jeannie

[tic chick]

hey all !

my mom was in outer space last thursday, not making much sense. the only thing i understood was her talking about my niece visiting her one day and her husband the doctor.

i don't know what else to say about days like this, just that it's hard to recover from them sometimes.

maybe next week will be better.

thank you all for caring and sharing ,
jeannie