What's Happenin'

[Jo6]

((((mrs j))))

Hey Lady!! Yes indeed I remember you!! I have been posting in Alzheimer's Forum wanting to know if anybody had heard from you. I've missed you!

Mrs. J I just lost a long post I was sending you. I have to be away from the computer for a little while, but I will be back and write you again. I have missed you so and have worried about your little family. Thanks for posting. I'll be back!!

all my love, Jo s

[Jo6]

(((( mrs. j ))))

J, I wrote you a long post the other day when I was here but I lost most of it somewhere. Who knows where these post go!!

I explained to you why I didn't answer you on Face Book. I'll try again. I had so many relatives on there that came out of the woodwork when I logged on. My kids, grands and my sibs. and their grands and many people that I knew. It took so much of my time I got to where I couldn't sit long periods and people would get mad cause I didn't answer them.

Then a stranger started using my password. I have no idea how that happened, but I think maybe it was a mistake that Face Book had!! I didn't post much after that and tried to get them to take my account off. It seems they only hear what they want to hear. I don't know how to work all the stuff that has changed now. Ever now and again I will go there and answer one of my kids, but seldom do I do that.

I do appreciate you thinking about us when my MIL died. That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you and Ken thanks you.

Now, how are you since your surgery? How is the rest of your family? I hope you will write and catch me up. I have thought of you so much and I've worried, afraid the surgery didn't go well.I hope you are healing well and feeling much better.

take care and hope to hear from you soon. all my love, Jo

[mrsjerome]

Jo
I just wrote a post on the alzheimers forum on the very recent events concerning my husband.
As far as myself I did have that knee surgery and went to a NH for a while after for re-hab.. I tell you Jo never ever if I have my mental faculties would I ever admit myself to a NH again. I swear I sooner drive off a cliff.
I had some surgery last month unrelated to the knee. I am just starting to drive a bit more now. No Nh for me this time around. My daughter stayed with me for a few days and I was able to be by myself. If you want to PM me I will give you my e-mail and will talk more about a lot of things. I’m not sure how to message you on this site. I understand about FB. Only good thing there don’t have to be politically correct in the posts made. Also easier to see pictures and such. I can understand how FB could be frustrating for you having to sit too long. I can’t sit too long myself. My laptop that I used to have broke and so I have to rely on my desktop. So that is a problem for me too.
Anyways I will try and come around more over here.
Take Care
mrs j

[Jo6]

((((mrs. j ))))

I'll shoot you off a PM and give you my email addy. Yes, what you said about BT. I feel safe with the registared members, but people, sometime hundreds (view) as they go lurking. I have no idea who all these lurkers are.

I think family checks up on me, but I don't care. I have not been too shy about about posting names, especially in the Alzheimer's Forum. I know one of my SIL's posted in Alzheimer's F. She didn't hang around too long. I just kept posting as usual. K's family is not close and since MIL died they never see or talk to each other.

I can understand about you're feelings toward NH's!! I have instructed Ken to shoot me, but alas he didn't want to break the law. lol They are not pleasant to be there and I know you had a time.

I went to FB to see if they had closed my account. no, they had not and someone else is using my password. I think I know who that it is one of my granddaughters. Just wait until I see the little squirt!! I saw where somebody had posted to people because she was cleaning out her "friends" list. I saw red when I saw that. the first ones I saw was my 2 sisters. Now I've got to write them, email, and tell them it wasn't me!! I tried to post it on my page but I don't know if it posted or not.

You take care and I'll go to Alzheimer's. all my love, Jo

[dawnmn]

Went to the taster's information session and there is 200 people there trying for the postion. Needless to say I didn't do well on the questionaire about food. Since I don't cook it was a little hard to answer the questions.

There was some hard ones. Like describing a certain food. I suck at that. I just enjoy eating. They asked what food you didn't like. I put down I will try most things first.


Well I will check that job off my list. I know for sure it ain't going to be me going back for more interveiws.

Pati, yes if my daughter buys the horse I will help her train it and also ride it.

[Buttons2]

snow flurries just now!

weird to see some snow!

yesterday a friend came over & took me to lunch & shopping @ thrift stores. I bought alot of books.

then my housemate said he was giving me a Roth IRA from his daughter's estate. I should be grateful but instead I'm rather furious. give me money is one thing,make me use his friend's business to do it is another. just another way to control me & I don't want this gossipy lady to know anything about me. my first inclination was to tell him where to shove it. however since I have several days to "think it over" I will just bite my tongue for now.if he'd not said "afterall you live pretty cheap here" I might have smiled & said thanks. instead he has once again made me feel like nothing. don't expect anyone to understand since I've never gone into how he treats me & ALL the women he fools everyday.

just needed to rant a little.

