June chitchat

[Prot]

Reading what you both have to contend with, I should be less negative about my own situation .

[agate]

I often feel that way too when reading what others are putting up with.

I don't know if you were here when the other forums were much more active but there were some heartbreaking stories on many of them. There was a JanDel in Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, for instance. When she passed away, that forum was named in her honor. I don't remember the details of her situation and may even have got the name of the disease wrong. I can't find it any more among the disorders listed here at BrainTalk. It must have been one of those that were so rare that they were dropped from the list.

[Virginia]

Agate, there have been some heart breaking stories on here in the past.

Thanks for asking about my family. I heard from my brother yesterday just for a brief call. They are to put new roofs on in my community. Some have been done already, but mine has not. He thought if it had been he would get his wife to come over here today and help with some cleanup. I have two skylights and we were advised to take things off the walls and cover underneath the skylights because the roofing company will not be responsible for anything that happens on the inside. They also recommended covering things in the attic.

Before the tragedy in my family they came over and cleaned out the attic. I pretty much got rid of everything because my SIL said we had emptied it out enough that she could use a broom and vacuum and clean it just as well. So my brother called to find out if the roof had been done. He has always been a very upbeat person. His voice just sounds very much like he is a robot right now. There is no joy in him right now. He said he had lost a credit card and was on his way back to see if it had been turned in at the only place he had used it. He called me back to say they didn't have it and he couldn't find it in the car or at home. He was going to cancel it and get them to send him another one right away. That was about the extent of his call to me.

My SIL is going to the beach Sunday with their daughter for a week. They wanted my brother to go but his daughter has 2 little boys age 1 and 3. As much as he loves them he just can't stay around them for long at the time right now. He says he will drive down 1 or 2 days and have lunch with them. I don't like the idea of him being completely alone at this time. They have an older son, but he is leaving tomorrow to get back to his business. He has to. I know he will call his dad every day. Both he and his sister have said they are more worried about him than their mom. The relationship had been so close for so many years. He was close to his mom, but not a day went by that he didn't talk to his dad. It had been like that from age 7 on. This is going to be hard.

I stayed a little busy today. If I could walk good and wasn't so slow I might could get a little something done. I did put in an Instacart order and took it in and put it away. I did part of my exercises while waiting for it to be delivered. I made a mixed fruit salad that I can eat on at lunch this week. I pulled myself upstairs and dusted and put some old sheets in the bathroom under the skylight. I stayed on the computer typing an email and checking an email. I never did do the last two leg exercises I needed to do. That was about the extent of my day. I forgot to add I cleaned a few things out of my freezer and my refrigerator and took the trash out.

Now it is 12:30 so I better get ready for bed. Hope that printer last many, many years and I hope you enjoy it very much.

[agate]

Virginia, it's such a shame that your brother had a lost credit card problem to put up with as that is such a nuisance. It sounds as if the family members are making a real effort to prop him up just now, and that is so nice when that happens.

Too bad that you're about to have a roofing job. I've never lived in a place with a skylight but that must present special problems for roofers. It certainly is creating a lot of extra effort for you. A while back you mentioned someone who comes to help with some housework. Could that person help in this situation?

That's a good idea about putting old sheets under the skylight. Maybe if there's debris, you can just fold up the sheets and discard the debris without having to sweep or vacuum.

When this building got a new roof some years ago, the debris was all outside in the yard. One big problem was that the roofers pretty much played by their own rules and scattered soda cans in the yard and made quite a lot of racket with their radios and yelling at one another back and forth across the premises. People here weren't happy with the experience. I hope your roofers will be more considerate of the residents!

Today was a day when I finally had a little more time to get on with the last phase of the printer installation, which I've been doing in phases over many days. to my amazement, this last phase went much more smoothly than I'd feared. The installation instructions made the last part sound very complicated, involving getting down on the floor and finding the right router and copying long and hard-to-read numbers from it. I was dreading this as I have big problems if I have to get on the floor on my knees, even with the kneepad.

But that part turned out to be something I didn't have to do. I was so happy when I finally was able to print a couple of pages from the Internet that I almost cried. They came out really beautifully. I was so thrilled that I ordered a dust cover for the printer as well as a supply of ink and discarded the rest of the packing material it came in.

[Prot]

Virginia,I apologise for not asking about your family.I hope you all get the support you need at such a distressing time.

[Virginia]

Today was a nothing day. I didn't do my exercises. I got up late and after dressing and eating I decided I would call a cousin which I normally keep up with. She has just a landline phone and has to pay for every call she makes so I do all the calling. I knew she knew about Grayson because I had received a call from a distant relative. She told me she had called my cousin so I didn't do it. It was a lengthy call and I was getting ready to tell her I had to go when my cell phone rang. It was my oldest niece. She was having a hard time today with all of this. She was crazy about Grayson. That turned out to be very lengthy. Two calls like that on that subject wore me out. I finally got some food about 8:30 tonight.

