September Chit/Chat

[Virginia]

Jeanie, I am on pretty much the same page as you.

You are a gad-about - just hoping all over the place lately. It is so wonderful. You are doing more now than you were before the accident I think. It's great!

[agate]

Jeanie and Virginia, if Ikoiko's posts were among Cherie's reasons for leaving, that may be because Cherie must have been pretty upset lately. I've read through all of Ikoiko's previous posts, including the archived ones, though the first 10 years of her posts are lost because they're simply not available here any more. Whatever she may have said when she first joined here isn't available.

One real problem here is not WHAT Ikoiko said but HOW it was said, as I see it.

WHAT she said was simply a caution to Cherie about posting material that would make it too easy for someone to pick up information about a person and possibly use it in a malicious way. She was quite right, and Cherie did find that out, I think. It's sad but true that we have to think differently about how we share information on the Internet, compared to real-life situations like one-on-one interactions .

It would have been far better if that caution had been transmitted to Cherie by PM. However, Ikoiko doesn't seem to have PM's enabled, or at least she didn't shortly after this happened, and she doesn't now. She could have enabled them temporarily for that purpose but people aren't always aware of that possibility.

But people here who make their choices for their own good reasons. It's possible that Ikoiko avoids stress because of her MS and prefers not to deal with PMs. She may have had bad experiences with them in the past. People do send hostile, accusatory PMs that can be very upsetting.

It might make this situation easier to understand if a few facts about Ikoiko are stated here.

Yes, she was blunt--and she hadn't posted much at all here. But people with MS have to take shortcuts--and be blunt sometimes, for lack of energy to do more explaining. I understand that only too well.



...

EDITED TO ADD: There's some blaming going on in these recent posts, and that doesn't seem like a compassionate way to treat someone who's had MS for many years. Ikoiko reads here daily even though she doesn't show up as being here. She's one of many who opt to be "invisible." Even though she's invisible, she's here, and she has feelings, I kinda think.

[Sunshine]

I have compassion for Cherie.
And, I also have compassion for Ikoiko.

A person stops posting for complex reasons.

I doubt it was Ikoiko’s intent to cause Cherie to stop posting.

We mourn that Cherie is not posting at this time. But I think it’s important not to turn this sadness into anger directed at another person.

[Virginia]

Agate, I think you said it right when you said that it was how it was said. In fact when I posted my support of Jeanie I then thought about why I felt this way, and my very thought was that it was how it was handled. Ikoiko appears able to go on more than one forum and is able to post when it is something she is interested in.
Yet, you are indicating she may not be able to enable her PM. There could have been a post made that was a general post to all of us. That I think would have served the purpose and alerted Cherie as much as calling her out by name.

I am not a person who seeks controversy or anything that causes me stress. I can’t afford to be. If Ikoika is having a rough time I wish she would share that much with us. As far as the DMDs go I have been on three and was tried to be put on a fourth which was Tysabri. I am still on one and neither me nor my Doctor know if it is doing any good anymore, but we are both afraid to find out.

What is done is done. I wish Ikoika the best with whatever she is dealing with. The only thing I would say is since she has run into this situation before I hope that she will be careful about how she approaches it from now on. I do not truly dislike her, only what has happened on this forum.

As I said I can’t deal with the stress.

[agate]

I'm having problems with the stress too, Virginia, and know what you mean. We're most of us old timers here--including of course Ikoiko.

Your suggestion about another way it could have been handled is excellent. But not everyone is adept at how to do things on message boards. I know I often have been like a bull in a china shop on a message board.

The situation wasn't handled well, but it's done now and can't very well be undone.

I hope we can move on--and maybe we should try to make sure we're not circling any wagons here by being mistrustful of people we don't hear from often or new people in general.

[Howie]

"Can't we all just get along?" Rodney King

[agate]

Good idea, Howie. Each of us has real-life problems we're dealing with.