[Jo6]

((((Pati)))) dear, your HM makes ME so mad I could chew nails!! How Dare he talk to you this way!!

No matter what he gives you it could never pay you what you deserve having to chase around after him to keep him from killing himself with his meds.!!

I am glad you feel you can rant and rave here. It has been my saving grace many times over.

About the IRA, is it totally in your name? Can you not change brokers ? We did that before Ken retired. We were losing money hand over fist with the one we dropped. We both feel we made the right decision to change. things are bad with the market right now, but we are at least holding our own instead of losing every time the market burped. Slowely we are gaining our loses back.

Sorry, this was your rant, but I don't like anybody putting my dear friends down that way. If you walked out the door he would be on his hands and knee's begging you to come back.

You deserve Much better!!

I love you bunches, Jo

[joy]

[B]Pati sweety, it is MY opinion he is not worth the wiping off his own boots on his own doorsteps compared to what all you do for him. Put up with it is Number 1 ! It is not polite to try and say funny things when one does not have a brain.

Think it over. I agree with you, somehow maybe you can make him see that this other woman does not need to know his business ? I agree, I 'd hate for her to know. BTW, you don't have the only one like that, unfortunately. Have I mentioned I rarely get to talk? Hubby has always been on soapox about something, seems if his mouth isn't running, he ain't happy. Boy I gotta get to feeling better soon. I do get mean don't I, LOL?

I am sending you a PM Pati/B]

[tic chick]

hey everyone!

some of you know this if you read my posts in the alzheimer's forum and for the rest of my friends here i just wanted to say that i was legally separated from my husband of 34 years last month. this is at least 10 years longer than i should have stayed, but it's a very hard decision to make. i can't love someone more than they should love themselves. i think because everything declined over so long a period of time, that i'm not very depressed over it. just sad. my children supported me and i have my therapist to talk about my feelings with. that's about all i'm every going to say about it, but if you know a nice single man between 52 and 60, i'd appreciate it if you'd pm me .

i have gone out on a few dates, which is really weird. as the song goes "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here i am stuck in the middle"... you never find anyone perfect, just someone whose faults you can live with.

the process of getting separated is the same as divorce, splitting everything up, etc. what a nasty 8 months it has been. the house is mine, so i have my security here and my friends.

so, i'm going to go it alone. i have to find a job, no doubt about that...and many other changes. i'm just glad i got the courage to do this. seeing my mom dying from alzheimer's i had a lot of food for thought. i don't want to regret anything i did or didn't do in my life. it's all a process of growing and walking your own path in life. it wasn't all bad, just the last 10 years. and i have 3 mostly wonderful children that wouldn't be here if things had gone a different way.

and as dr, seuss said, “Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

thank you all for being here and sharing and caring everyday,
jeannie

[Buttons2]

thanks for the support!

you gals know me rather well. have been reading between the lines for years now eh? first thing I said was "that's Lori's money,would she have given me some?". he said Lori liked you alot & she would approve.

well the amount is what Lori might have given me,however he made it sound as though this is supposed to be my future if something happens to him!and to stand there & tell me I will only get it if it goes through his friend Linda just made me see red. he talked Lori into putting all her money into Linda's business last spring. then I find out one of his other lady friends works for Linda. and he kept telling me personal stuff that should never have left that office. these 2 gals are both in Kiwanis of course & everyone
has probably figured out by now what I think of that organization!

it's a very small town,I never go there these days. my life is none of their business. I'm his housekeeper-period. I've never pretended to be anything else. since he's such a chronic liar I've not idea what he tells people. he's used me from the beginning. and he has it in his head he saved me from a life of poverty. I wish I'd never met the guy,however what's done is done & I'm stuck here now.

I'm not a religious person,but I've always felt since I've done my best to help him that I will somehow come out OK in the end. probably a total FOOL thinking but what else can I do? my son's,family & close friends have always questioned me about what I will do. same with Lori! what could I say? Lori loved her father but she was no fool. she was grateful I was here so she didn't have to be.now she's gone & I cannot say how much I dread ever having to deal with his twins.

I'm mad at myself for ever getting into this situation in the first place. I'm totally dependent on him & he knows it. until 15 yrs ago I had always been the most independent woman you would ever meet. I raised 2 sons by myself.

