OT January Chit Chat

[jendie]

I loved living in high plains of NE Colorado where the humidity is low. I just didn't love the snow we got there. Snow is pretty, but if one has to walk through snow when it is more than 3 inches deep, things can happen that throws off one's balance.

I'll stick with the temperate climes of NW Washington. I am thinking of buying a dehumidifier for the summer when temps go over 75 degrees. If the humidity is high, I have a difficult time breathing.

It's not like I can go to the beach all the time. lol

[Howie]

I run my dehumidifier 24/7 year round. When I first moved here, it would have mold start in the kitchen. Cleaned and painted the kitchen and put a small dehumidifier in there, and the mold problem ended.

[jendie]

I fell out of bed this morning... Ugh

I put my left foot down and my leg just decided not to hold me up. Life with MS is is full of surprises. <smh>

I got a call from the state's elderly and disabled services this morning, only to find out that there are no home care workers in my town, I've been hearing this since last year.

Do I know of anyone in my area who could help me? No, not even my middle son who doesn't even have a job. He doesn't want a guaranteed $11+/hour helping his own mother get to dr appointments or grocery shopping.

Not a good feeling.

[Howie]

You could always disown him, but I know how you moms are.

Seriously, he probably wants to feel on his own, and being with his mom would put a dent in that, even getting well paid.

[Virginia]

Jendie, what to do about and with teenagers? I think that is an age old problem. I do wish you had more help. I live in a large city, but still do not have help with changing a light bulb and things like that. I can kind of relate to how you must feel. But since he is living with you he really does need to pitch in. Do you give him any money anyway? If so just stop until he does his share. I know it is easy for me to say. I don't have a teenage son.

Jeanie has such wonderful sons now but they are waaay grown. I wonder if she had any trials and tribulations with them at the age your son is.

Howie, I know you were perfect - just like now!

[agate]

Jendie, just after I moved here I set up an arrangement for my son to be paid the going rate, I think it was $11/hour, to take me to/from some appointments. He was in between jobs but I'm sure the money wasn't exactly what he had in mind as wages.

I guess I'd prefer to have anyone other than a family member being paid to help me, though. The relative probably knows you better than a paid worker from an agency but what if you want to make some changes in the way things are done? How do you order a relative around? I find that really difficult but some people have a knack for it.

When there's an agency, you tell the worker how you want things done or what changes need to be made, and if the worker doesn't like the idea, or just doesn't do things right, you can discuss it together, or you can ask the agency about a change in worker.

This system isn't perfect. For instance, a helper who had been with me for months had a way of being in a hurry to leave early, and one day she was putting the laundry away when I said, "But these towels are still wet."

She hastily said, "No, they're not. They're dry" and went on putting them away.

There wasn't much to be done in that situation, as she was getting to the end of her scheduled time and needed to leave. Maybe I could have called her on it and asked her to check the towels again and we'd have argued about whether they were damp.

She'd have insisted they were dry, I'd have insisted they weren't. "Alternate facts"? Her facts and mine didn't coincide.

The only thing to do was to shrug it off and move on. I knew that most workers lasted only a couple of years, and the issue wasn't a big one. I just took the towels out of the cabinet and hung them up to dry and kept an eye on the way she did laundry from then on.

But that's the kind of remark--about the towels not being dry--that I probably wouldn't have made to a relative or friend helping me. When you know somebody is doing you a favor by working for you, you don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Someone who needs the money and is getting paid to help me is another matter entirely--though I'd prefer not to be related to the person helping me.

[jendie]

My middle son lives with his father, he'll be 24 in 2 months. My teenager has high functioning autism, so that can be a challenge on it's own.

My middle son was my caregiver in 2010, but stopped because of medical issues. He's had surgery 2x to fix the medical problems, but didn't go through PT, like he should have. (Back surgery)

He says he wants to find a job near his dad's place, but there isn't much available.

[Howie]

I replied to another missing post! DOH!!!
........................................

I found it, but the moment is gone.

[Virginia]

Jendie, a not so good situation. I hope you can ask around and find someone who can help you out, at least with getting back and forth to Doctor appointments. There is an agency here that I think does that, however it is for the elderly and a friend of mine used them a couple of times and then they just didn't show up for a Doctor's appointment. So, there doesn't appear to be really good options. She started calling a cab. I suggested Uber, but for some reason she did not like the idea.

One time I saw a Geriatric Doctor and I saw a lot of cards from different people in his waiting room. I wish I had grabbed about 12 to 15, because I know some of them were old and probably out of business. Now, I can't remember his name or where the office is. But if you can find a Geriatric Doctor's office that you could get to you might just look around their waiting room, even though you are not going to see the Doctor. I don't know if they do that in other places or not.

[agate]

Virginia, I wish I'd thought to look around the waiting rooms for cards about people or organizations offering transportation. I'm going to do that in the future.

Some years ago a doctor in my area was pushing his cataract surgery, and in his ads he stated that the office provided transportation for his cataract surgery patients. I believe it was a van that ran.

I don't know if other medical providers are supplying transportation but it might be an idea whose time has come. Most medical providers I've dealt with have been nice about letting me wait on through their lunch hour for my transportation and about putting up with me hanging around there for hours. They'll usually offer to make the calls for me but I try to spare them that because the calls involve long waits on hold.

Jendie, if your community is of any size, and you mentioned an elderly and disabled services so I'm assuming that it at least has that type of agency, there must be other people in your situation. Have you tried leaning on the elderly and disabled services people for a list of transportation resources for people like yourself?

Or you could do a Google search for "transportation resources for the disabled in ------- [name of city and state]." You might find a few possibilities. I'm betting that there's a paratransit system somewhere.

Since the ADA, I believe it's mandatory in many communities as an alternative to "fixed route" transportation for those who can't easily get to/from bus or train stops.

Usually if no paratransit van can be sent for you, the system sends a taxi, but you don't pay. You pay for the tickets to ride the van but you don't usually pay much. Here it's $2.50 for one way.

[stillstANNding]

In MA, the state has contracted w Uber to provide "Rides" for 6000 of their customers that agreed to be in the pilot study. Both state and customers were pleased w results.
- source: State of the State address last night
ANN

[Earth Mother 2 Angels]

((((((Jendie)))))) ~

Perhaps you can contact the State's department of health services to find out what kind of assistance you can get. You might be eligible for an assistance program (in home supportive services, for example). Here's a link to their website for contact:

Only registered and activated users can see links., Click Here To Register...

Sometimes it can take a lot of phone calls, but it may end up being worth your time, if you can identify social services programs available to provide you with the assistance you need to remain independent and live safely in your own home. (Those are key buzz words, so use them, when you call the State.)

I hope you can find the help you need.

Love & Light,

Rose

[Virginia]

Agate, I have never seen those cards in other Doctor offices - just the Geriatric, but there were dozens of different people who had left cards for different reasons. A lot of them were for jobs if I remember correctly - as in taking care of the elderly.

[Jeanie Z]

:) I got Lacy another long sleeved onesie. I also met my friend's daughter for dinner and we had a good two hour dinner and chat. It was her birthday and it was good to catch up as her mother (an old dear friend) has become sort of a recluse.

I gave her a book by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling. I read several pages in it each morning and it helps me stay more positive. She has been struggling with not drinking and trying to quit smoking. She seems determined enough so I hope it helps. Jeanie :)

[stillstANNding]

I have been thinking about Lacy. I'm glad that she can't harm herself with incessant scratching but does she still feels the itch? Not being able to get to it would be maddening. OTOH, you haven't mentioned that she is trying to rip the outfit apart so maybe it's comforting?

ANN