August chitchat

[Virginia]

I hate to admit this on here, but I am very depressed. I know so many people have it worse than I do, but I think a lot of my depression is not having anyone to help me make decisions or just to talk things over with.

I have been very, very tired for quite a while now and just trying to take care of myself plus everything else is becoming overwhelming.

I can not talk to any of my brothers. They are not interested in hearing it and have pretty much made that clear, so I feel completely alone. This is not money related though if I make a change that will have to be taken into consideration. It is more just feeling so bad, and not thinking I can keep on like this. Neuro is out. He is about 39 years old and doesn’t have a clue about this type of thing.

Also walking is deteriorating and I guess I am scared.

Anyone have any suggestions?

[Ikoiko]

I hear you.

[agate]

Virginia, I wish I had some answers or even suggestions. This forum is a place where you can at least talk about what's on your mind, and so there's absolutely no need to feel badly about admitting to feeling sad here.

A couple of people here have been MIA lately, but there are at least a handful of us here, and we're here to help if we can.

I try to fight off depression too but the only way I know of to shove it into the background is to remind myself that after all, the older I get, the less future I will have, and it isn't so surprising if I'm feeling sad about that. There's nothing especially upbeat about aging--and facing the probability of some severe medical problems.

Not necessarily though. I think of the many people in my family--and people I've known--who've simply dropped dead, all of a sudden. I tell myself that I could be like that.

I make up my mind that I will be like that, in fact.

The next step in this thinking is to realize that since that's going to be the way it's going to be, why worry? Here is this day, and I might as well enjoy it because it won't come this way again.

Yes, there may be some very horrible stuff down the road for me.

I'll just have to face that when/if it happens. In the meantime, it isn't happening.

And that's good. Very very good.

It seems to me you're doing a good job of keeping on, Virginia!

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Hugs to All)))))) ~

Virginia ~

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with depression, which is understandable given all of the issues you've confronted in the last year or so. You want and work so hard to feel good, and it's defeating, when you don't. I think that depression is common among people, who have chronic health issues. And, as agate said, aging can be depressing.

My first thought for you is to see your PCP and have a complete check up. CBC, CMP, thyroid, Vitamin D level, Vitamin B12 level, etc. ask to have your hyperparathyroid checked too. Rule out/rule in any systemic causes for your fatigue and your depression. Thyroid is famous for those symptoms.

Also, check all of your meds for side effects similar to how you're feeling. If it could be med-induced, then talk with your PCP about adjusting doses or even changing to another medication without those side effects.

How are your sleeping habits? Is there any chance that you might have sleep apnea? Also a potential cause for your symptoms.

If you can get to the core of why you're feeling as you do, then there will be ways to help you feel better.

I'm so sorry that you can't turn to your brothers for comfort, advice and support. I know that hurts you deeply. You have family here, and even though we can't sit beside you, hug you and hold your hand, we are virtually doing that every day.

Please make an appointment (and I understand that is a dreaded thing, I really do) to see if you can get to the bottom of what's causing your symptoms. It's hard to have a positive attitude or be in a good mood, when you feel like crud day in and day out.

You are in my prayers.

Sunshine and Jeanie ~

We've been watching the Weather Channel for much of the day following the path and strength of Dorian. Our prayers are with you that Dorian dissipates in ferocity and that you both are well prepared for anything that could happen.

ANN ~

I'm so sorry about Peter's relative and that you couldn't make your visit to see him. Prayers for you all.

SuzE-Q ~

So happy to see your posts! I've missed you!

Howie ~

You can watch Comet TV LIVE on line:

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

Sending healing, positive energy to all ~

Love & Light,



Rose

[stillstANNding]

Virginia, I am sorry to hear that you have no one close to share this with. I think sharing your feelings does help. There are counselors who work exclusively in geriatrics. That might be a place to start. And it is worth telling your PMD that you are depressed and also tired to make sure that nothing has been missed.

Have you considered moving into a building for older folks that has services and amenities in the building. The one Mom and I are considering for her, when she’s ready, is for over 55 but most are older. She would have her own apartment, could have a car if she were still driving and can have a cat.

There’s housecleaning, three meals, library, gym, shuttles - I’m sure you are familiar with this kind of place. This one has a reasonable monthly rent with no buy-in. There’s even a fruit, snack and coffee bar for folks who can’t sleep.

It might make you feel less overwhelmed if you looked into places and knew you had options.