I'm just venting.

no different than many other women that fell for a "nice" guy & believed his lies. in his mind he's helping me. in his mind he's a Godsend to all women. fact is he hates women!

well best go read a book & get my BP down. this saga isn't over by a long shot.

get this: one day I told him to take Linda out to dinner since he likes her so much,he said she's 72 yrs old!! guess he only likes them young? good thing he's been impotent for many years or I'd sure suspect a certain little boy that was "unexpected" doesn't have the daddy he thinks he does. in fact years ago when he thought he'd try out Viagra on me so he could pursue one of the young women was when I moved to my trailer for good. how's that for being a snake in the grass?

oh boy,am I ever on a rant!

[tic chick]

get it all out pati...you've been holding it in TOO LONG!!!

((((hugs)))),
jeannie

[LaBella]

Hello everyone, tick chick if you are happy and content good for you, you have a roof above your head and that is important.

Pati go and rant all you want better out than in like Shrek would say.

We have not have any snow so far, but the cold is here to stay and I hate it.

As for me we are doing good, my baby girl did very good in school, the best since the INCIDENT and starting MS and I am very proud of her, she almost did honor roll, if she would have made a bigger effort to study harder for (Guess what) SPANISH; since she speaks the language and understand it even better and her teacher sucks at the language, she is having a hard time taking it seriously, she did not fail but pull a C when she could have easily pulled and A+, but it is what it is. The teacher is the same one that tough my other daughter, and even told her so the first day of school, B says that she was walking into the Spanish class and the teacher stopped her and said, "SO YOU ARE S sister" she goes OH OH is not going to be good for me.

We are also preparing for my parents visit again, they are staying a whole month again, the good thing is that we are going to FL for New Year's so it will be a distraction. I am a little stress though, thinking the fight I will have in my hands because of my daughter (the 18 years old) and her boyfriend and the way I have decided to approach the matter. My mom is very old fashion and I can hear now say "I did not raise you that way, you were not allowed to do this", as a matter of fact my husband told me the other day the same thing, when you were 18 your mom would not have allowed any of the things we are allowing, so I told him, I AM NOT MY MOM, and that is a very good thing. I have come to the realization that I am the way I am because of the way my parents were with ME, my brothers have always being allowed to do anything the wanted, but because I am a GIRL I could not do half of the stuff, so of course I went behind my parents back, rebel very badly and did double of everything, I was a terror honestly, I do not regret some of the experiences but I think that if I had been given more freedom things would have been different and I probably would not have married so young as to get away from under my parents thumb, but because of everything I went thru I am more relax with my girls, I cannot say NO to things that I know I did when I was young, but I do have my set of rules and standards that I have put in motion and the girls know it.

I am sure that the first criticism I will get is the one that I am aware and allowing my daughter to have "sex" with the boy. But honestly it will happen with or without my permission, she is 18 now and in College, is not much what I can do anyways, but oh well my mom will have to live and learn that it is my house and my family and I am doing what I think is best for us.

Hubby is fine, his job give him an "Award" for the best employee of the Region, and this came after he almost sue them for under pay. He is the Supervisor, the only one that speaks Spanish (Which is 1 condition on the contract) and the one that gets pay the less, because he does not have a College degree, but his 30+ years of experience are not good enough to balance the College degree. Well after so much the raise his salary and now gave him an AWARD, but here is the trick, the award will be given by the CEO of the company in NYC and he has to go there (we are in VA), but he has to pay for his traveling and stay expenses because the company will not cover those expenses, so of course he said stick your award wherever it fits you the best because I do not have the $$ to go there.

Sorry for the long post but, I have not post it for a while and also need it to rant some. Thank you for reading.

Bella

[LeoX3]

WOW, I have missed A LOT! This is like the Forum of the SuperWomen...

First off, Jeannie, YOU GO GIRL!
Pati, YOU GO TOO!!
And thank you both for sharing your stories, b/c it reminds me to be glad for my DH (more on him in a second).

Bella, rant away, I think you're right, better you know what your daughter's doing than have her do it behind your back and find out the hard way. (Like when the cops knock on the door, which is how my parents found out a few things, alas. Not me, my sister, which is how I learned how not to do a lot!)

WOOT to all of you!

OK, DH has ONCE MORE DECIDED TO QUIT. WTF? Dude, to quote my Polish grandpa, "S*** or get off the pot!" Last year it was one thing, but now...Again...OK, they gave in to his requests, in writing, and broke their word, so why the indecision here? Sorry, should clarify---he decided to quit in September. Changed his mind. Decided to quit agin in October. Changed his mind.... and so on and so on... I finally flew off the handle and said, "Hon, either pick a date to quit and stick to it, or accept that you're going to be at that place till you retire." So now he thinks he'll quit at the end of January. WHATEVER. Yawn, snore.

