What's Happening in our Caregiving World?

[Ging]

thanks , Kat was the one that gave me the information and a web site on Vascular Dememtia as well as Lewy Body Dementia
I read both and since my Hubby has diabetes, I am thinking this has something to do with it. Like many , I think the quick anger and the inability to reason with him is what tires me the most. I will survive, I have too, are just two people in the same space , who can barely get along. I am only human and so is he, I may take up going to the gym just for the stress release, my son said Mom you have a lot of anixiety, and dad is severely depressed. He is right on both counts, but my Hubby is taking cymbalta 60 mg. and many other meds that should help with that but it doesn't seem to. He is an angry angry Man. :( thanks Pati (((hugs))) right back to you all, I am a woman on the edge for sure ! Ging

[tic chick]

hey everyone !

jan, i do hope they find a kidney donor for you. did the tumor in your pituitary have anything to do with your kidney failure? you'll be in my prayers.

ging, sometimes medications that help brain conditions don't work well with people with alzheimer's because their brains aren't signalling properly to each other to begin with. usually people with alzheimer's shouldn't take any atypical anti[psychotics or the first line older antipsychotics. i see cymbalta is mostly an antidepressant and is used for peripheral neuropathy, which happens when you have diabetes. my mom is on effexor and i don't think that's worked for a long time. she is also on xanax, which i think still works for her anxiety. i think mostly the pain pills mellow her out.

well, my mom was in bed today. she was sleeping when i came and her lunch was cold. i tried waking her up, but it was hard and she didn't seem to even know who i was. i asked an aide to rewarm her plate for me and i fed her...for the first time . her right shoulder was hurting so bad she couldn't move it and maybe that's why she couldn't feed herself. it's just another downward step. i didn't understand a darn thing she said today. i just fed her and made small talk. i also made some chocolate chip cookies for the nursing station. i have made a friend out of the nurse on duty and i pretty much can ask her to do a lot of stuff for me when i come to visit my mom and she''ll check on it right away. also, one of the aides that gets up my mom in the morning is a friendly person. no harm in having friends in high places . they do know i come there regularly and i ask questions, so i think that's better for my mom.

when we're leaving she says. "thank you for coming robert." (my hubby's name). she doesn't call me by name. *SIGH.

i can't do anything about it. i can't do anything about it.

that's what's happening in my caregiving world today.

thank you all for sharing and caring ,
jeannie

[JanM]

I have had Diabetes for 28 years now and I was told 15 years ago the kidneys were going. I started on CAPD this past April. I do 5 exchanges every 3 hours a day, every day, at home. All of it confuses Hank every day. I have explained to him that IF the transplant comes through, that I will have to place him in a local nursing home for a month. That I cannot take care of him because I will have to recover myself. See tagline :ambivalence:

[Buttons2]

thanks for correcting me Jan. will pray that tumor just stays small-surely you have enough to deal with right now? now of course I'm wondering if you have a relative offering to give you a kidney? or on a list waiting for a donor? my cousin has been waiting for some time now. he has his own home dialysis machine.makes me count my blessings for sure!

[Jo6]

I've been tied up with trying to take care of Ken this week and haven't been in much this week. You all never leave my mind though. Sometimes I will talk to Ken about differant ones and the problems you are having. He understands how things go and he is very tender when we speak of the things going on here. He finally broke down and cried, I mean Really cried for the 1st time since his Mom died. My opinion, it was good for him. `

((((Jan,)))) my heart goes out to you. Yes, you have always sounded like you could handle anything and you've done a darn good job of it. I'm ever so sorry about all of your health problems. I had a neice that was born, or very early on, diabetic. When she was in her teens she had a kidney trans-plant. She did very well for many years after. She had many other health problems and all of them together finally took her from us. It wasn't her kidney, just her heart, several strokes etc that took her.