Tim, I hope you have a really nice Father's day.

Agate, pat yourself on the back for a job well done hooking up the printer. You just get in there and do what needs to be done, no matter what it is. You are good at reading directions.

I didn't think there would be a roof on your apartment. I just figured there would be one up on the top unit. They have told us not to go out between 7:00 and 9:00AM in the morning, to have our car parked someplace else from 6:30 AM until 7:00PM. They also said to be careful where we walk because they say they will use care but there still might be some roofing nails and screws around. I plan to be careful, and I don't want company during that time. I don't want anyone to get a nail or screw in their foot.

Everyone enjoy your evening. I had planned to go to bed earlier, but it is already 12:35AM, so by the time I get everything put away and my face washed and teeth brushed I'll be lucky to make it by 1:30. Goodnight.

[agate]

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to everyone who is a father or who has a father who is cared about!

Virginia, the niece you mentioned might be a sister of Grayson's? It was kind of you to listen and help family members but I agree that just carrying on a conversation can be very draining when you're trying hard to understand what the person is most upset about and wondering if there is anything you can say that would be helpful. Sounds as if you had two of those kinds of conversations at once.

The roofing job wasn't directly over my apartment as I'm on the first floor. The roof covers the whole building but only the people on the top floor (4th) would have been getting the worst of the noise. The rest of us saw the debris falling down and had ladders right outside our windows much of the time, with men shouting at one another as they went up and down the ladders. There may have been a scaffolding set up too but I might be confusing the roofing job with an exterior paint job that was done at another time.

For how many days will there be those restrictions about going out and about where cars are parked? I hope it won't be for many days but it sounds as if it is a rather large complex and the job might take a while.

Yesterday I did almost nothing except work on the housing recertification. Because there's no regular office person here yet (it's been 6 months now), they're doing this process entirely differently, and I have very little time to get the paperwork together.

I'm especially glad right now that at last I have a working printer. It will be very helpful for this.

[Prot]

I'm having a good Father's day . My daughter came round for a while with a card and father's day presents. Tubi grip my oldest granddaughter got me for my right knee is working quite well. My daughter has said I need to be walking more. I usually start with good intentions , but don't keep it up for very long. I wanted to set up a reminder with Alexa to walk around the flat on the hour between 11am -11pm , but that was too complicated for her. Have been mostly trying to make some headway with my family history, interspersed with quick checks of Facebook and Twitter. It's more than a little frustrating that not only are there an increasing number of private family trees, but often a request to see the tree goes unanswered.

[Virginia]

Tim, so glad you had a nice Father's Day. Your daughter and Granddaughter sound like very caring and kind people. How much of that came from you?

Agate my oldest niece is a daughter of my older brother who passed away a couple of years ago. Grayson had one sister and one brother. They are much younger than my oldest brothers children. My mother and father spread us out. My older brother and I were only 2 1/2 years apart, but my middle brother is 8 years younger than I am and my youngest brother is 14 years younger.

I have had another nothing day. Just stayed in bed late, and have done nothing other than check emails and Facebook. I need to call a neighbor but just haven't felt up to it. I know I have to try to do some exercises tomorrow. It is hard right now to do anything, but I will have to force it.

About the roofing - we are a neighborhood of about 100 Town homes. Since we are town homes we all have individual roofs, however I think they are trying to do about eight at the time and then move to another area of the neighborhood.. They are a large roofing company and I don't think it takes too long in each area. Probably two to five days and they should move to another area. My car will need to stay moved while they are working on mine and maybe the two to three next to me. Since my roof is right over my head I will have a day or so of a lot of noise, then the noise will be less as they move to the other houses. It would not be so bad other than noise of any kind just bothers me right now, even the tv. I can have it on only a short period of time. I will get over it.

[agate]

Tim, congratulations on managing to thread your way through family trees. I keep trying and not getting very far on Geni.com. Somehow I keep losing track of the different parts of a tree.

Virginia, is there a good spot where you can park your car during the roofing--some place that won't be too far for you to get to? Do you have a cart for hauling groceries from the car?

When does the roofing sta rt? Maybe some neighbors can work together on ways of coping with any problems that come up?

My mother spread the kids out too. My sister was 18 years older, and the youngest brother was 13 years older. It was nice for me in a way because by the time I came along, they were old enough not to feel especially threatened by a younger sibling.

[Virginia]

Agate, I had really worried about where to park my car because I can't walk enough to get back home even if it is only a block. I was told they will put a note on my door the night before they roof my house. A neighbor who has had her roof done already said just call her and she would come over and get my car and park it at her place. It would be about a two minute walk for her but a 30 to 40 minute one for me. I would have to follow the parking lot and not get off the pavement. She can just jot through some trees and walk on the ground. I can't walk 3 steps on a dirt ground because it is always uneven. I would expect you are the same way when it comes to uneven surfaces.