Today brought news of the death of a friend of mine. We've been friends for 47 years. My son and her son are still friends. Our kids were often together. She had 4--I had 2. I got to know her because she and her husband bought our house when I had to sell it. They liked the house so much that it's still in the family. A few years ago she deeded it over to one of her sons.

I'm going to miss her.

[Virginia]

Agate it is very hard to lose a friend and certainly a long time one. I am really sorry for your loss.

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((agate)))))) ~

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. What a wonderful and long friendship you shared. Jim and I send you, your friend's family, and yours our prayers for peace and comfort.



Love & Light,



Rose

[agate]

On another MS forum, a physician with MS used to post about her disabilities, and I was one degree of separation away from her, as well. It was sort of easy to tell where she worked from her posts. On another, a teacher posted about smoking pot (illegal then) and again, wouldn't you know it, I was connected to her small town and she posted enough information to let me know where she worked. It is the Internet, people: good and bad.

Ikoiko, it sounds as if this was a while ago? That doesn't make it any less relevant now but I think many people have learned over time that, as you say, the Internet is people--good and bad. And it's a small world too.

[agate]

Wasn't Sterno something alcoholic bums used to drink that blinded them, or killed them?

Sure enough.

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

I've seen cans of Sterno being sold in supermarkets but never bought any.

I have heard of alcoholics helping themselves to cough medicines and extracts (vanilla, etc.) though and so i can believe they'd try Sterno too.

[Ikoiko]

Boy, a lot of assumptions being made about me. Who said I am having a rough time? I don't care what anyone else posts about themselves. Peace

[agate]

Ikoiko, some of us are trying hard NOT to make assumptions. I for one, and when I posted about what is known about you and what might be going on in your life, I tried to make it clear that I had no way of knowing but was just saying what the possibilities are. Since this place is occupied by people with MS and so much can be going wrong with us at any time without anyone's knowing about it (unless we mention it), I was just trying to remind people of the kind of situation you MIGHT be having. I also pointed out that you might just be too busy to say much on a message board.

Virginia said "If Ikoiko is having a rough time, ..." She didn't say you were having a rough time. We were both indicating that we don't know. Of course we'd like to know you better but we can't ask you to say any more than you want to say.

Peace sounds like a good idea.

And if there is any way of encouraging Cherie to return, becoming a friend of hers on Facebook might be one way of at least letting her know that we consider ourselves her friends. If you are so inclined and use Facebook, why not send her a friend request? It's just a thought....

[Lazarus]

KAs I posted to the board and therefore to Cherie before she again exited the board....Ikoiko made a simple statement reminding us all of an important warning about our internet posts. Many people think that when you have to register and have a password to use a site that there is some security for what you are writing.

I used to post this same warning from time to time because I wanted people to realize this when they talked about driving problems. I could imagine a court case where my posts could be searched out and used. A general search gets one to Braintalk. You do not need to know that a Braintalk exists.

Just a simple statement. From me in the past and an even simpler one from Ikoiko in the present. And, because Cherie did not simply say thank you and keep doing whatever she wanted however she wanted, Ikoiko’s past posts have been examined and interpreted and guesses are made about her motives!

Please! Can we stop this aspect of the thread. It is useless commentary now and serves to continue what is now unpleasant.

[agate]

As I posted to the board and therefore to Cherie before she again exited the board....Ikoiko made a simple statement reminding us all of an important warning about our internet posts. Many people think that when you have to register and have a password to use a site that there is some security for what you are writing.

I used to post this same warning from time to time because I wanted people to realize this when they talked about driving problems. I could imagine a court case where my posts could be searched out and used. A general search gets one to Braintalk. You do not need to know that there is a Braintalk exists.

Just a simple statement. From me in the past and an even simpler one from Ikoiko in the present. And, because Cherie did not simply say thank you and keep doing whatever she wanted however she wanted, Ikoiko’s past posts have been examined and interpreted and guesses are made about her motives!

Please! Can we stop this aspect of the thread. It is useless commentary now and serves to continue what is now unpleasant.

In defense of my post (#133), I did feel that Ikoiko deserved a reply.