I hope you will find someone soon to share their kidneys with you.. Yes, you are one strong lady and you have done a real good job keeping us in the dark about your own health. Not fusing at you, just want you to know I love you very much and every time I see those Packers I see your smiling face.! You have given us many smiles in a forum that has a time finding anything to smile about You and Hank both are in my prayers. All my love, Julia

Ging, I have been thinking a lot about you and your hubby. I hate to think how you must feel at the things you are learning from others. It's not easy either way you find out your LO is suffering from a disease like Alzheimer's, or any kind of Demintia! You don't sound well yourself and I am glad you did post in Emotional Support Forum. Most of the membors that post here post there also. It is a good place to get rid of some of the stress. We have a fine group there and I hope you will continue to come there also.

You sound so tired, I'm afraid you aren't taking care of yourself. You Must do that! I think if you did go to the gym it would probably help. There you can do things at your own pace. When I had Therapy last I did some aquatic therapy. that helped me more than any other therapy I have had. I'm glad you stopped in here and sharing with us.

Please do take care of yourself so you can do what you will be faced with as time goes on. I'm glad you are speaking up to hubby, it sounds like he is much morse than I thought at first. If he is still driving it may be time to work something out with son and take his car key. Or, one other thing, talk with a Social worker, they can report him to the HWY Dept. and they can recall his license. Gads, I'm tired tonight and my writing is showing that so I better stop before I really make a mess. Ging, don't forget we are here for you, day or night. My e-mail addy is in my profil and you are welcome to write me if you want. many ((((Ging)))) comming your way, my love, Julia

Jeannie, I'm sorry about your Mom. Feeding her will sure bring the fact she is going down hill and it is heart breaking for you. I wish I could help in some way. Remember I love you!! Julia

Pati, dear Pati, You have been a huge help to me too. I wish I knew how to make things right for you. My love to you also. You take care of yourself, you hear me? I'm older than you so I can boss you. I can just see you doing what I say. lol You are a real love and you are a dear friend to me. ((((Pati)))) Jo

To all that I haven't mentioned, my prayers and love I send to you. Here's a bunch of hugs. whenever anybody needs one just take what you need out of the bag I'll throw over in the cornor. All my love, Jo s

[JanM]

Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes. Very few people even know of what is happening to me. You all are the only group I have opened up to. Even though I have an outgoing personality, I am a very private person. I am struggling as to if I should tell my church family about my situation. I know that I should, but for what reason?

[Buttons2]

OK Jan, you brought up what I was wondering-your church. that's the one place you might get a donor don't ya think? (I'm not Catholic so no idea if that's a ban or not?) those people should help,and with Hank also. I got the impression you kept your troubles to yourself,people cannot help if they don't know you need it.

we're here for you always Jan!! ((((hugs))) Pati

Jo,I agree it was good for Ken to have a good cry. still waiting for that with my housemate. he sees tears as a weakness I'm sure.I may need to start a thread about him soon. rather alarmed me last night over his behavior. I'm OK! Jan so please don't fret. I think his daughter's death is a factor in his behavior these days but he's being very irrational lately. (((hugs))) Pati

[Jo6]

Pati, it could take a little pressure off of you to start a thread on HM. His daughter's death could have caused his problems to increase. Way back when I remember reading that if someone was suffering any kind of Dementia bad news could get that coaster on high speed----downward! How awful, but nothing about these Disease's is good.

You take care of Your self. Stress can cause some of the back pain to increase. I know it effected my back problems. Yes, it did help Ken to have a good cry. It's been long in comming, but my # 2 son told me he saw him do something he didn't think he would ever see K do. CRY! That was when I was in the hospital and I had that horrible seizuer. He also has always acted like crying was a sign of weakness. He seems to mellow out a bit, but not totally!!!! He will finish his eye drops after Thanksgiving. I'm glad all of that is behind him. His vision is almost perfect! He is growing again but I just walk off and he forgets by the time I come back.