ANN

[Howie]

Rose, that's what I've been doing, watching it online, at least my favorite shows. But I would prefer seeing it on TV where it belongs. I still can't get it on the TV.

[nuthatch]

Gosh, it seems like you guys are having to prepare for a hurricane so often these days . . . or maybe I'm just more aware of it due to the TV news reporting? When exactly is hurricane season? I thought tornado season was in the spring, but it seems we are hearing about tornados hitting all year now. Again, is it because the news reports on it more or because there is a lot more tornados than normal?

Virginia - We are always here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to you have my number. We all need someone to talk to, it's a very human thing. Hugs

[Virginia]

Thanks Agate, certainly some of what you say is true. I find myself thinking surely I don’t have a lot longer and then feel guilty for thinking like that. I just feel hopeless right now. I have been dealing alone for so long. Friends could never understand this since all of them are pretty healthy. Also most have family even if they are not in the same house.

Rose, most all the blood test you mentioned were done several months ago, this includes thyroid, WBC, vitamin D3 and others. Because I am on an interferon blood work has to be done periodically.

Ann, yes I have considered a retirement home just as you described. With the sale of my house I can do that. I don’t know if I would want to, but gave up on it because I can’t push a wheelchair to get to meals or anything else. I don’t feel I have enough balance for a scooter. Also a scooter or a power chair are bulky and you have to be able to get new batteries when they give out.

I had much rather be in my own home, but of course this has to be in the back of my mind. If your Mother went this route she would have you and Peter and your brother and his wife to help her. Also your Mother is a lot older than I am. I have looked at two, both nice but there are several more I would want to see. A good suggestion weather for me or not.

There are no really small places, but I do better in a small area. I would not want to enter a retirement home planning to cook my own meals. This defeats the purpose. Also the ones I have looked into you pay the same thing even if you want to do your own cooking.

Shortly after I was diagnosed I saw a Phycologist but she turned out not to know anything about MS. I saw a different one later, but it was the same thing.

Hopefully, I will get out of this at some point. I miss our members that are missing, but appreciate those of you who are here.

[stillstANNding]

The MS Society or similar or the Dept on Aging or Elder Affairs for you city might be able to suggest psych help for elders w disabilities.

Elder Affairs. That’s another good idea. ;-)

ANN

[Virginia]

Thanks Ann!!

Nuthatch, I will keep in mind that I have your number. If I call anytime I hope you can understand my Southern accent.😀

[agate]

Virginia, are you sure there are no really small places? I've looked at a few apartments in retirement communities over the years, and most were quite small--500 square feet or less. Most were HUD housing but one was called "affordable housing" and was privately owned. Its apartments were smaller than the HUD apartments.

With the enthusiasm for "tiny homes," my guess is that quite a few people are interested in living in smaller spaces these days.

[Sunshine]

Virginia, Depression can be so painful. And loneliness. I am so sorry you are suffering... I know that
When I suffer from disease and the emotional stuff that comes with it, I push away people, which helps me in teh short term to not have to cope with visiting, but I think It exacerbates depression. I make excuses not to see them. Etc...is it that way for you too?

[Virginia]

Yes Sunshine that is the way it is. I have already told a brother that I can not go out to eat this weekend. I told him I have plans which I do. I am going to stay home.

I can kind of read between the lines that they feel it is duty to come all this way. Sometimes we are out of the restaurant in less than an hour. Several times my middle brother has yelled at me. I have to be careful what I say now all the time. I am not their responsibility and I will not be talked down to even by a brother.

Agate that is not the kind of small I was talking about. I was thinking of something more like a small building that I could get around in, but then there would not be the same amenities, such as hair and nail salon, nice dining area, shuttle, etc.

I guess things will work out in the end. Maybe I will come out of this feeling of hopelessness.

[agate]

Virginia, I'm constantly wrestling with the same problem--feeling like a burden and not wanting to be one.

Backing off from some social opportunities sounds like a good idea. I do this a lot. It's tiring to keep straining to hear what's said and trying to juggle everything you have to juggle in a social setting while hoping that I don't have some kind of a problem. Some places are too dark to see well in, or too hot to function in, or the bathroom is far away or inaccessible. These little inconveniences add up and I'm usually telling myself there's no place like home and sitting back to watch a movie, glad I don't have to go anywhere.

[Howie]

Even Dorothy knew that, "There's no place like home".