Meanwhile, my trek back to wellness has been rocky, but at least I am able to walk more easily now. Had a big setback this week, but hopefully it is temporary. Dang L5 nerve got really bad, thought I had angry killer bees in my back and pelvis and legs. But massage therapy is useful, and rehab doc is AWESOME most of the time, and my GP is SUPERDOC. (Sorry for all the caps, but I've actually been SLEEPING!!! I have energy for more than one hour a day!)

Am still getting horrible bouts of depression, despair, tears, anger, etc., but that's normal for what I've endured. Even the rehab doc has said to expect PTSD type issues from the fact I had to endure that kind of physical pain without real relief for so long. Only downer is I can't ice anymore for more than 20 minutes, so I have lost my best painkiller there, alas....

Interesting thing about all this. I knew intellectually that the body, when it gets stuck in a mode (pain, in my case), will revert to it waaaay easy for a while. But living it? TOTALLY different. I feel like maybe I survived this far so I can write a book for doctors on what their patients are really going through, in terms that are not all medical and cold and technical.

Anyway, I WISH YOU ALL WELL and a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Gotta go to the GP. Silly uterus is acting up a bit. It's all medical and yucky but with luck, it may be a sign of early menopause, and oh how I pray for that!

LOVE HUGS!
Leo

[Buttons2]

glad we are back to active here again.......

Jeannie,you will conquer whatever comes your way in the future. don't be doubting yourself for a second.you're young enough to have an entire other relationship afterall.

Bella,my parents were also too strict with me,I left the morning I turned 18. then my younger sister apparently had to always hear how I'd messed up....she left at age 14! I agree 100% if you are told NO too much then it leads to rebellion. not be fretting too much,your mom is just trying to bring back the old ways & she will face facts sooner or later. kudos to your DH for the award! and glad the girls are doing well.

we've had our first snow in this area. Mt. Baker got 28" last night. (mountain closest to where I live).

now thinking the whole Roth IRA saga might just be moot. my housemate got a bill for ambulance today,I've told him those bills will keep coming after probate but he'll have to learn this himself.

Leo,you're in the home stretch now on health/pain I hope! as for your DH,he'll know when the time is right to quit. being married to you I doubt he's a fool.

locksmith guy came yesterday. guess what? trailer has 2 doors,each key is for a different door! so cost $65. for nothing but to make me a fool for not figuring this out long ago.at least I can sleep better knowing my door is locked.

hope y'all have a good weekend! (((hugs)))) Pati

[Jo6]

SUPERWOMEN!! YES! Now I feel at home. lol Pati, you are a very smart lady and don't you dare call yourself a fool again!! At least you have said it out laud how HM is and not holding it in. What a Jerk he is! You know, he sounds a lot like that sob I was regretfully married to 17 years! I finally wised up and left him. What a joyful day that was!!

Pati, don't give a thought about what those stupid stuck-up "ladies" talk about. He is probably the butt of all their jokes behind his back. I'm glad you have had a cleaning of the mind. If he had any sense he would know what a jewel you are!!

I hope you will find some peace and happiness. Sounds like you have already made a good start! You and Jeannie both will always land on your feet and I admire you both for the strength you both have.

Joy, you and I both know our bitter half aren't always as they seem. When you feel better we will get on that phone and let your hubby try to hurry you up like he did the last time we talked lol lol . Ken gets that way too. I'm looking for a storm when he gets my tickets out of the "pay bill box. I went across the street to the Floral and Gifts shop and did some Christmas shopping. I spent over 200.00$$. He was all into cussing people out about his new computer. Man he was angry and I didn't see any reason to chit chat with him about what I bought!!

Bella, if it is any concelation about the girls you are so lovenly raising, don't give grandma a second thought. She will get over it and the girls will be fine. Once they are 18 our job is done unless they want a mother/daughter relationship as if they were 3 & 4 yrs. old. You are their friend as well as their mother and I can tell you, they will always remember this and be grateful you are the way you are. Isn't it nice to be a mother as well as a friend to our children? I've been the same way with my boys. I also admire you.

Leo, you have had a gosh awful time with your health and I am hoping you will continue to gain your strength, but don't expect it to come over night. Nice and slow would be good. Tell DH to let you know WHEN he quicks, not a word until after the fact!! that will help your stress level and may even help your depression.

Gee, I'm just full of it tonight! Ken can be an angel, but then like a light he can kill with just the right look. I've learned quiet well how to ignore him! I'm so thankful I have so many loving friends right here in ESF!! Just a few pecks on this computer and you are sitting right here beside me. You girls have been a great source of encouragment to me and I'll always be grateful to each and every one of you.

You all have my love and admiration, Julia s all around.