I care deeply for you Pati and I don't want you to finnish breaking your health. You are kind and loving and try to care for everybody. If HM gets worse you may need some help. I know you will make that decision when the time comes.

take care dear one, Jo (((( Pati ))))

[JanM]

Just tell Ken that REAL MEN DO CRY that means that they are human beings not apes!

[JanM]

thanks for correcting me Jan. will pray that tumor just stays small-surely you have enough to deal with right now? now of course I'm wondering if you have a relative offering to give you a kidney? or on a list waiting for a donor? my cousin has been waiting for some time now. he has his own home dialysis machine.makes me count my blessings for sure!

Not to worry, there is so much discussed here and it is hard to remember every detail. Also it is next to impossible to go back to find the original post to refresh one's memory.

[Buttons2]

my own cognitive issues are bad these days. I keep mixing up names & going back to edit for one thing. got my Jan & Jo mixed up on last post for instance. we all care about each other so no big deal.housemate has been taking his B12,better at it than I am!

[Jo6]

Pati dear, you have a boat load of stressfull things in your life that is enough to cause you to forget. I seem to understand everything you say and if there is a mistake its no big deal.

At least I hope it isn't cause I make so many everybody probably thinks I'm crazy.Don't sweat the small things. You have HM, your parents and I know you have 2 sons. Even if all is well with sons, mothers worry. thats just the way things are. Stop worring about little things that is not noticed most of the time. You yourself know how crazy I get at times. I haven't thought about calling the spelling police yet. I my self can't spell worth a hoot!!

I hope you have a stressfree day. That can help with the other problems we all face. I'm thinking and praying for all of you that have so much on you.

Take care, Jo s

Thanks Jan. lol I'll have to tell him to stop acting like an ape when
he should shed a tear or 2. Sorry, shouldn't be so hard on him, now should I

[mrsjerome]

It’s been a while since I posted on this forum This is just a recent update on my husband.
My husband moved to a different NH this summer. The other one for some reason or other did not want to tolerate him there anymore. That is of course a long story that I won’t go into in this post. The home he is in now turned out to be so much better for him. He has his own room so the other residents don’t bother him. He has use of the bathroom to himself as the gentleman on the other side (the bathroom is shared between the two rooms). Is not capable of using it. This is a big plus for my husband. The downside for me is that this NH is about 25 miles from my home. (the other one was only 5 minutes away). This means I cannot drop in on him as often as I did before. I just had some surgery also last month and just started driving again too.
In early Sept. my husband’s hemoglobin was really low and with the help of my daughter and son-in-law driving him to the hospital in their area, he was hospitalized for that reason. A low hemoglobin like he had usually indicates an internal bleed. So they did an endoscopy the following day and during the procedure when they tried to clamp the vein that was leading to the bleed the vein burst and they had to clamp it off by going through the groin and getting the bleed stopped from the other way. He was in the ICU for several days and was given a lot of units of blood the time he was there. He was discharged a week later and went back to the NH. Later the NH Dr. sent him to the outpatient dept. of the local hospital for more units of blood. They test him now every couple of weeks as it takes a while for that hemoglobin number to go up. Last week they did a CT of the abdominal area cause he was still complaining of stomach pain. So far haven’t heard the results of that. I think though that he is doing much better than before as his appetite is back. Perhaps he is eating too much and that is the reason for his stomach hurting. With my husband I just never know.
Take Care all
mrs j

[joy]

it is good to hear how you are doing mrsJ. . must admit still kinda the woods cause i am gonna lose the rest of what little is left of my mind if something doesn't stop this swelling. guess back to bed for me. I have enjoyed the escape for awhile tho and visiting with everyone. :o darned thing shouldn't say embarassed, it is a pink cheeked smiling face to me!!
.

[mrsjerome]

Joy
I think you have me confused with the other mrs’s . I don’t recall ever listing my first name . I always signed as mrs j.
Sorry to hear of the problems with your leg. Hope that the Drs. can find the right antibiotic that will fight this infection.
Take Care
mrs j