I hope Tim will follow the advice of his daughter and walk, even if just a little, every hour. When I have days like the last couple I should also do that. It helps to not have blood clots in the legs.

[Prot]

Tim, so glad you had a nice Father's Day. Your daughter and Granddaughter sound like very caring and kind people. How much of that came from you?

None came from me. We see each other as father and daughter, but are not blood related. Her biological father by all accounts was not a good man and disappeared off the scene when she was pre school age.I've known her since she was 10. She'll be 52 this year. Due to reasons I won't go into in detail, but involved her aunt falsely saying her Mum had abandoned her and her brother, she was taken into care. My wife and I had a long fight to get her out of care. I still remember my wife sobbing and sobbing because she was so upset,and missing her like crazy.

I'm very proud of her.She was told, like many put into care, she'd amount to nothing. She's spent over 25 years working for care agencies . Starting at the bottom, and is now the manager of the local branch of a national care agency. I call her and the granddaughters, and gt grandchildren my chosen family. I'm very lucky to have them in my life.

[Prot]

I've set reminders with Alexa to do my exercises, and to do some walking. I'm like you both re uneven ground. I doubt I'll ever go out on my own again, with or without use of a stroller. I'd rather be ultra cautious than throw caution to the wind. Another fall would be disastrous!

[agate]

I hear you about falls, Tim. Trying to avoid them is an effort but worth it.

I just can't navigate on uneven ground. Maybe it's partly that I don't always see the dips in the terrain but mostly it's my wobbly legs. The back yard of this building is what my windows look out on, but it's uneven, rocky and muddy and even with sprinkler heads popping up at you when you don't realize they're there. There are tree roots to trip on too. Rollators and wheelchairs just can't get over that kind of surface. Sometimes I look out and see something strange on the ground out there and would love to get a closer look and maybe remove it if it's trash but in recent years I curb that impulse.

I now have some cheap binoculars that sometimes enable me to see out there.

Years ago when they were doing the big jobs like painting the building outside or the roofing job, we had to move everything off our patios. The logical place to move my plants was across that back yard and up against the fence. I did that each time but it really wasn't easy at all, particularly since it was summer and apt to be hot. I did it in phases in the evening if it cooled off.

If they schedule another big job like that, I just won't be able to move the plants. I'll have to think of something else. Maybe I can bring them indoors but I don't want to bring in the ants and slugs and gnats and so forth.

Virginia, it sounds as if you've got a workable plan for the car during the roofing.

First-floor people here fight hard to latch onto a parking space that is as close as possible to their apartment. Having to trudge from your car with loads of shopping bags can be so tiring, and getting hit hard by bad weather while you're doing that just makes it worse. And these are people who don't have MS.

Of course you don't want your car to get damaged by falling debris but if your plan doesn't work out, could you get by with covering the car with a tarp? Or is the car in the way of their work? Isn't roofing done with ladders that aren't positioned near the parked cars?

[Virginia]

Well, the roofing is underway. It started early this morning and I don't blame them. It is hot weather here. I heard something like taping (in addition to noise) and immediately thought of my skylight. I went in the kitchen and one end had a lot of debris. Some fairly large pieces. A smaller amount was on my dining room floor which is carpet. I swept up the larger pieces and will vacuum when they finish. The skylight seems to be the main problem. They still have not completed it. I am a little concerned because it appears to be completely clear. My other one let in light, but had just a tiny bit of tint in it to keep out the heat.

I remember a neighbor I used to have calling me and saying she was going to have to find someone who could lay a piece of tint over hers because it was clear and was heating her place up real bad. I hope that doesn't happen here. I haven't been upstairs to look at that one. By the way I found two roofing nails on my kitchen floor that they had dropped while the skylight was out.

I had a decorative shelf on a wall in my living room. I had searched and found a small china plate the colors I wanted. The plate dropped to the floor and broke in a lot of pieces. I am going to just take the shelf down and not have anything there. I had to look a long time to find that plate. It had birds on it. I can't do that kind of walking anymore.

Thankfully my neighbor did get my car and move it. It would have been badly damaged.

Tim, I think it is wonderful that you have your family. Sometime chosen families can be such a blessing. It is a good thing your wife loved and wanted them. I can only imagine the bad things children have to hear and go through in some (but not all) the care homes you are talking about. I haven't kept up with what is happening here with those type places. But I do know that people used to be paid by the state to take children in. It was enough money that if they took a couple of kids they didn't have to work. That did not bother me if they were good to them and tried to bring them up as they should. I remember one lady I met who had two. She was talking about the girl and said the day she turned 18 years old she was going to get out of her house. That is when the money stopped for her. I never felt the same about that lady.

I agree with both of you about falls. One bad fall can put us in a nursing home for life. I too try to be extra careful about what I do to try and avoid a fall.